So the big adventure of the month is that Cindy and I Chinese-d it up in Taiwan (specifically Taipei) from Saturday ‘til Tuesday. It was goooooooooooood times, yo! We didn’t even know what the hell we would do there until a few days before we left, but it was way better than I expected it to be (not that I expected it to be crappy or anything) and I highly recommend going there! Good shopping and eating, good people, good times, good trip, yo!
Shinders and I made our way to Narita on Saturday and we left that afternoon. We went knowing we would be losers and see a movie while we were in Taiwan, but had to choose between The Devil Wears Prada (I fucking love that movie!) and The Departed. Well, Cathay Pacific made that choice easy for us, as we got to watch Prada on the plane! Woot! Anyway, the flight went way fast thanks to the movie. So we got to Taiwan and found the airport to be ghettoooooooooooo! Not a good first impression at all! We also got ripped off on the yen exchange, which was not cool. So we booked the (cheap-ass) trip through a (cheap-ass) tour, which means they would pick us up from the airport and take us to our hotel. We did the same in Korea, but this one was totally different! We had this fucking crazy-ass Taiwanese lady who was like the most Chinese lady ever! That is not a good thing when it means she has to deal with Japanese tourists (and us) and try to be all formal and Japanese-like! She was formal for like three seconds and then started using informal speech, sat down and didn’t look at us while giving the tour on the bus (a big no-no) and was just fucking crazy and NOT Japanese! It was amusing but weird! Like, you cant learn a language and not learn the culture, yo!
Anyway, after getting taken to like 300 hotels before ours (not amused!), Cindy and I finally got to the Santos Hotel, which was really damn nice!!! I was impressed. Plus it was right next to two conbinis, how could you complain?! Of course, in Taiwan EVERYWHERE is next to two conbinis, it is CRAZY! There are like 300 times more conbinis than in Japan, which I didn’t think was possible.
That night we went to the Shi Lin night market, which is the biggest night market in Taipei. It is BIG and was crazy crowded! We soon discovered that Taiwanese people NEVER sleep and NEVER stop eating! Seriously, if Cindy and I were amazed at their eating ability, something is SERIOUSLY wrong with them! We honestly got full just watching them eat. Of course, that didn’t stop us from eating, ourselves! We were sadly the most wasteful people ever in Taiwan, as we just wanted to try bites of everything, so we would try things and throw away stuff we didn’t need. Whoops! So yeah, we devoured all kinds of food that night while we wandered around the crazy-crowded market. For some reason we went to countless markets, even though we soon discovered we hate shopping at markets. The thing one does in the (pointless) search for bootleg DVDs! I did get a couple of cheap legal DVDs, though, which is good enough for me!
That night we went to bed hella late (2 AM, what am I, a college student?! Hehe) and slept a bit before discovering the greatest restaurant in the world the next morning! What is this mysterious amazing restaurant? You will have to wait to find out, muahahaha.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Nalgenes don't translate into Japanese
Like many gaijin, I get a million questions from confused Japanese people when they see my Nalgene bottle full of water. The most common question is, “What's in that?” Hmm, let's see, a large amount of a clear liquid...it is OBVIOUSLY vodka! I mean, what the fuck would it be other than water at work, seriously!
Anyway, a question I have been getting a lot lately from students (after I explain that it's water) is, “Oh, do you only drink water from America?” Now, this is an acceptable question from shougakkou kids, as many of them think that I fly to work from America every day. However, what kind of retarded chuugakkou kid would ask that?! Many of them, apparently! How would I even get American water? “Mom, please mail me 100 gallons of water from America, I REFUSE to drink Japanese water for the two years that I am here!” I guess maybe they could assume it is bottled water from the store, but most of that comes from Japan, too. I don't get it!
Of course, maybe it is best to not question the odd logic found here. This IS a country where I get asked, “Oh, can you eat fish? You can?! YOU ARE SO JAPANESE!,” as if fish are some rare animal found only in the Sea of Japan. It is also amazing to them that I can use chopsticks, despite living here for over a year (I usually don't even bother explaining that I use them in the States, too). I think Japanese people have a great amount of pride regarding their food, culture and everything else, but assume that for some reason no foreigner would ever appreciate it, or even like it. Is that because they think we just wouldn't “get” it? Or is it something else entirely? I have no idea.
Anyway, I am babbling, but if anyone knows that answer or has a theory, let me know!
Anyway, a question I have been getting a lot lately from students (after I explain that it's water) is, “Oh, do you only drink water from America?” Now, this is an acceptable question from shougakkou kids, as many of them think that I fly to work from America every day. However, what kind of retarded chuugakkou kid would ask that?! Many of them, apparently! How would I even get American water? “Mom, please mail me 100 gallons of water from America, I REFUSE to drink Japanese water for the two years that I am here!” I guess maybe they could assume it is bottled water from the store, but most of that comes from Japan, too. I don't get it!
Of course, maybe it is best to not question the odd logic found here. This IS a country where I get asked, “Oh, can you eat fish? You can?! YOU ARE SO JAPANESE!,” as if fish are some rare animal found only in the Sea of Japan. It is also amazing to them that I can use chopsticks, despite living here for over a year (I usually don't even bother explaining that I use them in the States, too). I think Japanese people have a great amount of pride regarding their food, culture and everything else, but assume that for some reason no foreigner would ever appreciate it, or even like it. Is that because they think we just wouldn't “get” it? Or is it something else entirely? I have no idea.
Anyway, I am babbling, but if anyone knows that answer or has a theory, let me know!
Monday, October 09, 2006
Escape from Gunma!
So for the first time in far too long, Cindy and I escaped from Gunma’s grasp on Saturday! We were feeling muy restless and decided to either go to Yokohama or Omiya….we were too lazy and impatient to be on a train for 2 1/2 hours, so we decided on Omiya, and it was a VERY good choice! Omiya is the biggest city in Saitama, the prefecture between Gunma and Tokyo...it is kind of like a mini-Tokyo, sorta. Well, much more Tokyo than any cities in Gunma, hehe.
