The month of musicals has started!

On Saturday Ann and I saw Tick Tick Boom (by Jonathan Larson, who wrote Rent) and it was goooooooood! I wasn’t sure how it would be in Japanese, but I enjoyed it more than I expected! They added stuff to the script to explain things that wouldn’t translate (for example, the origins of Twinkies, hahaha) and expanded a few things, which I normally wouldn’t agree with, but it actually worked! The actor who played Jonathan was Mark in the Japanese cast of Rent, and has done TONS of other big shows, and it showed! He was good. We had some failed J-Pop star as Susan, and she was a total diva, but could actually sing (in a J-Pop sort of way) and was better than I expected. The guy who played Michael was an American, and it was weird, because they had him speak in half English and half Japanese? I am not sure why, exactly, but whatever, it worked for the most part. Anyway, I am glad that I finally saw the show live (I had only seen boots), and it was nice to see a musical for the first time in too long! Fortunately I am making up for it this month by seeing Rent twice! YAY, Jonathan Larson month!

I hate Japan for being advertising whores and giving you 300 ads for coming shows when you see one! They gave us a SHITLOAD at TTB and it made me spend money, just like it did at Movin’ Out (that is how I found out about TTB in the first place). Anyway, a big production of Sweeney Todd is being done in January! I normally would refuse to see translated Sondheim, but it has a bunch of famous people in it and is being directed by a famous director and looks fucking FREAKY AS SHIT, so Ann and I decided to splurge and get tickets to it. It is almost completely sold out, so we are gonna have to haul ass after school on a Friday to make it, but hopefully it is worth it. Sadly we are in the last row, sigh. Damn Japan for not letting you choose tickets! That doesn’t work for musical whores/snobs like me!

3-Day Weekendo!

The fall is awesome because we have hella holidays going on up in hea, yo! Friday was Culture Day (HELLO, Culture Day is totally my favorite holiday!!!), so we got the day off, which was much-needed, as I am sick of worko! Cindy and I were going to be all nature-y and go to Oze, which is on the northern border of Gunma and is supposed to be all pretty and stuff. We were like, “We are sick of doing city stuff all the time, let’s go to something nature-y!” Then we found out it is cold up there and everything is probably dead already, so of course our next choice was to be SO nature-y and go to Tokyo instead. Hahaha. It was fun, though!

So I am sick of Tokyo because I always go to the same places and it isn’t exciting anymore. However, we decided to be spontaneous and try out new places and it was different and fun, woot! One of the most surprising finds was Shinbashi. We were only walking around there to switch train lines, but we found all kinds of cool places, mainly food, of course. They have a BAZILION yummy-looking restaurants there, abunaiiiiiii! They also have a fucking AWESOME Anpanman store there, yo! Anpanman fucking rocks! I got new toys for my desk and a Shokupanman hook-y thing for my keitai, too. Sweeto!

We randomly went to Subway, as they had these yummy-looking toasted wraps that were fucking GOOD! They were like fake burritos or something, they were awesome! I wish we had Subway in Gunma, hrm.

Anyway, after Shinbashi we went to Odaiba, which is one of the more famous places in Tokyo that I hadn’t been to. I am glad I went, but I don’t really see what the big deal is. We went to this shopping area that was a TOTAL fucking rip-off of the Parisian or whatever you call it in Vegas. It would be cool if they didn’t just copy the damn place! Oh, well.

After Odaiba we went to Naka-Meguro, which is a place that Cindy’s friend recommended. It is cool in that it has lots of little shops, but we were expecting something else and totally weren’t in the mood to shop, so it was kinda wasted on us. However, it TOTALLY redeemed itself when we found a motherfucking TACOS STAND there! Holy shit! They were cheap (well, for Japan) and were fucking good!!! The pork and guac taco tasted like the ones Eduardo and I would get at the Mexican store in Eugene! Holy shit, that shit was good. The guy like lives above it and stuff and I want to be his best friend, just because you know he is cool with shit like that! And they had Corona. I want to live there!

For dinner we made our way over to our favorite Indian restaurant in the world in Harajuku. It is seriously SO good and it is so reasonable! I fucking love that shit. We also made up for eating a lot by walking from Harajuku to Shibuya! Of course it isn’t that far, but it SOUNDS far! Haha.

I had to be in Tokyo the next day anyway, and Cindy didn’t want to worry about last trains back, so we checked another thing off our list by staying in a love hotel for the night!!! YAY! So for those who don’t know, love hotels are HUGE in Japan. We decided Japan is the only country that could have them and not be sketchy. They are hotel rooms that you can rent either for a few hours, or for the night. They are basically for having sex in. However, it isn’t TOO gross, I swear! One of the main reasons they exist is because people in Japan (for the most part) live with their parents until they get married, so they need somewhere else to have sex. A lot of husbands and wives also live in small apartments where they have no privacy, so it is also used for that reason. Of course, it is also used for affairs, too, but whatever.

Anyway, if these were in the States they would be dirty and disgusting. However, in Japan they are clean and a lot of them are cute! Some of them are themed rooms, and you know we had to shop around for the right one! It is awesome because in Shibuya they have TONS and TONS of love hotels, so you can literally shop for the perfect room. You just go in the lobby (where you don’t see the worker at the counter, you just see their hands, for privacy, haha) and there is a lit-up menu with pictures of each room that is available. If you like one of the rooms, you hit the button, then pay the lady (or her hands, rather) and get the key. If you don’t see one you like, you just go to the next hotel. Cindy and I went into at least 20-30 hotels before finding the right room! Yes, good ol’ Star Crescent had the room for us! It was a city-themed room and it fucking rocked! In normal light it looked like a normal room, but when you turn on the black lights all of the walls have like the city painted on it and shit! It was fucking awesome, yo. It was also nice, in that it came with a DVD player (we are probably the first guests to not watch porn, but to watch The American President, hahaha), a pretty big TV, satellite radio (I think, it had a million channels!), a huge shower area, etc! And it was cheaper than most hotels in Tokyo! Fuck, yeah, I am staying in love hotels from now on! We had to enjoy it to the fullest, so we left the music AND black lights on while we slept, hehe. Oh, by the way, we didn’t have sex ;) Haha.

