Venice, aka STOP PLEASE STOP WHY HAVEN'T YOU STOPPED: The Musical

All right, I haven't reviewed anything in a long time, but after having a crappy streak in the last week of seeing 2 "meh" shows and 1 mediocre one, I feel like I should get back on the blogging horse, as it were, so that others may avoid my fate.  So, I might as well start with the most "interesting" show to review....which would be Venice.  Venice is currently running as part of the "Lab" series at the Public Theater, which means it is being given the chance to be seen by audiences while it is further developed and whatnot.  However, this is not a truly new work by any means...it has already had productions in both Kansas City (naturally!) and LA.  My advice after many years of development and multiple productions: move on and write a new show.

I went in unsure of what to expect, as I'd heard many negative comments about the show, but also had heard from others who had liked it.  I thought it might be a "generational thing," as is often the case with any musical that includes rap and hip hop.  If so, consider me an old, old man.  I love me some rap and hip hop, but I generally prefer it to be, ya know, good rap and hip hop.  

Venice has a plot, I'm sure.  I can't decide if it has too much of a plot, or too little of one, but either way I guarantee you won't care much about it.  A general summary is that 20 years ago in Venice there was a very vaguely-described terrorist attack that killed a lot of people, including the parents of Venice and Willow (who is/was the daughter of the president...of Venice?).  Since then a corporation has been very greedy!  And that corporation wants...things to happen?  That aren't good!  Honestly, I am still not sure, but it is the basic post-apocalyptic situation in which people like to talk about the elusive "safe zone" a lot, and also hate corporations and the army.  Pretty cutting-edge stuff.  We also encounter our first problem here: either name the location Venice or the character Venice.  You don't need both!  When they are singing about Venice you don't know if it's the character or the city/country/continent/god knows until you later hear the pronoun they are using.  It's like having a character in Oklahoma! named Oklahoma!

Venice and Willow knew each other as kids and have been writing each other letters since then and are in love.  You won't see any chemistry proving this, but fortunately we have a completely pointless rapping narrator to tell us these things that are never fleshed out through the actual book scenes with 1-dimensional characters.  Venice's half-brother is evil and also has marital problems.  I know you're always interested in the villains' relationship issues!  Also, the CEO of the evil corporation loves Willow.  You can see where this is all heading.  The casting director has kindly made things easier to understand by casting the men on a sliding scale basis…usually the darker the skin the man has, the more evil he is.  

Throughout this we have a narrator to over-explain the plot at times, and other times to literally just stand in the scaffolding and watch.  As I mentioned before, this character is completely unnecessary...but happens to be the lyricist and composer, so I suppose that provides job security.  His main function on stage seems to be bulging his eyes and gesturing with his hands like a mad, gay Italian.  This photo summarizes 95% of his scenes:

Just in case you find yourself bored during the first 2/3 of the first act with these underdeveloped characters, they also add in the half-brother's wife, and Nicki Minaj....sorry, I mean Lady Hailey Daisy.  Sorry, I mean Nicki Minaj.  She is apparently both an entertainer and the mistress to government workers.  She's literally a government hooker!  Her purpose is to be SEXY and HIP and MODERN.  She performs a number at a party right before the wedding of Venice and Willow (?!) in which she introduces herself by saying something like "I AM THE HOTTEST BITCH IN THIS JOINT!"  Apparently in the post-apocalyptic world it isn't a faux paus to steal attention from the bride.

Adding to the book problems are the music...a few tunes are hummable, but the lyrics are problematic, to say the least.  I usually am not much of a lyric nazi, but there are so many false rhymes that you get excited when you hear a true rhyme...such as rhyming "enemy" with "enemy."  The hook to one song is literally something like "I can't imagine what we imagined would happen is happening/Is this really happening?"  I wish I had the lyrics on hand, as I believe there's another "happen" in there somewhere.

The set pretty much consists of stairs and scaffolding, so it's basically Michael Grieif's wet dream.  The choreography is somehow strangely Riverdance-ish, in that they move their legs A LOT, and their torsos don't do much.  I am not sure how that fits in with a modern/futuristic show, but I am sure there is a reason.

I honestly did want to like Venice; I ignored the "It's too loud!  The rap is terrible!" comments and thought it was the usual old theatre queens doing what they do best.  However, these opinions are sadly in line with my own.  Even with a fairly strong cast, this show shouldn't move any further without a complete overhaul.  It's a bad sign when the two most entertaining parts of the show were watching the queens in the first row's reactions to the show (which were very similar to my own), as well as staring at the sweat that accumulated in a VERY unfortunate place on an actor's costume.  Note to costume designers: tight grey suits can be hot, but if you notice that your actor sweats in awkward areas then change the costume!  Or just as a general rule: don't have people wearing tight suits and dancing around under hot lights.