Anyway, so we get to Omiya, not knowing what to expect (I had been there once, but six years ago and I didn’t really do anything then), and we discover that Omiya has the MOST AMAZING EKI (train station) IN THE WORLD! Like, seriously, you don’t even need to leave the eki! There are like 5 million AMAZING bakeries in one eki! Hello, this place is obviously meant for Cindy and I. On top of that, they have REAL pastries, REAL bread, REAL sandwiches, etc! Then there are like yummy-looking restaurants and shit, too! HELLO!
Anyway, after buying far too many pastries, we leave the eki and find out that Omiya has a Disney Store! We are officially Japanese, as I would totally ignore the Disney Store in the States, but we practically ran to it here! Hahaha. I bought a Stitch toy for my desk, another Stitch strap for my keitai and a STITCH STUFFED ANIMAL! He’s so cute! Yes, I am gay. BUT I decided that I need a boyfriend to hug until my boyo comes here, so Stitch is my boyfriend until March. Wow, this is the most depressing post ever. Anyway!
Oh, also, when I was buying Stitch, the lady at the register was like, “Is this a present?” (to wrap it) and I was like “Um...no...” and she laughed! SAD! Hahahaha.
Anyway, we spent the rest of the day wandering around Omiya. I must say any food addicts MUST go there, as there is a bakery every five feet.
Before we headed back to Gunma, we of course had to raid the bakeries even more. I bought bagels (!!!) to freeze for later, some bread for our dinner the next night, etc.
Wow, this post is really sad, but it was a fun day, god dammit! AND we got great ingredients so that we could make a YUMMY dinner (together) on Sunday night! So yes, it was a good escape from Gunma AND a good way to get fat fat fat!
Here are some pics of my purchases:
Oh, you have no idea how much joy the sight of bagels gives me....mmm...
Bread that ISN'T white?! Unheard of!
Asian-ing my keitai up with some strap action.
For my desk at work, yo.
Stitch!
Sad, he doesn't look very happy to be with me....
Anyway, so we get to Omiya, not knowing what to expect (I had been there once, but six years ago and I didn’t really do anything then), and we discover that Omiya has the MOST AMAZING EKI (train station) IN THE WORLD! Like, seriously, you don’t even need to leave the eki! There are like 5 million AMAZING bakeries in one eki! Hello, this place is obviously meant for Cindy and I. On top of that, they have REAL pastries, REAL bread, REAL sandwiches, etc! Then there are like yummy-looking restaurants and shit, too! HELLO!
Anyway, after buying far too many pastries, we leave the eki and find out that Omiya has a Disney Store! We are officially Japanese, as I would totally ignore the Disney Store in the States, but we practically ran to it here! Hahaha. I bought a Stitch toy for my desk, another Stitch strap for my keitai and a STITCH STUFFED ANIMAL! He’s so cute! Yes, I am gay. BUT I decided that I need a boyfriend to hug until my boyo comes here, so Stitch is my boyfriend until March. Wow, this is the most depressing post ever. Anyway!
Oh, also, when I was buying Stitch, the lady at the register was like, “Is this a present?” (to wrap it) and I was like “Um...no...” and she laughed! SAD! Hahahaha.
Anyway, we spent the rest of the day wandering around Omiya. I must say any food addicts MUST go there, as there is a bakery every five feet.
Before we headed back to Gunma, we of course had to raid the bakeries even more. I bought bagels (!!!) to freeze for later, some bread for our dinner the next night, etc.
Wow, this post is really sad, but it was a fun day, god dammit! AND we got great ingredients so that we could make a YUMMY dinner (together) on Sunday night! So yes, it was a good escape from Gunma AND a good way to get fat fat fat!
Here are some pics of my purchases:
Oh, you have no idea how much joy the sight of bagels gives me....mmm...
Bread that ISN'T white?! Unheard of!
Asian-ing my keitai up with some strap action.
For my desk at work, yo.
Stitch!
Sad, he doesn't look very happy to be with me....
Saturday, October 07, 2006
God damn you, inaka!
So lately I have been bored to death of living by myself and wishing Eduardo could be here living with me........well, apparently Mother Nature heard of my need for a roommate, as she has sent at least two SCARY-ASS MUKADE to my house in the last three days! Let me tell you, these are NOT acceptable forms of roommates and I do not want any more of them in my apartment, god dammit! One was like half of the size of the other one, so there had better not be some freaky-ass mukade family living in my bed or some shit. Bastards!!!!
For those of you who don't know what mukade are, go ahead and poop your pants while looking at this link (mine were smaller than most of those, but not SMALL by any means!). BAH!
For those of you who don't know what mukade are, go ahead and poop your pants while looking at this link (mine were smaller than most of those, but not SMALL by any means!). BAH!
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Signs I have been in Japan for too long
-I clap as a way to show my joy or amusement towards anything.
-I was singing to a song the other day and said “rife” instead of “life.” Ruh-roh!
-When a student who has studied English for three years is able to randomly ask me “What are you doing?” in English, I am both extremely impressed and assume that she goes to juku (cram school) for more English help.
-I instantly understand the meaning of the written sentence, “He likes makubonalubo.” (“He likes McDonald’s.”)
-I was singing to a song the other day and said “rife” instead of “life.” Ruh-roh!
-When a student who has studied English for three years is able to randomly ask me “What are you doing?” in English, I am both extremely impressed and assume that she goes to juku (cram school) for more English help.
-I instantly understand the meaning of the written sentence, “He likes makubonalubo.” (“He likes McDonald’s.”)
Monday, October 02, 2006
Great Undoukai, BAD Enkai!
Friday was Yabuzuka Chuugakkou’s undoukai (sports festival), which is a huge day for the kids and their parents. The kids have been practicing for the various events for a month, and a lot of their parents come to watch their kids race, jump rope, and do other crazy events.