Anyway, we totally have to go back to the Star Crescent at some point, as there were more vacancies when we checked out, and they had a damn beach-themed room with like the ocean on the wall! That is totally what we wanted in the first place! We are SO going back!

Ayashiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

One of the most annoying parts of Japanese school culture to me is that random-ass peeps just come to our school to sell stuff and everyone has to be nice to them (well, for the most part) and host them and be like "Yes, you can sell random shit here, have some green tea!!!" I really don’t get it at all and it annoys me and I ignore the bitches (of course they ignore me too since I am a whitey). The only time I have ever listened to any of them is when a guy came during the summer trying to sell a $2,000 water filter (okay, first of all who cares that much about healthy water, and second of all, why would you be like "Let’s go school-to-school and sell these!!!") because he bought us bentos. Hell, yeah!

Anyway, today marks the sketchiest people so far, as they came in during lunch and set up shop in the back, making everyone clean their kyushoku trays in the hall instead of at the tables that they took over. Anyway, they put this crappy green blanket on top of the table and bust out all of these random-ass ties and shitty t-shirts? Everyone is ignoring the t-shirts, but the teachers are going fucking CRAZY over the ties! There were about ten guy teachers crowding over them all, buying them like mofos! Talk about disposable income, I think I am gonna bring all of the stuff I don’t want in my apartment and sell it in the back of the fucking staffroom, yo!

Anyway, in a country that are total bitches when it comes to sketchy countries like China and stuff, how can they think this is normal and be like “Oh my GOD, give me some of these ties!!!” These people are clazy, yo.

Fucked-up Shit

Dude, I kid around that I work at a ghetto school, but today really proved that it is GHETTO, yo. So I was going to my last class of the day, 3-5, which is a good class except that it has Yoshiki, the worst 3nensei student. He has ADHD and thinks he is hot shit and thinks he owns the school, and the teachers pretty much let him do so, as he always leaves class, runs around, yells, etc. He has been much better this year than last year, as he pretty much just leaves class instead of kicking desks and shit like that while I am teaching. I don't give a shit if he isn’t there, as he wont study anyway.

Anyway, today I am walking to 3-5 and I see Ms. Kimura, my 3nensei JTE, walking ahead of me. All of a sudden Yoshiki comes running really fast past me, laughing and running away from someone, and he pushes Ms. Kimura out of the way so he can hide in a corner thing. However, he accidentally fucking pushed her head-first into the wall! Not just the wall, but like...how do you say? Like the corner? Like. Er. A corner sticking out, not one going in. I don't know English! Anyway, she went head-first into the corner of the wall and all of a sudden she was on the ground and wouldn’t move. It was fucking scary!!! Teachers came and tried to help her up, but she wasn’t moving. So I ran to the nurse's room and got the nurse and ran upstairs with the stretcher to put Ms. Kimura on, and the teachers had to lift her up and put her on there, then she disappeared to the health room! She is still there, recovering, but I think she is okay? The teachers keep saying something about anemia, which makes no sense to me...I don't know if it is the cover story, or what the hell anemia has to do with anything, but yeah. It was FUCKED UP and scary, yo! I taught the class by myself and it was weird to pretend things were normal. FREAKY!!!!

What's even worse is that today was the big day when the BOE people come to observe classes and stuff, so two of them saw the whole thing! I am sure that reflects well on Yabuchu!!!

Teachers aren't as busy as you think!

It always amuses me that Japanese teachers are really busy and stay late and everything, but that they still find time to play at work. I mean, I guess they have to, or they would go muy loco, but it always surprises me. Usually they just waste hours in the shokuinshitsu by gossiping about students, but today the entertainment in the 3nensei group was to check who of us can drink! It was the most Japanese thing ever. So we all got band-aids with rubbing alcohol on them, and we had to put them on the inside of our elbow (is that what you call it?) for seven minutes. Then you take the band-aid off and wait ten minutes, and if it is red it means you are...weak to alcohol. How do you say? Um. A lightweight! Yes. Or that you shouldn't drink. Anyway, none of us were red, so either it doesn’t work or we are all alcoholics, I am not sure which! It was fun, though. Clazy Senseis.

Oy

Today I was asked the following two questions by two 3nensei students:

-How do you spell "hello?"

-What is the difference between "what" and "why?"

Um, these kids have been studying English for THREE years!!!!! Not a good sign......

Sex and AIDS Education in Japan

The Japan Times has an interesting article about the lack of AIDS and sex education in Japan. It is really disturbing that lots of Japanese men don't use condoms....yet another one of those "We are Japanese, so we are invincible" cases that I still don't understand whatsoever.

Sex and AIDS Education in Japan

The Japan Times has an interesting article about the lack of AIDS and sex education in Japan. It is really disturbing that lots of Japanese men don't use condoms....yet another one of those "We are Japanese, so we are invincible" cases that I still don't understand whatsoever.

Random thoughts on Taiwan

K, so I already babbled like a mofo about what I did in Taiwan, but many people (including myself before I went) don’t know much about Taiwan, so sit down and let me tell you the tale of a land called Taiwan! Or something. Anyway, here are random thoughts I had about the place, people, etc.:

-Because of geographical reasons, there are NOT many whities in Taiwan whatsoever, and most of the tourists were Japanese. Because of this I got TONS of stares for being a big tall honky. However, I didn’t notice as much as Cindy did, I guess because I am used to it from Japan! But they were innocent stares, not like “Get out of here, big –nosed demon!” stares. I did scare some children, though, which was sad.

-Poor Cindy! It sucks to be Asian in Asia, as everyone assumed she was either Chinese or Japanese or something. Because of this, and due to our height differences, I looked like a big weirdo talking to myself in English on the streets, sad! Then again, it probably looks like that in Japan!

-Taiwanese people LOVE TO EAT! Like, they are never not eating. Japanese people never walk and eat, but Taiwanese people ALWAYS do! I dunno how they are not the size of their country!