I’ll end this rambling post with a general thought: not every type of show or story lends itself to a musical.  After seeing various movie-to-musical transformations over the year, I think all of us can agree on this.  While Venice isn’t based on a movie (it’s VERY loosely influenced by Othello), I don’t think post-apocalyptic plots really scream out “musical!”  If people asked themselves “Would this really make a good musical?” more often, we could avoid these pena ajena situations.

Spring Awakening/Despertando en Primavera...Revisited

Well, my dear friend Manu got free passes to Spring Awakening on Saturday and I can’t say no to a) free things, b) theatre, and c) free theatre.  So, sensing that my last review may have created a wee bit of drama, I decided to revisit it and give my thoughts on this performance, as I left with some very different impressions than the week before.

First of all, a brief explanation as to why I am reviewing the show in the first place.  Despite what some may think, it is not out of bitchiness or the desire to make people think they are doing a bad job.  With tickets being $500 (which, let’s face it, is not cheap), I believe that people have the right to share their thoughts and advise others to see or not see a show.  That is a big investment, and since Mexican media generally doesn’t really review theatre, it can be hard to really know if it is worth it or not (and 100-character glowing tweets from 13 year-old girls don’t really count as useful reviews, in my book).  In the end, we all want to see good theatre.  I don’t want to bring down others, but the arts should be reviewed and create a discussion.  So yes, that is me and my “don’t mess with my 1^st Amendment, bitches!” explanation.

Anyway, the show!  Overall, I was much happier with this performance than a week before.  I think a lot of this stemmed from the fact that they had a much, much better sound mix.  The very distracting sound booth has fortunately been moved elsewhere (the audio guys and their very bright laptops distracted me for the entire performance a week ago, as they were between the orchestra and mezz section), I could understand all of the lyrics, and the entire mix just sounded much more professional.  One of the poor conductor’s keyboards was out of commission for most of the second act for some reason, which did lead to a rather empty orchestra sound at times, but I am willing to ignore that, since that is a performance-specific issue and the rest has improved so much.

This time around I saw Melissa Barrera as Wendla and I thought she was quite good.  She has a nice voice, acts well, and despite the fact that she seems to be very tall, she acted innocent and young enough to make me believe her as Wendla.  Once again, I saw Mauricio Romero as Melchior, and I enjoyed his performance just as much as the week before.  He has the register to hit the (quite) difficult high notes and is overall a good Melchior.

I continue to be obsessed with the lighting.  I am going to hire the lighting designer to follow me around so I can make dramatic entrances everywhere I go.

The girls harmonize beautifully and I do admit that I wanted to hop around along with them to “My Junk.”  Unfortunately, I can’t say that the male group harmonies are up to the same level; separately they can sing fine but when all of them sing together it doesn’t sound quite right.

I still maintain that the book parts need work.  They are too rushed and you don’t connect with the characters nearly as much as you should.  They feel like brief interludes between rocking out, and that isn’t how it should be.  It is a very challenging show to direct, as you have to find the right balance between modern and old, and that balance still hasn’t been obtained, unfortunately.  The script is a bit strange even in English, but there are some very powerful lines that don’t have the “oomph” that they could.

I could go on and on, but I’ll wrap this up and share my final thoughts.  I am not saying that the show is perfect, but it is quite enjoyable, and if you go in with a blank slate maybe you will immediately fall in love with it.  No matter what, Spring Awakening is a great show and even if there are points that could be improved, you should see it.  There were very few people in the performance I went to, and they deserve a bigger audience than what they are having.  Tickets are 50% off for “el buen fin” so go see it and let me know what you think.  And since I am completely re-obsessed with the cast recording lately, maybe I’ll see you there.

Spring Awakening (Despertando en Primavera)

Okay, Spring Awakening review time! Hmm, where to start? Hmmm. Well, first of all I’m going to assume you know something about this show, as I am not explaining everything.  Mainly just high- and low points.

So overall it wasn't terrible but it also wasn't great. It really varied throughout the night in terms of quality. I think it is impossible for SA to be awful just because the music is great, so there will always be something redeeming in it. However, the direction is really confused. Like, I don't think the lady understands the show.  Or if she thinks she does then we both definitely have different opinions as to what it is about. Basically, if you approach the show as "I want to hear good music" then you will have fun. The songs were performed pretty well and I remembered why I love the show so much. However, the book parts are EXTREMELY rushed and you don't feel tied to the characters nearly as much as you should. And you don't walk away with the messages you should walk away with.