It was a big day for me, as well, as it was my first chuugakkou undoukai! I have been to three shougakkou undoukais and I went to Toyama Minami High School’s a million years ago, but I had to miss Yabuchu’s last year because of a stupid ALT conference. Well, I skipped it this year so I could see the undoukai, and I am VERY glad I did! It was definitely a highlight of my being here.
It is amazing to see how hard the kids work for this! The closest thing you would get to an undoukai in the States would be field day, but that is just for fun and not nearly as much work/organization, etc. Each class within a grade has their own color (with they wear as headbands, use for pom poms, etc.) and they compete with the other classes. The events include races, crazy-ass jump rope events (one that I can’t describe which is crazy, and one in which all 30something kids in each class have to jump together with one huge jump rope), bukatsu competitions (this one is pretty much just for fun…the kids have to race in their sports uniforms. Needless to say, it SUCKS to be a kendo player during this!), and all kinds of other things. The craziest one by far was seriously the most random relay I have ever seen. First one person from each class takes an envelope that has a list of random items in it. They take those items from a pile of random shit, then run to the next part, where a team member spins around a cone 10-20 times (I dunno how many), then runs to the next part, where two kids have to pull a team member on a tire for 50 meters (this sounds harder than it is!). Then the next three kids in the group do a 3-legged race to the end. It was crazy!
Anyway, the whole day was sooooo fun. I just hung out with the kids and cheered with them. It was so amazing to see them cheer for everyone, whether they were in their class or not. They were all really supportive of each other and working their asses off. It actually made me really proud of them, and it showed that they aren’t bad kids after all. So yeah, sugoku kandou shimashita!
That night about half of the teachers went out for an enkai (drinking party), which was extremely fun at the time but BAD NEWS BEARS IN THE END!!!!! Holie!!! At first it was quiet and awkward, as they always are, but after a few beers everyone got genki and rowdy. I fortunately got to hang out with the two youngest teachers, who are muy cool. However, we kept pouring each other beers OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER, as you do at enkais, and it was baaaaaaaaad! I have a feeling I said some stupid-ass shit, but I don’t really remember all of it to be sure! Um, that is scary! After that we went to Shirokiya for the nijikai (2nd party), where I had 3 cocktails that I did NOT need. I am pretty sure I DEFINITELY said stupid stuff there. It is scary, tho, because what happens at an enkai stays at an enkai, so they might know shit and never say it! I guess that is good, but still scary. Anyway, I am getting ahead of myself. Anyway, at Shirokiya, my kouchou sensei busted out this breathalyzer thing that he has? First of all, that is hilarious that he keeps one in his pocket. Second of all, I tested myself, and I SWEAR to god it said 5.0. Um, doesn’t that mean I should be dead?! Surely that can’t be right. Tho I wouldn’t be surprised!
After surely embarrassing myself in ways I don’t remember, I caught the last train back home and promptly ASSED OUT on it. I woke up at what I thought was my stop, but turned out to be the stop AFTER mine! Being that I was shit-faced beyond belief, I wasn’t even surprised, I was just like “Oh, of course!” and started the 30-minute drunk-ass walk back to Yabuzuka eki. Fortunately thanks to my “flat love rate” with Cindy, I was able to have her entertain me via free keitai!
I eventually got back to the eki, drunk-rode my bike home, assed out in my chair in front of the computer, then woke up two hours later and puked my guts out. AWESOME.
Needless to say, the next day was BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD! BAD BAD BAD. I wanted to die. Somehow I made it to Shibukawa in the afternoon, but there were points that I just wanted to end my life. DAMN YOU ENKAIS
It was a big day for me, as well, as it was my first chuugakkou undoukai! I have been to three shougakkou undoukais and I went to Toyama Minami High School’s a million years ago, but I had to miss Yabuchu’s last year because of a stupid ALT conference. Well, I skipped it this year so I could see the undoukai, and I am VERY glad I did! It was definitely a highlight of my being here.
It is amazing to see how hard the kids work for this! The closest thing you would get to an undoukai in the States would be field day, but that is just for fun and not nearly as much work/organization, etc. Each class within a grade has their own color (with they wear as headbands, use for pom poms, etc.) and they compete with the other classes. The events include races, crazy-ass jump rope events (one that I can’t describe which is crazy, and one in which all 30something kids in each class have to jump together with one huge jump rope), bukatsu competitions (this one is pretty much just for fun…the kids have to race in their sports uniforms. Needless to say, it SUCKS to be a kendo player during this!), and all kinds of other things. The craziest one by far was seriously the most random relay I have ever seen. First one person from each class takes an envelope that has a list of random items in it. They take those items from a pile of random shit, then run to the next part, where a team member spins around a cone 10-20 times (I dunno how many), then runs to the next part, where two kids have to pull a team member on a tire for 50 meters (this sounds harder than it is!). Then the next three kids in the group do a 3-legged race to the end. It was crazy!
Anyway, the whole day was sooooo fun. I just hung out with the kids and cheered with them. It was so amazing to see them cheer for everyone, whether they were in their class or not. They were all really supportive of each other and working their asses off. It actually made me really proud of them, and it showed that they aren’t bad kids after all. So yeah, sugoku kandou shimashita!
That night about half of the teachers went out for an enkai (drinking party), which was extremely fun at the time but BAD NEWS BEARS IN THE END!!!!! Holie!!! At first it was quiet and awkward, as they always are, but after a few beers everyone got genki and rowdy. I fortunately got to hang out with the two youngest teachers, who are muy cool. However, we kept pouring each other beers OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER, as you do at enkais, and it was baaaaaaaaad! I have a feeling I said some stupid-ass shit, but I don’t really remember all of it to be sure! Um, that is scary! After that we went to Shirokiya for the nijikai (2nd party), where I had 3 cocktails that I did NOT need. I am pretty sure I DEFINITELY said stupid stuff there. It is scary, tho, because what happens at an enkai stays at an enkai, so they might know shit and never say it! I guess that is good, but still scary. Anyway, I am getting ahead of myself. Anyway, at Shirokiya, my kouchou sensei busted out this breathalyzer thing that he has? First of all, that is hilarious that he keeps one in his pocket. Second of all, I tested myself, and I SWEAR to god it said 5.0. Um, doesn’t that mean I should be dead?! Surely that can’t be right. Tho I wouldn’t be surprised!