-There are conbinis and banks EVERYWHERE in Taiwan! I think there is one for every person, at least!

-I have decided that Taiwan is half Japan and half China. I expected it to be all China, and was pleasantly surprised that the people were nice and weren’t yelling at us all the time or anything. It is dirtier than Japan and obviously has more Chinese-related food, but the people are more Japanese in that they aren’t scary. Haha. They were really nice, friendly, helpful and relaxed. I sound like the Taipei Chamber of Commerce, but it’s true! They had a bit of an island-people feel about them, in that they didn’t seem to really care or worry too much about anything. It was nice!

-The weather was great! It was hot during the day but not too hot, and the nights were just perfect. Me rikey (tho summer is probably scary hot).

-They enjoy their coffee more than Japanese people! Japan doesn’t have nearly enough coffee shops, and Taiwan has lots…I miss sitting in coffee shops, bah!

-Taiwan is way family-oriented. People would always be out with their families, and it was really cute/nice to see that. In Japan most kids (like Jr. high school and higher) are always out with their friends, but we didn’t see much of that in Taiwan. In fact, we didn’t see that many teenagers, I think they are hidden somewhere!

-Chinese in Taiwan isn’t scary and ugly like I expected it to be! I am not ready for mainland China Chinese!

-Um, I think every person and pet owns a fucking scooter in Taipei. It was CRAZY. You have no idea!!!! Unfortunately they assume they are safe on them and like have their babies and shit on them?! I saw one parent with a baby on the back and a baby in the front while scooter-ing! NOT SAFE!

-Taiwanese people apparently love carnivals, as there are like carnival booths and games everywhere?! I don’t get it.

-I don’t know how people in Taiwan produce, as they all appear to be gay or lesbian! Haha, well not really, but there are lots of lesbian-y girls and lots of gay-ish guys, yo! Way moreso than here, and I didn’t think that was possible!

-Cindy said this on her blog, too, but both Taipei and Taiwanese people don’t have a definable image. We spent four days ALL over the city and we couldn’t find a skyline or certain image that seemed to define Taipei. Likewise, Taiwanese people all look way different and don’t look like they are from the same genepool or whatever like Japanese, etc. people do! It was weird, I couldn’t tell who was Taiwanese and who was a tourist!

And yes, those are my random-ass thoughts on Taiwan! GO THERE!

Shopping and eating in another country! (Last part, I swear)

Our last full day in Taipei was pretty similar to our first day, so I will just go through it quickly! Well, as quickly as wordy Jeff can!

We started off the day with more Din Tai Feng...MMMMMMM! IT WAS SO GOOD! I don’t think they liked us much, though, as we took our time eating, and they are all about the speed there. They sort of kicked us out in the end, but I still love them! We then realized we were poor as fuck and needed to get more money exchanged...an easy enough thing, when there are like HUNDREDS of banks on one block in Taipei. However, we were retarded and left our passports in our hotel room. Thankfully the bank lady liked us and was able to take our gaijin cards, since they have our passport numbers on them. Yay racist Japanese people needing to identify us wide-eyed criminals!

After that we went to a temple (good tourists!), and it was actually interesting, even tho I am SICK of temples. They are different than Japanese and Korean ones, and have really amazing detailed work in their carvings/sculptures, etc. It was purty. We then went to another mall and saw The Departed, since it wont come to Japan for a million years. It was good! Infernal Affairs was better, but it was a good movie, and I actually thought Leonardo DiCaprio was good in it, even tho I hate him? Hmm, weird. We then were bigger losers and spent like 45 minutes in a Taiwanese grocery store getting food to bring back home! It was really quite sad, but at least we have foreign food now. Sad, we are LOSERS.

After that we did some more shopping, including a GHETTO Kiehl’s experience (sad, Kiehl’s cant be ghetto, I love it too much!!!), got some more late-night dim sum, then went back to the Shi Lin market for some wandering and dessert. We had the MOST amazing kakigori (shaved ice) EVER!!!!!! It was mango shaved ice, but the ice was actually made of mango milk rather than just water. SO GOOD!!!!!!! Sigh, I want more.

The next day we got harassed some more by the scary Japanese-speaking tour guide, bought some last-minute shit, and left Taipei to go back to boring Japan and boring school! SAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!

And yeah, that is our food-filled trip! Hmm, this summary was really boring, sorry! I actually have thoughts on the people/culture/etc, so I will post those later, as maybe they will actually be more interesting. Maybe ;)

Shopping and eating in another country! (Part Two)

So Sunday was our first full day in Taiwan, and we seriously went ALL OVER Taipei. Cindy and I are now the causes of global warming, as we took cabs everywhere! Taipei is really really big and spread out, so no matter where you go you are never near the next place? I don’t really get how that works, but yeah, every cab ride was really long. Sigh. Oh, well, we have ridden bikes for the last year, we can add some pollution once in a while (the excuse for driving for the rest of my life)!

So yeah, in the morning we went to Din Tai Fung, a famous restaurant chain in Taipei that is known for their steamed dumplings. Um, let me say that this place is AMAZING and you all need to go RIGHT NOW! It was sooooooooooooooo good. Everything they make is just fucking amazing. We were smart and went right when they opened, as when we left there was a HUGE mob waiting to get in (I am not even exaggerating!). God, it was good. I of course took pictures of the food (loser), so I will upload them eventually, but you can check out their website here if you want to.

After that we decided to be good tourists and went to the famous National Palace Museum. It was a really nice-looking museum and everything, but all of the stuff IN the museum was the same! Like, you can only see so many dishes and vases and stuff. I like museums just fine, but I prefer paintings and stuff, and the museum just didn’t have enough varied stuff for my taste. But oh, well, at least it was something other than shopping and eating! After that we went to Wufenpu, a garment market, that was far too trashy for both of us, so we quickly got the hell outta there. We are NOT market people!

