There goes my mission to avoid Japanese doctors...

I was hoping to go the whole two years in Japan without seeing a scary Japanese doctor, but I had to break down and go to a doctor on Monday, sad! Oh, well, I made it a year, at least.

Anyway, the good news is that Dr. Sakamoto kicks fucking ass because he is totally fluent in English! In fact, his English is better than mine! He kept saying all these medical words as if I had a fucking clue what he was talking about, and I was just like “Oh, yeah, mmmhmm!” He lived in Baltimore before, which is good, because that actually knows what he is doing! Tons of Japanese doctors are like, “I don’t know what you have, so here are some antibiotics!” Er, no thank you. The big question is, what the fuck is an English-fluent doctor doing working in Yabuzuka? Sad!

Japanese doctor offices are weird and depressing, though. First of all it was me and like 10 60 year-olds. Second of all, they send you all over the damn place! They don’t do the American style of sending you from the waiting room, to waiting in the medical room. They transfer you from the waiting room to another room where you do something, then back to the waiting room, then to another room where you do something, then back to the waiting room, then back to one of the previous rooms, etc. It is a lot of moving, yo! It took forever, but oh, well.

Anyway, I had some intestinal thing and the doctor was like, “Don’t eat greasy food, spicy food, or cheese.” Um, FUCK THAT ADVICE!!!!!!!! That is like the worst advice you could ever give me!!!!!! So I think that the whole thing happened because the States poisoned me! How sad is that! My body wasn’t used to all that fatty nasty food, then last weekend I had both Chinese food AND pizza with Tabasco all over it, and I nearly died (I am not dramatic or anything). So yeah...I am still gonna eat that shit, so fuck you, medical institution! Hehehehe.