After surely embarrassing myself in ways I don’t remember, I caught the last train back home and promptly ASSED OUT on it. I woke up at what I thought was my stop, but turned out to be the stop AFTER mine! Being that I was shit-faced beyond belief, I wasn’t even surprised, I was just like “Oh, of course!” and started the 30-minute drunk-ass walk back to Yabuzuka eki. Fortunately thanks to my “flat love rate” with Cindy, I was able to have her entertain me via free keitai!
I eventually got back to the eki, drunk-rode my bike home, assed out in my chair in front of the computer, then woke up two hours later and puked my guts out. AWESOME.
Needless to say, the next day was BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD! BAD BAD BAD. I wanted to die. Somehow I made it to Shibukawa in the afternoon, but there were points that I just wanted to end my life. DAMN YOU ENKAIS
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Pictures update, yo
I put up some new pics on my photos site....undoukai and other stuff. Go check out my cute kids :)
Thursday, September 28, 2006
ALTs aren’t supposed to be busy!
So this week has been busy at work, wtf?! I was informed like a month ago that I had to give a presentation at the Isesaki Education Center about shougakkou lessons. In fact, the AMAZING title of my lecture (given to me) was, “Useful English Expressions in English Conversation Activities at Elementary Schools.” Yeah, I dunno what that is supposed to mean, either. Some high-up person in the education system in Gunma picked me for it, not because of my amazing teaching abilities (hehe), but because the presentation had to be in Japanese and they somehow knew I could speak?! Bah!
Anyway, I knew a month ago, but of course I waited until Tuesday to actually plan the lecture and make all of the materials for it...meaning that I worked on it the entire work day AND had to stay 2 1/2 hours late! NOT FUN! I made 28 15-page packets, and didn’t realize how that is a HUGE pain in the ass to put together in Japan, the country of not-friendly copy machines (I had to make each page separately, then put them together in a one-man assembly line. Fun times).
So yeah, yesterday was the presentation and it went okay. Donald, another ALT, was in charge of the 2-hour “let’s learn games for shougakkou class” time, and his was really good and of course fun, because it was games. Then came time for my 1-hour presentation, and it was all boring and shit, because I had to talk about what phrases are useful and what aren’t. Yes, that is TERRIBLY exciting. Anyway, I was all worried that it would not be ANYWHERE near an hour, even with group discussion time, but it lasted an hour and would have lasted longer if I hadn’t cut it off?! I don’t know how that worked out. I was talking a mile a minute and I have NOOOOO clue what I said, but hopefully it made sense and wasn’t TOO boring...I have my doubts! Hehe.
In the end it was all okay, as Cindy and I finally got to try the Vietnamese restaurant in Isesaki! It was yummy...a beer and Vietnamese is always a good way to finish a stressful day, yo!
Anyway, I knew a month ago, but of course I waited until Tuesday to actually plan the lecture and make all of the materials for it...meaning that I worked on it the entire work day AND had to stay 2 1/2 hours late! NOT FUN! I made 28 15-page packets, and didn’t realize how that is a HUGE pain in the ass to put together in Japan, the country of not-friendly copy machines (I had to make each page separately, then put them together in a one-man assembly line. Fun times).
So yeah, yesterday was the presentation and it went okay. Donald, another ALT, was in charge of the 2-hour “let’s learn games for shougakkou class” time, and his was really good and of course fun, because it was games. Then came time for my 1-hour presentation, and it was all boring and shit, because I had to talk about what phrases are useful and what aren’t. Yes, that is TERRIBLY exciting. Anyway, I was all worried that it would not be ANYWHERE near an hour, even with group discussion time, but it lasted an hour and would have lasted longer if I hadn’t cut it off?! I don’t know how that worked out. I was talking a mile a minute and I have NOOOOO clue what I said, but hopefully it made sense and wasn’t TOO boring...I have my doubts! Hehe.
In the end it was all okay, as Cindy and I finally got to try the Vietnamese restaurant in Isesaki! It was yummy...a beer and Vietnamese is always a good way to finish a stressful day, yo!
There goes my mission to avoid Japanese doctors...
I was hoping to go the whole two years in Japan without seeing a scary Japanese doctor, but I had to break down and go to a doctor on Monday, sad! Oh, well, I made it a year, at least.
Anyway, the good news is that Dr. Sakamoto kicks fucking ass because he is totally fluent in English! In fact, his English is better than mine! He kept saying all these medical words as if I had a fucking clue what he was talking about, and I was just like “Oh, yeah, mmmhmm!” He lived in Baltimore before, which is good, because that actually knows what he is doing! Tons of Japanese doctors are like, “I don’t know what you have, so here are some antibiotics!” Er, no thank you. The big question is, what the fuck is an English-fluent doctor doing working in Yabuzuka? Sad!
Japanese doctor offices are weird and depressing, though. First of all it was me and like 10 60 year-olds. Second of all, they send you all over the damn place! They don’t do the American style of sending you from the waiting room, to waiting in the medical room. They transfer you from the waiting room to another room where you do something, then back to the waiting room, then to another room where you do something, then back to the waiting room, then back to one of the previous rooms, etc. It is a lot of moving, yo! It took forever, but oh, well.