We then cabbed it to Ximenting, a real shopping area, that looked EXACTLY like a shopping area we went to in Seoul! Like, seriously, it felt like we were in Korea. It was nice, though, and I got a Puma bag, yay. And we had a yummy kakigori dessert and AMAZING noodles! We were being all local-y, as a buncha Taiwanese people were waiting in line for them, so we decided we had to, too. Mmm, they were good.

That evening we made our way over to Taipei 101, the tallest building in the world. It is seriously the tallest building in the world for no reason whatsoever. Like, I highly doubt Taipei NEEDS a building that tall...ut at least it is well-designed! And it has THE FASTEST ELEVATOR EVER!!!!! We went up 80 stories in 30 seconds! It was CRAZY!!!!!

We did a bit more shopping after Taipei 101, then made our way to a restaurant for Jeff’s first dim sum experience! It was yummy, but the restaurant was like EMPTY except for three tables, and it was eerily quiet, yo. Like, way too quiet. But it was good! Yay, dim sum! Looking back, it might not have been a good idea to have a huge-ass dinner at 10 PM, but oh well. It was a good day! To be continued...

Shopping and eating in another country! (Part One)

So the big adventure of the month is that Cindy and I Chinese-d it up in Taiwan (specifically Taipei) from Saturday ‘til Tuesday. It was goooooooooooood times, yo! We didn’t even know what the hell we would do there until a few days before we left, but it was way better than I expected it to be (not that I expected it to be crappy or anything) and I highly recommend going there! Good shopping and eating, good people, good times, good trip, yo!

Shinders and I made our way to Narita on Saturday and we left that afternoon. We went knowing we would be losers and see a movie while we were in Taiwan, but had to choose between The Devil Wears Prada (I fucking love that movie!) and The Departed. Well, Cathay Pacific made that choice easy for us, as we got to watch Prada on the plane! Woot! Anyway, the flight went way fast thanks to the movie. So we got to Taiwan and found the airport to be ghettoooooooooooo! Not a good first impression at all! We also got ripped off on the yen exchange, which was not cool. So we booked the (cheap-ass) trip through a (cheap-ass) tour, which means they would pick us up from the airport and take us to our hotel. We did the same in Korea, but this one was totally different! We had this fucking crazy-ass Taiwanese lady who was like the most Chinese lady ever! That is not a good thing when it means she has to deal with Japanese tourists (and us) and try to be all formal and Japanese-like! She was formal for like three seconds and then started using informal speech, sat down and didn’t look at us while giving the tour on the bus (a big no-no) and was just fucking crazy and NOT Japanese! It was amusing but weird! Like, you cant learn a language and not learn the culture, yo!

Anyway, after getting taken to like 300 hotels before ours (not amused!), Cindy and I finally got to the Santos Hotel, which was really damn nice!!! I was impressed. Plus it was right next to two conbinis, how could you complain?! Of course, in Taiwan EVERYWHERE is next to two conbinis, it is CRAZY! There are like 300 times more conbinis than in Japan, which I didn’t think was possible.

That night we went to the Shi Lin night market, which is the biggest night market in Taipei. It is BIG and was crazy crowded! We soon discovered that Taiwanese people NEVER sleep and NEVER stop eating! Seriously, if Cindy and I were amazed at their eating ability, something is SERIOUSLY wrong with them! We honestly got full just watching them eat. Of course, that didn’t stop us from eating, ourselves! We were sadly the most wasteful people ever in Taiwan, as we just wanted to try bites of everything, so we would try things and throw away stuff we didn’t need. Whoops! So yeah, we devoured all kinds of food that night while we wandered around the crazy-crowded market. For some reason we went to countless markets, even though we soon discovered we hate shopping at markets. The thing one does in the (pointless) search for bootleg DVDs! I did get a couple of cheap legal DVDs, though, which is good enough for me!

That night we went to bed hella late (2 AM, what am I, a college student?! Hehe) and slept a bit before discovering the greatest restaurant in the world the next morning! What is this mysterious amazing restaurant? You will have to wait to find out, muahahaha.

Nalgenes don't translate into Japanese

Like many gaijin, I get a million questions from confused Japanese people when they see my Nalgene bottle full of water. The most common question is, “What's in that?” Hmm, let's see, a large amount of a clear liquid...it is OBVIOUSLY vodka! I mean, what the fuck would it be other than water at work, seriously!

Anyway, a question I have been getting a lot lately from students (after I explain that it's water) is, “Oh, do you only drink water from America?” Now, this is an acceptable question from shougakkou kids, as many of them think that I fly to work from America every day. However, what kind of retarded chuugakkou kid would ask that?! Many of them, apparently! How would I even get American water? “Mom, please mail me 100 gallons of water from America, I REFUSE to drink Japanese water for the two years that I am here!” I guess maybe they could assume it is bottled water from the store, but most of that comes from Japan, too. I don't get it!

Of course, maybe it is best to not question the odd logic found here. This IS a country where I get asked, “Oh, can you eat fish? You can?! YOU ARE SO JAPANESE!,” as if fish are some rare animal found only in the Sea of Japan. It is also amazing to them that I can use chopsticks, despite living here for over a year (I usually don't even bother explaining that I use them in the States, too). I think Japanese people have a great amount of pride regarding their food, culture and everything else, but assume that for some reason no foreigner would ever appreciate it, or even like it. Is that because they think we just wouldn't “get” it? Or is it something else entirely? I have no idea.

Anyway, I am babbling, but if anyone knows that answer or has a theory, let me know!

Escape from Gunma!

So for the first time in far too long, Cindy and I escaped from Gunma’s grasp on Saturday! We were feeling muy restless and decided to either go to Yokohama or Omiya….we were too lazy and impatient to be on a train for 2 1/2 hours, so we decided on Omiya, and it was a VERY good choice! Omiya is the biggest city in Saitama, the prefecture between Gunma and Tokyo...it is kind of like a mini-Tokyo, sorta. Well, much more Tokyo than any cities in Gunma, hehe.