Let's start with the cast...it turns out I was there for the first performance of the Melchior understudy, and I think it was the Wendla understudy’s first performance, too (not completely sure) This Melchior looked younger than Alan and I liked him; he had a good voice and acted well. Wendla wasn't quite as good, but was fine...like not bad, but her voice wasn't as powerful as I would like in certain parts. The rest of the cast was varied in terms of quality...overall the girls had better voices than the guys. I realized how a fair amount of the songs have really high parts for guys to sing and honestly everyone had problems with those parts...Melchior, Hanschen, Moritz...no one could hit the notes well. I realize they are not easy to hit, but that is your job! So cast accordingly or do something! The guy who played Ernst had a really nice voice, but has like 3 lines so that's a shame that he has that part.

The strangest direction and acting were in Moritz and Ilse. Like...Moritz was just kinda childish and excited about sex in the first act and not nearly as intense and torn as he should be, so the suicide didn't really make sense. Partly this is the actor's fault for his choices but the director should have steered him. I thought he was better in the second act in his frustration, but the issue was that his frustration made no sense. There was no clear road that got him there.
 
Ilse was WEIRD. WEIRD!!!!! She was just like a fast-talking young girl who desperately wanted to hang out with Moritz? She was not a hippie at all, nor anything I would expect. I didn't understand it at all. She sang pleasantly, but you could tell the girl felt it was her time to be in a concert because it was too American Idol-y and not theatre-y.

The other ensemble girls were really good at playing the young age well, even if they are older than the Broadway girls.

What I really felt was missing, and I'm not surprised by, was that this production was WAY less German. Like, at times the mother was too modern and also Mexican-acting. Obviously the adults were very German as teachers but I didn't like how they played the parents. And that lack of direction goes throughout...it was far less German, which isn't necessarily a problem, but I think it needs to feel a little more old-fashioned and conservative/restrictive/oppressed at times for it to make more sense.

The staging was very similar to Broadway...the set was similar except the backdrop was like a church instead of a brick wall or whatever it was in NY. They had the tree on the ground and they have sex on the swinging platform. They also had onstage seating.

The sound was a HUGE issue, and I know part of it is the fault of the theatre...but it was ridiculous at times. Plus the producers chose this crappy theatre, so it is a very legitimate complaint.  A lot of the lyrics were unclear, and then the mix would just suddenly change in the middle of the song for no apparent reason.  From what I hear, this happens in every performance.  Considering they have been open for weeks, I don’t really understand hwo this could still be happening.  On the other hand, the lighting was quite impressive and was very powerful. I was very pleasantly surprised by that.

Despite the sound problems, the songs were performed well overall. Too bad that the stage is rather small, as Totally Fucked was too crowded and they had to like dodge each other so they couldn't be as free.  Once again, don’t understand this theatre choice.


The audience seemed to enjoy it...I mean, they were very quiet overall and really barely laughed at all, but they seemed happy with it in the end. And I've read a lot of positive tweets about it.  I'm sure if I hadn't seen it in NY I would be happier with it than I am. Though the review sounds pretty negative, I actually did enjoy many parts and think many people will enjoy the show.  I want to see it again a) with the expectation of it being a concert, and b) so I can see the main Melchior and Wendla
End of my rambling.

Departamentos!

So Eduardo and I have kinda been looking at apartments to buy lately, though more half-assed than we would wish. Today we went to an apartment-buying convention thingy at the WTC and god some good ideas and contacts. On the way back we decided to walk around the area, since it is an area we like. We found a few buildings we liked, and then randomly this lady that saw we were looking around told us there was a good building a few blocks over. We decided we might as well look, so we walked over...and found the most amazing apartment building EVER! We love it! The apartments are beautiful! Well-designed, with amazing closets, bathrooms, fixtures, etc. WE WANT IT!!!!!!!!!!!! Unfortunately it is more than we want to spend.....but we may just have to look into our options because me wantyyyyyyyyyy! There are only two left, so we have to figure this shit out quickly if we actually do want to get it. Hrm. I WANT!!!!!!!! Unfortunately there aren't pics of it online, so I can't show you, but just trust me that it's beautiful. If you have any money lying around, you could always paypal it to the Jeff and Eduardo House Fund! :)

Don't mess with drag queens!!!