Anyway, I had some intestinal thing and the doctor was like, “Don’t eat greasy food, spicy food, or cheese.” Um, FUCK THAT ADVICE!!!!!!!! That is like the worst advice you could ever give me!!!!!! So I think that the whole thing happened because the States poisoned me! How sad is that! My body wasn’t used to all that fatty nasty food, then last weekend I had both Chinese food AND pizza with Tabasco all over it, and I nearly died (I am not dramatic or anything). So yeah...I am still gonna eat that shit, so fuck you, medical institution! Hehehehe.
Anyway, the good news is that Dr. Sakamoto kicks fucking ass because he is totally fluent in English! In fact, his English is better than mine! He kept saying all these medical words as if I had a fucking clue what he was talking about, and I was just like “Oh, yeah, mmmhmm!” He lived in Baltimore before, which is good, because that actually knows what he is doing! Tons of Japanese doctors are like, “I don’t know what you have, so here are some antibiotics!” Er, no thank you. The big question is, what the fuck is an English-fluent doctor doing working in Yabuzuka? Sad!
Japanese doctor offices are weird and depressing, though. First of all it was me and like 10 60 year-olds. Second of all, they send you all over the damn place! They don’t do the American style of sending you from the waiting room, to waiting in the medical room. They transfer you from the waiting room to another room where you do something, then back to the waiting room, then to another room where you do something, then back to the waiting room, then back to one of the previous rooms, etc. It is a lot of moving, yo! It took forever, but oh, well.
Anyway, I had some intestinal thing and the doctor was like, “Don’t eat greasy food, spicy food, or cheese.” Um, FUCK THAT ADVICE!!!!!!!! That is like the worst advice you could ever give me!!!!!! So I think that the whole thing happened because the States poisoned me! How sad is that! My body wasn’t used to all that fatty nasty food, then last weekend I had both Chinese food AND pizza with Tabasco all over it, and I nearly died (I am not dramatic or anything). So yeah...I am still gonna eat that shit, so fuck you, medical institution! Hehehehe.
Monday, September 25, 2006
Land of the an ugly-ass language, here I come! (part 2 of 3)
So I hope I get used to the nastiness known as Mandarin in Taiwan, because Cindy and I booked our China tickets yesterday! It feels like we are actually going there now that we have our tickets. Woot. Plus Northwest somehow had the most amazing deal ever…..a multi-city ticket during winter break was only $566?! I don’t know how that is possible, but whatever! Plus it pushes me to just over 60,000 miles on my frequent flier card! Woot! But yeah, yay, China! Time for lots of food and lots of freezing our asses off!
GROOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!
So the teacher that clipped his toenails in the staffroom long ago (well, I am sure he has done it since, but I blogged about it long ago) is currently CLEANING HIS EARS RIGHT NOW!!!!!! Groooosssssss! In the States that would be gross but not dirty, but Asians use the Asian ear pick thing that is wooden and scoops out the earwax…a normal person would use a Kleenex to clean the earwax off the ear pick, but he is using his hands! GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS! Do your personal grooming on your own time!!!!
Thursday, September 21, 2006
My 2nensei are )(#$)(“#$)(“#$)(“#$!!!!!!
Okay, if Yabuchu burns down one day, it is probably my doing. My 2nensei are being the biggest pricks lately, and they will die!!!!! K, not really, but they will feel the ulcers that they are causing in my stomach from not cussing them out and calling them all kinds of names. They seriously cant do ANYTHING in class anymore. They were pretty bad before, but now it is just ridiculous. I decided to cave in and try to give them a fun, easy class today with Go Fish. It isn’t related to what they are studying whatsoever, but I figured that doing SOMETHING in English is better than them not listening to me teaching them. However, they played the game for about five seconds, then started doing magic tricks, making houses of cards, and sleeping. Why do they even come to school?! I don’t get it! GAH STUPID LKJSDFKJNVCOIJWERLKJSDFLKJSDFOIUWERLNCVLKJSDFOIUWEROIUWER!
Japanese teachers need lives!
Dude, I asked my kyoto sensei for nenkyu (time off) two days ago, and my JTE already knows I am going to Taiwan somehow?! Do they have like meetings about us? Also, this makes me paranoid that he is going around like, “Man, that Jeff takes off way too much time to travel around Asia! What a fucking bastard!” Hmm, oh well! But yes, I really don’t know how word spreads so fast. Weird.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Thailand is clazy!
Dude, so I was reading about the Thailand wackiness going on right now, and was amazed at this statistic:
Thailand, a longtime U.S. ally, has had 17 coups since World War II. Rumors of an 18th had been swirling around Bangkok in recent weeks as Thaksin battled considerable pressure to step down.
WTF! That is like three a decade! That is so weird....I can't even imagine that happening? Hmmm. Well, as long as they don't take over the resorts, I don't mind too much ;) Hahahaha, just kidding....yes, kidding.....
Thailand, a longtime U.S. ally, has had 17 coups since World War II. Rumors of an 18th had been swirling around Bangkok in recent weeks as Thaksin battled considerable pressure to step down.
WTF! That is like three a decade! That is so weird....I can't even imagine that happening? Hmmm. Well, as long as they don't take over the resorts, I don't mind too much ;) Hahahaha, just kidding....yes, kidding.....
The TV season is upon us!
Man, I can't believe that TV shows are already starting!!! I didn't even know half of my shows started this week...time flies when you're...er...sitting at your desk for a whole summer! Hehe. I have already downloaded Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (I will never call it that long-ass title ever again, btw), but I have yet to watch it. I hear it's good! And The Office AND Grey's Anatomy this Thursday, holie! And then Ugly Betty, Veronica Mars, The Nine....so much TV, so little time. Ya know, 'cause I haven't been watching ANY TV since the season ended in May ;)
I need to blog, but I just taught six shougakkou classes and I am too tired, sweaty and stinky to be bothered....tomorrow it is!
I need to blog, but I just taught six shougakkou classes and I am too tired, sweaty and stinky to be bothered....tomorrow it is!
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Addiction!