Anyway, so we get to Omiya, not knowing what to expect (I had been there once, but six years ago and I didn’t really do anything then), and we discover that Omiya has the MOST AMAZING EKI (train station) IN THE WORLD! Like, seriously, you don’t even need to leave the eki! There are like 5 million AMAZING bakeries in one eki! Hello, this place is obviously meant for Cindy and I. On top of that, they have REAL pastries, REAL bread, REAL sandwiches, etc! Then there are like yummy-looking restaurants and shit, too! HELLO!

Anyway, after buying far too many pastries, we leave the eki and find out that Omiya has a Disney Store! We are officially Japanese, as I would totally ignore the Disney Store in the States, but we practically ran to it here! Hahaha. I bought a Stitch toy for my desk, another Stitch strap for my keitai and a STITCH STUFFED ANIMAL! He’s so cute! Yes, I am gay. BUT I decided that I need a boyfriend to hug until my boyo comes here, so Stitch is my boyfriend until March. Wow, this is the most depressing post ever. Anyway!

Oh, also, when I was buying Stitch, the lady at the register was like, “Is this a present?” (to wrap it) and I was like “Um...no...” and she laughed! SAD! Hahahaha.

Anyway, we spent the rest of the day wandering around Omiya. I must say any food addicts MUST go there, as there is a bakery every five feet.

Before we headed back to Gunma, we of course had to raid the bakeries even more. I bought bagels (!!!) to freeze for later, some bread for our dinner the next night, etc.

Wow, this post is really sad, but it was a fun day, god dammit! AND we got great ingredients so that we could make a YUMMY dinner (together) on Sunday night! So yes, it was a good escape from Gunma AND a good way to get fat fat fat!

Here are some pics of my purchases:


Oh, you have no idea how much joy the sight of bagels gives me....mmm...


Bread that ISN'T white?! Unheard of!


Asian-ing my keitai up with some strap action.


For my desk at work, yo.


Stitch!


Sad, he doesn't look very happy to be with me....

God damn you, inaka!

So lately I have been bored to death of living by myself and wishing Eduardo could be here living with me........well, apparently Mother Nature heard of my need for a roommate, as she has sent at least two SCARY-ASS MUKADE to my house in the last three days! Let me tell you, these are NOT acceptable forms of roommates and I do not want any more of them in my apartment, god dammit! One was like half of the size of the other one, so there had better not be some freaky-ass mukade family living in my bed or some shit. Bastards!!!!

For those of you who don't know what mukade are, go ahead and poop your pants while looking at this link (mine were smaller than most of those, but not SMALL by any means!). BAH!

Signs I have been in Japan for too long

-I clap as a way to show my joy or amusement towards anything.

-I was singing to a song the other day and said “rife” instead of “life.” Ruh-roh!

-When a student who has studied English for three years is able to randomly ask me “What are you doing?” in English, I am both extremely impressed and assume that she goes to juku (cram school) for more English help.

-I instantly understand the meaning of the written sentence, “He likes makubonalubo.” (“He likes McDonald’s.”)

Great Undoukai, BAD Enkai!

Friday was Yabuzuka Chuugakkou’s undoukai (sports festival), which is a huge day for the kids and their parents. The kids have been practicing for the various events for a month, and a lot of their parents come to watch their kids race, jump rope, and do other crazy events.

It was a big day for me, as well, as it was my first chuugakkou undoukai! I have been to three shougakkou undoukais and I went to Toyama Minami High School’s a million years ago, but I had to miss Yabuchu’s last year because of a stupid ALT conference. Well, I skipped it this year so I could see the undoukai, and I am VERY glad I did! It was definitely a highlight of my being here.

It is amazing to see how hard the kids work for this! The closest thing you would get to an undoukai in the States would be field day, but that is just for fun and not nearly as much work/organization, etc. Each class within a grade has their own color (with they wear as headbands, use for pom poms, etc.) and they compete with the other classes. The events include races, crazy-ass jump rope events (one that I can’t describe which is crazy, and one in which all 30something kids in each class have to jump together with one huge jump rope), bukatsu competitions (this one is pretty much just for fun…the kids have to race in their sports uniforms. Needless to say, it SUCKS to be a kendo player during this!), and all kinds of other things. The craziest one by far was seriously the most random relay I have ever seen. First one person from each class takes an envelope that has a list of random items in it. They take those items from a pile of random shit, then run to the next part, where a team member spins around a cone 10-20 times (I dunno how many), then runs to the next part, where two kids have to pull a team member on a tire for 50 meters (this sounds harder than it is!). Then the next three kids in the group do a 3-legged race to the end. It was crazy!

Anyway, the whole day was sooooo fun. I just hung out with the kids and cheered with them. It was so amazing to see them cheer for everyone, whether they were in their class or not. They were all really supportive of each other and working their asses off. It actually made me really proud of them, and it showed that they aren’t bad kids after all. So yeah, sugoku kandou shimashita!

That night about half of the teachers went out for an enkai (drinking party), which was extremely fun at the time but BAD NEWS BEARS IN THE END!!!!! Holie!!! At first it was quiet and awkward, as they always are, but after a few beers everyone got genki and rowdy. I fortunately got to hang out with the two youngest teachers, who are muy cool. However, we kept pouring each other beers OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER, as you do at enkais, and it was baaaaaaaaad! I have a feeling I said some stupid-ass shit, but I don’t really remember all of it to be sure! Um, that is scary! After that we went to Shirokiya for the nijikai (2nd party), where I had 3 cocktails that I did NOT need. I am pretty sure I DEFINITELY said stupid stuff there. It is scary, tho, because what happens at an enkai stays at an enkai, so they might know shit and never say it! I guess that is good, but still scary. Anyway, I am getting ahead of myself. Anyway, at Shirokiya, my kouchou sensei busted out this breathalyzer thing that he has? First of all, that is hilarious that he keeps one in his pocket. Second of all, I tested myself, and I SWEAR to god it said 5.0. Um, doesn’t that mean I should be dead?! Surely that can’t be right. Tho I wouldn’t be surprised!