So I'm too lazy to blog lately, but in the meantime check out this hilarious video. I wouldn't fuck with that shit!

Gay drama!

So a couple weeks ago Eduardo and I booked our tickets to Oregon for Kris’ wedding, and we MAY have tacked an extra week onto the trip to spend in NYC! WOOT! Very exciting, especially since Eduardo hasn’t been there since 2003!

Anyway, right before we booked our tix, we found out that George Michael would be doing his big farewell tour in NYC right around the time we were there! We were going to leave on Monday, the 21st, but we extended it so we could see him on the 21st (and so I could see my boyfriend Jonathan Groff in Hair on the 22nd, woot!).

Anyway, I was very worried about tickets because arena concerts are HORRIBLE and EVIL and you can never get tickets, but spend a million dollars for the seats anyway. And you have to deal with Ticketmaster, which is like the worst company ever, fucking bitches! AND tickets in NYC were literally twice as much as other cities! GRRR! But I didn’t care, because it is his first U.S. tour in 17 years and probably the only chance I’ll have of seeing him!

So I found out about the AMEX presale that started on Monday morning at 8 AM. I usually leave for school at about 8, but figured it would be okay if I was a few minutes late, since George Michael > school, thank you! Um, little did I know the drama that was to ensue!

So the tickets sold REALLY fucking fast and the seats in the 2nd section were crappy and way too far back. I opened another window to check what the seats were like in the 3rd section, and they were closer, so I decided to get those instead, even tho I wanted better ones. So I went through with the purchase and when I got to the confirmation page it didn’t say the section or seat numbers, which I thought was strange. I clicked purchase anyway and was happy until I checked my receipt, and they gave me the shitty 2nd-level far away seats!!! WTF! Apparently you can’t have two windows open because the cookies or whatever mess with the site. FUCKERS!

So at first I emailed them and hoped they would reply quickly. Well, they didn’t. Even though I should have left for school then, I was on a mission and got out my calling card and started calling Ticketmaster. I tried every single NYC state line and they were all busy. I couldn’t call the Oregon number because they weren’t open, so I decided to call a random-ass state with no people….i.e. Kansas! They transferred me to customer service, and I had to wait like another 20 minutes. I finally got a bitchy lady, but fortunately she was helpful and said she would cancel my order so I could buy them again. Well that took another 15 minutes, then I could go back and buy the ones I wanted in the first place.

In the end I was an hour late to class and spent WAY too much money on this damn concert, but at least we have tickets now! It better be a good concert! Hello, they should have given me first-row seats after being on hold with Ticketmaster for an hour from Mexico! Hrmph.

Um, oops!

So today Eduardo and I were bored and went to one of the many sex shops in Zona Rosa (you know, like you do) and were looking at their selection of dildos (we weren’t going to buy one, thank you!). Anyway, they had all of these big funky ones and stuff and then there was this one sad little one that looked so boring! I turned to Eduardo and asked, “Why the hell would you buy one this small? Well, I guess if you have an Asian boyfriend or something.” RIGHT as I am saying this I notice that there are two Korean guys RIGHT BEHIND Eduardo! Um, oops! Hahaha. I hope they couldn’t speak English! Anyway, I am totally gonna get my ass kicked some day for my big bitchy mouth.

The Mystery of My iTunes Shuffle

K, I am sooooo intrigued by how my iTunes shuffles songs because it totally is some sort of weird gay religious Japanese lesbian! Let me explain. So I have been addicted to shuffling my music lately, but certain bands and musicals keep coming up OVER AND OVER. The shuffle’s most common choices are Ben Folds, Pet Shop Boys, Erasure, Melissa Etheridge, Dreamgirls, Japanese music, and a musical called Godspell that I have never listened to, but mentions Jesus every other lyric. Yesterday it played THREE Japanese songs in a row, and I have heard a Godspell song at least every day, despite the CD only having like 16 tracks. I don’t get it! I know it’s “random” and there is no point in analyzing it, but I don’t think it is random! It has a mind of its own and it’s driving me clazy!

Just what I need, another TV addiction…

While most people spent their semana santa (holy week) traveling to fun places and enjoying the weather, Eduardo and I stayed at home and watched an entire season of Project Runway in like four days. Some might think this is sad, but it was fun, dammit ;)

I had seen the first three seasons of PR and knew Eduardo would love the show as much as I do, but he had NO interest in watching it. When I tried to force it on him, he was like, “I’m not THAT gay!” Well, apparently he is because he is more addicted than I am at the moment! Yayyyyy, Project Runway is the shit!