Dude, I am soooooooooooooooooooooo addicted to the US version of The Office right now, it is ridiculous! I watched the second season in like five days and I want more of it!!!! It is fucking HILARIOUS! I know some people are loyal to the BBC series and don’t want to give it a try, but I highly recommend it, it is soooooooo good! And Pam and Jim are SO CUTE!!!! Awwwwwww! SO GOOD, I need more crack!!!
Travel Dramarama
So Cindy and I are currently attempting to plan a trip to Taiwan, and it is becoming the biggest pain in the ass EVER! We wanted to go on a 3-day weekend in October so that it would take one less day of nenkyu, but apparently all of Japan is going that weekend, as I applied to like ten tours and they are all full. Since then we have changed our dates in order to FINALLY get a “Yes, we will take your money!” E-Mail from a travel agent….only to get an even worse reply. Last night I got a reply that said (in Japanese), “We’re sorry, but we don’t sell packages to Taiwan to foreigners.” UM!!!!!! Fucking racists Japanese cocksuckers!!!!! Not amusing! I think we should make up Japanese names and be like, “Gotcha, fuckers!” Dude, only in Japan could you actually get away with saying that. Do it the American way and give the minority person really bad service so they “choose” not to do business with you, don’t just flat-out say it! Fuckers!
Friday, September 08, 2006
Clazy 3nensei
My first two days back at school have reminded me that my kids are weird and funny! For 3nensei classes we did this writing practice where they answer the questions in the textbook. Here is the most amusing answer:
1. What would you like to do if you have enough time and money?
I want to go to heaven.
2. Why would you like to do that?
Because I want to die.
3. How long have you wanted to do that?
Since yesterday.
4. How will you feel when you do that?
I’ll be happy.
In the States that would be written by some scary goth person, but this was by a funny kid so it was okay!
And the answer that I most relate with is:
1. What would you like to do if you have enough time and money?
I want to eat until I am full.
2. Why would you like to do that?
Because eating is important.
Aww, a boy after my own heart! It is kinda sad what some of the kids would do with money, though. One person just wanted to go home so she could sleep? Hello, who doesn’t answer “travel around the world” to that question!
1. What would you like to do if you have enough time and money?
I want to go to heaven.
2. Why would you like to do that?
Because I want to die.
3. How long have you wanted to do that?
Since yesterday.
4. How will you feel when you do that?
I’ll be happy.
In the States that would be written by some scary goth person, but this was by a funny kid so it was okay!
And the answer that I most relate with is:
1. What would you like to do if you have enough time and money?
I want to eat until I am full.
2. Why would you like to do that?
Because eating is important.
Aww, a boy after my own heart! It is kinda sad what some of the kids would do with money, though. One person just wanted to go home so she could sleep? Hello, who doesn’t answer “travel around the world” to that question!
Thursday, September 07, 2006
From Oregon With Love
No, I am not a sentimental jackass, that is the title of a Japanese TV show (Oregon Kara Ai) from like 25 years ago that old people like to bring up when I say I am from there.
Anyway, highlights of my trip!
-So, I hate Northwest Airlines, but I have a shitload of miles on their alliance and it is the only direct flight from Narita to Portland, which makes it more than worth it. I REFUSE lay-overs because I am a bitch like that. So I was all happy to get to the States directly and stuff, but some motherfucking asshole decided to fuck it all up! About halfway through the flight a flight attendant asked if there was a doctor on board, which is never a good sign. It is even worse when they ask like ten times, as if a doctor will randomly appear out of the luggage hold or something. Might I mention that this is the second flight in a year in which they have asked that….I am cursed!
Anyway, this jackass got sick or some shit and we had to fucking stop in ALASKA to drop the bastard off! Normally I would be more sympathetic, but the bastard fucking WALKED off the plane!!! They were making a huge deal about it (they called the Neo Clinic (?) and the NWA center and stuff and no one knew what was wrong with him, so the flight was suggested to make an emergency landing. First of all, it was only supposed to take 30-40 minutes and it took nearly two hours! They sent in these huge firemen to help him out, so I was expecting them to carry the sick guy out….and he gets up and wanders off by himself! Um, if you are healthy enough to walk we are NOT stopping in fucking Alaska to drop you off, motherfucker! Then they had to search for his luggage because FAA makes you take your luggage off with you. THEN they brought on more food, refueled, and EMPTIED THE GARBAGE?!!!!! Um, just get me to Portland! On top of this, Alaska was 90 minutes out of the way, so it took for fucking ever to get home. Not amusing.
-I went to Eugene (where I went for uni) with Holly on Monday and it was so fun! Eugene is weird because when you live there you want to leave, and when you are gone you miss it! Strange, strange. We mainly went there to eat, and eat we did! I had Burrito Boy, the most amazing burrito place in the entire world! God, I missed the Boy. Holly watched me eat lunch there, then I watched her eat lunch at Glendwood. Hahaha. We missed our shit, yo! We went to my precious Eugene location of Trader Joe’s (no hot Kevin to be found, saaaaaaaaad!), where I was recognized by a worker, bad sign. Ah, TJ’s. Then we visited my old apartment and stuff and wandered around the U of O campus. Awww, it was nice to be back! Natsukashikatta!
After that we had an early happy hour and saw The Devil Wears Prada, which was really good! I recommend it, yo. Then we wandered a bit and had Ring of Fire, the best Thai restaurant in the world!!!!! MMMMMMMMMM. I had some rockin’ phad voon sen and then had their AMAZING tempura bananas with home-made coconut ice cream. Holly didn’t want any, so I ate the whole thing by myself! Hmm, I wonder how I got fat during the trip! FUCK, it was amazing. That was worth the $1200 flight right there!