After surely embarrassing myself in ways I don’t remember, I caught the last train back home and promptly ASSED OUT on it. I woke up at what I thought was my stop, but turned out to be the stop AFTER mine! Being that I was shit-faced beyond belief, I wasn’t even surprised, I was just like “Oh, of course!” and started the 30-minute drunk-ass walk back to Yabuzuka eki. Fortunately thanks to my “flat love rate” with Cindy, I was able to have her entertain me via free keitai!

I eventually got back to the eki, drunk-rode my bike home, assed out in my chair in front of the computer, then woke up two hours later and puked my guts out. AWESOME.

Needless to say, the next day was BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD! BAD BAD BAD. I wanted to die. Somehow I made it to Shibukawa in the afternoon, but there were points that I just wanted to end my life. DAMN YOU ENKAIS

Pictures update, yo

I put up some new pics on my photos site....undoukai and other stuff. Go check out my cute kids :)

ALTs aren’t supposed to be busy!

So this week has been busy at work, wtf?! I was informed like a month ago that I had to give a presentation at the Isesaki Education Center about shougakkou lessons. In fact, the AMAZING title of my lecture (given to me) was, “Useful English Expressions in English Conversation Activities at Elementary Schools.” Yeah, I dunno what that is supposed to mean, either. Some high-up person in the education system in Gunma picked me for it, not because of my amazing teaching abilities (hehe), but because the presentation had to be in Japanese and they somehow knew I could speak?! Bah!

Anyway, I knew a month ago, but of course I waited until Tuesday to actually plan the lecture and make all of the materials for it...meaning that I worked on it the entire work day AND had to stay 2 1/2 hours late! NOT FUN! I made 28 15-page packets, and didn’t realize how that is a HUGE pain in the ass to put together in Japan, the country of not-friendly copy machines (I had to make each page separately, then put them together in a one-man assembly line. Fun times).

So yeah, yesterday was the presentation and it went okay. Donald, another ALT, was in charge of the 2-hour “let’s learn games for shougakkou class” time, and his was really good and of course fun, because it was games. Then came time for my 1-hour presentation, and it was all boring and shit, because I had to talk about what phrases are useful and what aren’t. Yes, that is TERRIBLY exciting. Anyway, I was all worried that it would not be ANYWHERE near an hour, even with group discussion time, but it lasted an hour and would have lasted longer if I hadn’t cut it off?! I don’t know how that worked out. I was talking a mile a minute and I have NOOOOO clue what I said, but hopefully it made sense and wasn’t TOO boring...I have my doubts! Hehe.

In the end it was all okay, as Cindy and I finally got to try the Vietnamese restaurant in Isesaki! It was yummy...a beer and Vietnamese is always a good way to finish a stressful day, yo!

There goes my mission to avoid Japanese doctors...

I was hoping to go the whole two years in Japan without seeing a scary Japanese doctor, but I had to break down and go to a doctor on Monday, sad! Oh, well, I made it a year, at least.

Anyway, the good news is that Dr. Sakamoto kicks fucking ass because he is totally fluent in English! In fact, his English is better than mine! He kept saying all these medical words as if I had a fucking clue what he was talking about, and I was just like “Oh, yeah, mmmhmm!” He lived in Baltimore before, which is good, because that actually knows what he is doing! Tons of Japanese doctors are like, “I don’t know what you have, so here are some antibiotics!” Er, no thank you. The big question is, what the fuck is an English-fluent doctor doing working in Yabuzuka? Sad!

Japanese doctor offices are weird and depressing, though. First of all it was me and like 10 60 year-olds. Second of all, they send you all over the damn place! They don’t do the American style of sending you from the waiting room, to waiting in the medical room. They transfer you from the waiting room to another room where you do something, then back to the waiting room, then to another room where you do something, then back to the waiting room, then back to one of the previous rooms, etc. It is a lot of moving, yo! It took forever, but oh, well.

Anyway, I had some intestinal thing and the doctor was like, “Don’t eat greasy food, spicy food, or cheese.” Um, FUCK THAT ADVICE!!!!!!!! That is like the worst advice you could ever give me!!!!!! So I think that the whole thing happened because the States poisoned me! How sad is that! My body wasn’t used to all that fatty nasty food, then last weekend I had both Chinese food AND pizza with Tabasco all over it, and I nearly died (I am not dramatic or anything). So yeah...I am still gonna eat that shit, so fuck you, medical institution! Hehehehe.

Land of the an ugly-ass language, here I come! (part 2 of 3)

So I hope I get used to the nastiness known as Mandarin in Taiwan, because Cindy and I booked our China tickets yesterday! It feels like we are actually going there now that we have our tickets. Woot. Plus Northwest somehow had the most amazing deal ever…..a multi-city ticket during winter break was only $566?! I don’t know how that is possible, but whatever! Plus it pushes me to just over 60,000 miles on my frequent flier card! Woot! But yeah, yay, China! Time for lots of food and lots of freezing our asses off!

GROOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

So the teacher that clipped his toenails in the staffroom long ago (well, I am sure he has done it since, but I blogged about it long ago) is currently CLEANING HIS EARS RIGHT NOW!!!!!! Groooosssssss! In the States that would be gross but not dirty, but Asians use the Asian ear pick thing that is wooden and scoops out the earwax…a normal person would use a Kleenex to clean the earwax off the ear pick, but he is using his hands! GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS GROSS! Do your personal grooming on your own time!!!!

My 2nensei are )(#$)(“#$)(“#$)(“#$!!!!!!

Okay, if Yabuchu burns down one day, it is probably my doing. My 2nensei are being the biggest pricks lately, and they will die!!!!! K, not really, but they will feel the ulcers that they are causing in my stomach from not cussing them out and calling them all kinds of names. They seriously cant do ANYTHING in class anymore. They were pretty bad before, but now it is just ridiculous. I decided to cave in and try to give them a fun, easy class today with Go Fish. It isn’t related to what they are studying whatsoever, but I figured that doing SOMETHING in English is better than them not listening to me teaching them. However, they played the game for about five seconds, then started doing magic tricks, making houses of cards, and sleeping. Why do they even come to school?! I don’t get it! GAH STUPID LKJSDFKJNVCOIJWERLKJSDFLKJSDFOIUWERLNCVLKJSDFOIUWEROIUWER!