Anyway, we watched the entire fourth season and loved it, but I’m sad because I had deleted the first three seasons off my external HD since I didn’t think I’d watch ‘em again, and now he wants to see them! So we are either gonna search for bootlegs of it at the tianguis or get them at Blockbuster….hopefully they have them at the tianguis because I don’t like paying for something and not being able to keep it! That is definitely not fierce…some may call it a hot tranny mess!

Oh my god!

Dude, trashy blogs are now using "sad?!" WTF! I must know how this is happening....I think people are spying on my "sad"-filled E-Mails!

Funny and scary

Two links....first, the funny one (sadly it is totally me and Eduardo!) from Stuff White People Like.

And now the INCREDIBLY SCARY one! How the hell old is Donatella Versace?! Ack!!!! If she has to be in my nightmares now, at least I won't be alone, muahahahaha.

One more

Who knew that Alec Baldwin could be so funny? He may be a jackass, but this is freaking hilarious.

YouTube Addiction

K, I am currently addicted to certain YouTube videos and I figured I should share my guilty pleasures. Enjoy?

In case you somehow missed it, Sarah Silverman's "I'm Fucking Matt Damon."

Amanda's acting reel from Ugly Betty.

Amanda busting out "Milkshake" in church on Ugly Betty.

Okay, last Ugly Betty clip! Amanda and Mark getting drunk and singing Dreamgirls. Yes, I love me some Amanda on UB!

I just got into 30 Rock and am totally addicted to it at the moment...here is Tina Fey being "crazy" while studying abroad in Germany.

K, this is the gayest song ever, but Thalia's Seduccion is the shit!

And always a classic, Robin Sparkles' awesome '80's music video from How I Met Your Mother!

Photo Update!

So I FINALLY uploaded Mexico pics....check 'em out here!

More Rent news, woot!

So originally Eduardo and I were going to meet up with my family in a resort in Los Cabos in May, but that isn't working out as planned. So I think we are going to meet up in Scottsdale, AZ, instead (yes, random). Anyway, I randomly looked up the theatre schedule there for when we would be there....and fake Rent is going to be there EXACTLY when we are there! Coincidence?! Methinks no!

Also, rumor is that the REAL Rent tour with Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp will be in Portland June, 2009. Let's hope so, woot!

Movies in Mexico rooooooooooooock

So movies in Mexico are amazing for two reasons! One is that their nachos are the shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit! I usually don’t buy food at the movies ‘cause it is a rip-off and blah, but I have to make a fatty exception here, because they have nachos that are the same as trashy American nachos, BUT they have bowls of jalapenos, onions and tomatoes to put on top of them! It is self-serve, so you had better believe I put like ten pounds of condiments on top. It is fucking goooooooooood and I am gonna have to bring like chopped up veggies in a bag when I go back to the States, haha.

The other reason is because they have “VIP” screens, which means that you pay twice as much for a normal ticket (but only ten bucks), and it is all exclusive and stuff! There aren’t nearly as many chairs, which means less annoying people, AND the chairs are huge comfy leather recliners! They come in pairs, separated by tables between, meaning you and your boy/girlfriend can sit together and not be next too close to other people. Also you get a waitress that will take your order and bring you your food! It is the shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit and the US should totally have it, although it would be like 20 bucks.

So yes, movies here rock! What doesn’t rock, however, is the shitty movie Vantage Point, which we saw last night and didn’t enjoy at all. Boooo!

Rent lives on!

So, Rent is closing on Broadway June 1st (unless they extend through the summer). Either way, Eduardo and I probably won't be able to see it again before it closes, which is not acceptable! However, there is this good news, which means we can at least see it somewhere in the States one last time, woot! I need to see it again knowing it is my last time seeing it for real (before a bunch of high school and shit put it on, ewww!).

Take that, Obama bitches!

Hahahaha.

Scary!!!

So I decided to apply to Berlitz, the language school that Eduardo, Jorge and others work at, because Jeff be po and need some money up in hea! Anyway, I sent my resume in, and now I have a “language test” on Wednesday. Um, are they going to test my English?! ‘Cause I do not have much confidence in that at all! It is bad enough that Eduardo offered better English advice on my resume than I could muster. I am currently speaking some hybrid of Jenglish/Spanglish/crappy English that doesn’t make any sense to anyone but me. Not a good sign! This will be really depressing if I fail a damn English test. Pray for me!

Wow

This article is depressing.