-I caught up all kinds of movies! I watched Thank You for Smoking and…er…shit, I forget what on the plane. Something else I had wanted to see, I forget. Anyway, neither were amazing, sadly. I had high hopes for Thank You, but it wasn’t that great. Hrm. I also rented The Family Stone, Transamerica, and Spellbound. They were all fine but not amazing, either. I rented Capote but didn’t have time to watch it. Then Holly and I went to Quinceanera (yes, the n should have squiggly, Eduardo) and Little Miss Sunshine. Quinceanera is over-rated, in my opinion…it was fine, but also not amazing. LMS was funny, I liked it! Yay for catching up on stuff that will never come here!
-I got to see my little Samuel Clemens!!!!! (my dog, Sammy) She is soooooooooo cute, awwww, I missed her. She didn’t realize who I was for a minute, which is depressing, but she quickly remembered! Awwww, I want her here with me in Japan!!! She wouldn’t look at me on the day I left, she was pissed! I felt bad. Apparently she was pouting all day long, awwww! Little Samuel Clemens is clazy like that.
-Lots of shopping and eating were done! I have new clothes, TONS of products, and about 10 extra pounds on me! I also drank a shitload of alcohol and am currently making amends with my liver. He’s not talking to me right now, but I am sure he will cave in eventually.
-I went to Shanda’s wedding on the last Saturday, which was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fun. It was weird to see (chubby!) GHS alum, but I am so glad I went! Shanda looked AMAZING and their ceremony was sweet! And short! YAY to non-Catholic weddings!!!!!! Aww, I may have gotten a little misty-eyed. Afterwards we danced our asses off and I burned off at least one meal from the vacation :) Aww, it was soooooooooo fun!
I did lots more stuff, but I am too lazy to write about it. I am really glad I went, though. I didn’t realize how much I missed places and my friends and family until I went (and came back to Japan). It was surprising! But it was fun fun fun, yies yies yies.
Now I am back in the land of everything-being-too-short, no car for Jefu, work and muggy weather, bah! But it’s all good, except for the work and weather part. I don’t wanna teach again, I like summer vacation! Also, because I got used to Oregon weather I am seriously sweating my ASS off and looking really embarrassing. I am just covered in sweat and everyone else is fine. Oy.
Anyway, yeah, America=fun, but Japan=fun, too! The end.
Anyway, highlights of my trip!
-So, I hate Northwest Airlines, but I have a shitload of miles on their alliance and it is the only direct flight from Narita to Portland, which makes it more than worth it. I REFUSE lay-overs because I am a bitch like that. So I was all happy to get to the States directly and stuff, but some motherfucking asshole decided to fuck it all up! About halfway through the flight a flight attendant asked if there was a doctor on board, which is never a good sign. It is even worse when they ask like ten times, as if a doctor will randomly appear out of the luggage hold or something. Might I mention that this is the second flight in a year in which they have asked that….I am cursed!
Anyway, this jackass got sick or some shit and we had to fucking stop in ALASKA to drop the bastard off! Normally I would be more sympathetic, but the bastard fucking WALKED off the plane!!! They were making a huge deal about it (they called the Neo Clinic (?) and the NWA center and stuff and no one knew what was wrong with him, so the flight was suggested to make an emergency landing. First of all, it was only supposed to take 30-40 minutes and it took nearly two hours! They sent in these huge firemen to help him out, so I was expecting them to carry the sick guy out….and he gets up and wanders off by himself! Um, if you are healthy enough to walk we are NOT stopping in fucking Alaska to drop you off, motherfucker! Then they had to search for his luggage because FAA makes you take your luggage off with you. THEN they brought on more food, refueled, and EMPTIED THE GARBAGE?!!!!! Um, just get me to Portland! On top of this, Alaska was 90 minutes out of the way, so it took for fucking ever to get home. Not amusing.
-I went to Eugene (where I went for uni) with Holly on Monday and it was so fun! Eugene is weird because when you live there you want to leave, and when you are gone you miss it! Strange, strange. We mainly went there to eat, and eat we did! I had Burrito Boy, the most amazing burrito place in the entire world! God, I missed the Boy. Holly watched me eat lunch there, then I watched her eat lunch at Glendwood. Hahaha. We missed our shit, yo! We went to my precious Eugene location of Trader Joe’s (no hot Kevin to be found, saaaaaaaaad!), where I was recognized by a worker, bad sign. Ah, TJ’s. Then we visited my old apartment and stuff and wandered around the U of O campus. Awww, it was nice to be back! Natsukashikatta!
After that we had an early happy hour and saw The Devil Wears Prada, which was really good! I recommend it, yo. Then we wandered a bit and had Ring of Fire, the best Thai restaurant in the world!!!!! MMMMMMMMMM. I had some rockin’ phad voon sen and then had their AMAZING tempura bananas with home-made coconut ice cream. Holly didn’t want any, so I ate the whole thing by myself! Hmm, I wonder how I got fat during the trip! FUCK, it was amazing. That was worth the $1200 flight right there!
-I caught up all kinds of movies! I watched Thank You for Smoking and…er…shit, I forget what on the plane. Something else I had wanted to see, I forget. Anyway, neither were amazing, sadly. I had high hopes for Thank You, but it wasn’t that great. Hrm. I also rented The Family Stone, Transamerica, and Spellbound. They were all fine but not amazing, either. I rented Capote but didn’t have time to watch it. Then Holly and I went to Quinceanera (yes, the n should have squiggly, Eduardo) and Little Miss Sunshine. Quinceanera is over-rated, in my opinion…it was fine, but also not amazing. LMS was funny, I liked it! Yay for catching up on stuff that will never come here!
-I got to see my little Samuel Clemens!!!!! (my dog, Sammy) She is soooooooooo cute, awwww, I missed her. She didn’t realize who I was for a minute, which is depressing, but she quickly remembered! Awwww, I want her here with me in Japan!!! She wouldn’t look at me on the day I left, she was pissed! I felt bad. Apparently she was pouting all day long, awwww! Little Samuel Clemens is clazy like that.
-Lots of shopping and eating were done! I have new clothes, TONS of products, and about 10 extra pounds on me! I also drank a shitload of alcohol and am currently making amends with my liver. He’s not talking to me right now, but I am sure he will cave in eventually.