Japanese teachers need lives!

Dude, I asked my kyoto sensei for nenkyu (time off) two days ago, and my JTE already knows I am going to Taiwan somehow?! Do they have like meetings about us? Also, this makes me paranoid that he is going around like, “Man, that Jeff takes off way too much time to travel around Asia! What a fucking bastard!” Hmm, oh well! But yes, I really don’t know how word spreads so fast. Weird.

Thailand is clazy!

Dude, so I was reading about the Thailand wackiness going on right now, and was amazed at this statistic:

Thailand, a longtime U.S. ally, has had 17 coups since World War II. Rumors of an 18th had been swirling around Bangkok in recent weeks as Thaksin battled considerable pressure to step down.

WTF! That is like three a decade! That is so weird....I can't even imagine that happening? Hmmm. Well, as long as they don't take over the resorts, I don't mind too much ;) Hahahaha, just kidding....yes, kidding.....

The TV season is upon us!

Man, I can't believe that TV shows are already starting!!! I didn't even know half of my shows started this week...time flies when you're...er...sitting at your desk for a whole summer! Hehe. I have already downloaded Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (I will never call it that long-ass title ever again, btw), but I have yet to watch it. I hear it's good! And The Office AND Grey's Anatomy this Thursday, holie! And then Ugly Betty, Veronica Mars, The Nine....so much TV, so little time. Ya know, 'cause I haven't been watching ANY TV since the season ended in May ;)

I need to blog, but I just taught six shougakkou classes and I am too tired, sweaty and stinky to be bothered....tomorrow it is!

Addiction!

Dude, I am soooooooooooooooooooooo addicted to the US version of The Office right now, it is ridiculous! I watched the second season in like five days and I want more of it!!!! It is fucking HILARIOUS! I know some people are loyal to the BBC series and don’t want to give it a try, but I highly recommend it, it is soooooooo good! And Pam and Jim are SO CUTE!!!! Awwwwwww! SO GOOD, I need more crack!!!

Travel Dramarama

So Cindy and I are currently attempting to plan a trip to Taiwan, and it is becoming the biggest pain in the ass EVER! We wanted to go on a 3-day weekend in October so that it would take one less day of nenkyu, but apparently all of Japan is going that weekend, as I applied to like ten tours and they are all full. Since then we have changed our dates in order to FINALLY get a “Yes, we will take your money!” E-Mail from a travel agent….only to get an even worse reply. Last night I got a reply that said (in Japanese), “We’re sorry, but we don’t sell packages to Taiwan to foreigners.” UM!!!!!! Fucking racists Japanese cocksuckers!!!!! Not amusing! I think we should make up Japanese names and be like, “Gotcha, fuckers!” Dude, only in Japan could you actually get away with saying that. Do it the American way and give the minority person really bad service so they “choose” not to do business with you, don’t just flat-out say it! Fuckers!

Clazy 3nensei

My first two days back at school have reminded me that my kids are weird and funny! For 3nensei classes we did this writing practice where they answer the questions in the textbook. Here is the most amusing answer:

1. What would you like to do if you have enough time and money?
I want to go to heaven.

2. Why would you like to do that?
Because I want to die.

3. How long have you wanted to do that?
Since yesterday.

4. How will you feel when you do that?
I’ll be happy.

In the States that would be written by some scary goth person, but this was by a funny kid so it was okay!

And the answer that I most relate with is:

1. What would you like to do if you have enough time and money?
I want to eat until I am full.

2. Why would you like to do that?
Because eating is important.

Aww, a boy after my own heart! It is kinda sad what some of the kids would do with money, though. One person just wanted to go home so she could sleep? Hello, who doesn’t answer “travel around the world” to that question!

From Oregon With Love

No, I am not a sentimental jackass, that is the title of a Japanese TV show (Oregon Kara Ai) from like 25 years ago that old people like to bring up when I say I am from there.

Anyway, highlights of my trip!

-So, I hate Northwest Airlines, but I have a shitload of miles on their alliance and it is the only direct flight from Narita to Portland, which makes it more than worth it. I REFUSE lay-overs because I am a bitch like that. So I was all happy to get to the States directly and stuff, but some motherfucking asshole decided to fuck it all up! About halfway through the flight a flight attendant asked if there was a doctor on board, which is never a good sign. It is even worse when they ask like ten times, as if a doctor will randomly appear out of the luggage hold or something. Might I mention that this is the second flight in a year in which they have asked that….I am cursed!

Anyway, this jackass got sick or some shit and we had to fucking stop in ALASKA to drop the bastard off! Normally I would be more sympathetic, but the bastard fucking WALKED off the plane!!! They were making a huge deal about it (they called the Neo Clinic (?) and the NWA center and stuff and no one knew what was wrong with him, so the flight was suggested to make an emergency landing. First of all, it was only supposed to take 30-40 minutes and it took nearly two hours! They sent in these huge firemen to help him out, so I was expecting them to carry the sick guy out….and he gets up and wanders off by himself! Um, if you are healthy enough to walk we are NOT stopping in fucking Alaska to drop you off, motherfucker! Then they had to search for his luggage because FAA makes you take your luggage off with you. THEN they brought on more food, refueled, and EMPTIED THE GARBAGE?!!!!! Um, just get me to Portland! On top of this, Alaska was 90 minutes out of the way, so it took for fucking ever to get home. Not amusing.

-I went to Eugene (where I went for uni) with Holly on Monday and it was so fun! Eugene is weird because when you live there you want to leave, and when you are gone you miss it! Strange, strange. We mainly went there to eat, and eat we did! I had Burrito Boy, the most amazing burrito place in the entire world! God, I missed the Boy. Holly watched me eat lunch there, then I watched her eat lunch at Glendwood. Hahaha. We missed our shit, yo! We went to my precious Eugene location of Trader Joe’s (no hot Kevin to be found, saaaaaaaaad!), where I was recognized by a worker, bad sign. Ah, TJ’s. Then we visited my old apartment and stuff and wandered around the U of O campus. Awww, it was nice to be back! Natsukashikatta!