-I went to Shanda’s wedding on the last Saturday, which was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fun. It was weird to see (chubby!) GHS alum, but I am so glad I went! Shanda looked AMAZING and their ceremony was sweet! And short! YAY to non-Catholic weddings!!!!!! Aww, I may have gotten a little misty-eyed. Afterwards we danced our asses off and I burned off at least one meal from the vacation :) Aww, it was soooooooooo fun!
I did lots more stuff, but I am too lazy to write about it. I am really glad I went, though. I didn’t realize how much I missed places and my friends and family until I went (and came back to Japan). It was surprising! But it was fun fun fun, yies yies yies.
Now I am back in the land of everything-being-too-short, no car for Jefu, work and muggy weather, bah! But it’s all good, except for the work and weather part. I don’t wanna teach again, I like summer vacation! Also, because I got used to Oregon weather I am seriously sweating my ASS off and looking really embarrassing. I am just covered in sweat and everyone else is fine. Oy.
Anyway, yeah, America=fun, but Japan=fun, too! The end.
Do do do do America, do do do do America! Do do do do America, do do do do America!
Cant you tell from my subject that I am singing the song from West Side Story? Mmmmhmmmm. Anyway, I went back to the States for 10-ish days! I had a great time…..TONS of shopping, TONS of eating, and TONS of drinking! I gained approximately seven billion kilos over the course of ten days, and I am sure my liver is not amused with me, either, as I drank like 9 of the days! Bad news bears, but fun, so who cares!
Anyway, I will write about the trip later….I will just write random thoughts for now:
-Dude, I forgot what it felt like to live in a country that isn’t ridiculously humid!!! People were complaining about the heat and I was like, “you think this is hot?!” It was sooooooooooooo nice to not be sweating all of the time (and barely sweating at all ever!). However, I was a huge pussy when it came to the “cold,” as it got cool a couple of the nights and I was freezing my damn ass off!
-It wasn’t too weird to drive for the first time in 13 months, but I did have about five driving-on-the-left-side incidents. Fortunately most of them occurred when I was only the passenger!
-It is weird, because literally RIGHT when I get back to the States, I go back into American mode. The same thing happened last time I went back (after study abroad). Right when I get in the airport it feels like I haven’t spent however long in Japan and nothing is TOO strange and foreign. In fact, I had more reverse culture shock at Narita than in Oregon! But that was a pleasant surprise. Other than seriously staring at all of the faaaaaaaaaaaaaat people and freaking out about how tall everyone around me was, I didn’t have many issues.
-Because I was in American mode, it also didn’t seem like it had been 13 months since having good cheeses, good wine, prosciutto, cheap Mexican food, microbrews, gooooooood pizza, Thai food, good Chinese food, etc. Like, it was nice to have them, but it didn’t seem like I had been dreaming about them for 13 months (yes, I am a loser)! Strange.
-Service workers in the States aren’t as rude as I remember them, yo! I thought I would freak out that they didn’t have a Japanese way of service about them, but everyone was way nice! It was creepy! I did seem retarded half the time, though, because I don’t remember how to make stupid small talk and answer the random questions they ask at registers and stuff. I sounded like a foreign exchange student or something!
-Although I had English issues while there (dude, any optional vocab words have been completely erased from my mind), I didn’t have too many accidental Japanese moments! I nearly sumimasen-ed waiters for the first few days (the closest I came was opening my mouth to say it to an Asian-American waiter….sneaky non-Asian Asians! Hehehehe), but I did a lot better than I thought. However, a world without “abunai,” “deshou,” and “neeeeee!” is a world I don’t want to be a part of!
I am sure I have more shit to say, but this is boring so I will end it!
Anyway, I will write about the trip later….I will just write random thoughts for now:
-Dude, I forgot what it felt like to live in a country that isn’t ridiculously humid!!! People were complaining about the heat and I was like, “you think this is hot?!” It was sooooooooooooo nice to not be sweating all of the time (and barely sweating at all ever!). However, I was a huge pussy when it came to the “cold,” as it got cool a couple of the nights and I was freezing my damn ass off!
-It wasn’t too weird to drive for the first time in 13 months, but I did have about five driving-on-the-left-side incidents. Fortunately most of them occurred when I was only the passenger!
-It is weird, because literally RIGHT when I get back to the States, I go back into American mode. The same thing happened last time I went back (after study abroad). Right when I get in the airport it feels like I haven’t spent however long in Japan and nothing is TOO strange and foreign. In fact, I had more reverse culture shock at Narita than in Oregon! But that was a pleasant surprise. Other than seriously staring at all of the faaaaaaaaaaaaaat people and freaking out about how tall everyone around me was, I didn’t have many issues.
-Because I was in American mode, it also didn’t seem like it had been 13 months since having good cheeses, good wine, prosciutto, cheap Mexican food, microbrews, gooooooood pizza, Thai food, good Chinese food, etc. Like, it was nice to have them, but it didn’t seem like I had been dreaming about them for 13 months (yes, I am a loser)! Strange.
-Service workers in the States aren’t as rude as I remember them, yo! I thought I would freak out that they didn’t have a Japanese way of service about them, but everyone was way nice! It was creepy! I did seem retarded half the time, though, because I don’t remember how to make stupid small talk and answer the random questions they ask at registers and stuff. I sounded like a foreign exchange student or something!
-Although I had English issues while there (dude, any optional vocab words have been completely erased from my mind), I didn’t have too many accidental Japanese moments! I nearly sumimasen-ed waiters for the first few days (the closest I came was opening my mouth to say it to an Asian-American waiter….sneaky non-Asian Asians! Hehehehe), but I did a lot better than I thought. However, a world without “abunai,” “deshou,” and “neeeeee!” is a world I don’t want to be a part of!
I am sure I have more shit to say, but this is boring so I will end it!
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