After that we had an early happy hour and saw The Devil Wears Prada, which was really good! I recommend it, yo. Then we wandered a bit and had Ring of Fire, the best Thai restaurant in the world!!!!! MMMMMMMMMM. I had some rockin’ phad voon sen and then had their AMAZING tempura bananas with home-made coconut ice cream. Holly didn’t want any, so I ate the whole thing by myself! Hmm, I wonder how I got fat during the trip! FUCK, it was amazing. That was worth the $1200 flight right there!

-I caught up all kinds of movies! I watched Thank You for Smoking and…er…shit, I forget what on the plane. Something else I had wanted to see, I forget. Anyway, neither were amazing, sadly. I had high hopes for Thank You, but it wasn’t that great. Hrm. I also rented The Family Stone, Transamerica, and Spellbound. They were all fine but not amazing, either. I rented Capote but didn’t have time to watch it. Then Holly and I went to Quinceanera (yes, the n should have squiggly, Eduardo) and Little Miss Sunshine. Quinceanera is over-rated, in my opinion…it was fine, but also not amazing. LMS was funny, I liked it! Yay for catching up on stuff that will never come here!

-I got to see my little Samuel Clemens!!!!! (my dog, Sammy) She is soooooooooo cute, awwww, I missed her. She didn’t realize who I was for a minute, which is depressing, but she quickly remembered! Awwww, I want her here with me in Japan!!! She wouldn’t look at me on the day I left, she was pissed! I felt bad. Apparently she was pouting all day long, awwww! Little Samuel Clemens is clazy like that.

-Lots of shopping and eating were done! I have new clothes, TONS of products, and about 10 extra pounds on me! I also drank a shitload of alcohol and am currently making amends with my liver. He’s not talking to me right now, but I am sure he will cave in eventually.

-I went to Shanda’s wedding on the last Saturday, which was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fun. It was weird to see (chubby!) GHS alum, but I am so glad I went! Shanda looked AMAZING and their ceremony was sweet! And short! YAY to non-Catholic weddings!!!!!! Aww, I may have gotten a little misty-eyed. Afterwards we danced our asses off and I burned off at least one meal from the vacation :) Aww, it was soooooooooo fun!

I did lots more stuff, but I am too lazy to write about it. I am really glad I went, though. I didn’t realize how much I missed places and my friends and family until I went (and came back to Japan). It was surprising! But it was fun fun fun, yies yies yies.

Now I am back in the land of everything-being-too-short, no car for Jefu, work and muggy weather, bah! But it’s all good, except for the work and weather part. I don’t wanna teach again, I like summer vacation! Also, because I got used to Oregon weather I am seriously sweating my ASS off and looking really embarrassing. I am just covered in sweat and everyone else is fine. Oy.

Anyway, yeah, America=fun, but Japan=fun, too! The end.

Do do do do America, do do do do America! Do do do do America, do do do do America!

Cant you tell from my subject that I am singing the song from West Side Story? Mmmmhmmmm. Anyway, I went back to the States for 10-ish days! I had a great time…..TONS of shopping, TONS of eating, and TONS of drinking! I gained approximately seven billion kilos over the course of ten days, and I am sure my liver is not amused with me, either, as I drank like 9 of the days! Bad news bears, but fun, so who cares!

Anyway, I will write about the trip later….I will just write random thoughts for now:

-Dude, I forgot what it felt like to live in a country that isn’t ridiculously humid!!! People were complaining about the heat and I was like, “you think this is hot?!” It was sooooooooooooo nice to not be sweating all of the time (and barely sweating at all ever!). However, I was a huge pussy when it came to the “cold,” as it got cool a couple of the nights and I was freezing my damn ass off!

-It wasn’t too weird to drive for the first time in 13 months, but I did have about five driving-on-the-left-side incidents. Fortunately most of them occurred when I was only the passenger!

-It is weird, because literally RIGHT when I get back to the States, I go back into American mode. The same thing happened last time I went back (after study abroad). Right when I get in the airport it feels like I haven’t spent however long in Japan and nothing is TOO strange and foreign. In fact, I had more reverse culture shock at Narita than in Oregon! But that was a pleasant surprise. Other than seriously staring at all of the faaaaaaaaaaaaaat people and freaking out about how tall everyone around me was, I didn’t have many issues.

-Because I was in American mode, it also didn’t seem like it had been 13 months since having good cheeses, good wine, prosciutto, cheap Mexican food, microbrews, gooooooood pizza, Thai food, good Chinese food, etc. Like, it was nice to have them, but it didn’t seem like I had been dreaming about them for 13 months (yes, I am a loser)! Strange.

-Service workers in the States aren’t as rude as I remember them, yo! I thought I would freak out that they didn’t have a Japanese way of service about them, but everyone was way nice! It was creepy! I did seem retarded half the time, though, because I don’t remember how to make stupid small talk and answer the random questions they ask at registers and stuff. I sounded like a foreign exchange student or something!

-Although I had English issues while there (dude, any optional vocab words have been completely erased from my mind), I didn’t have too many accidental Japanese moments! I nearly sumimasen-ed waiters for the first few days (the closest I came was opening my mouth to say it to an Asian-American waiter….sneaky non-Asian Asians! Hehehehe), but I did a lot better than I thought. However, a world without “abunai,” “deshou,” and “neeeeee!” is a world I don’t want to be a part of!

I am sure I have more shit to say, but this is boring so I will end it!

Cindy is quicker than me at blogging!

So, the big news of the week (well, other than going home) is that Cindy and I got new keitais! Yeeeeea! I was bored as shit with my keitai and wanted a new one, plus all of the new JETs have shiny new phones and I was jealous! We got the same keitai as like every new JET, but I'll ignore that and pretend that we're both very original!

Anyway, Cindy is a big nerd with lots of free time (unlike me!) and blogged exactly what I was going to say, so go here and read it! NOW!

(oh, mine is a black version of her keitai)

Yet another bored staffroom observation

Japan is the home of CHEAP-AS eye glasses that are also really cool and hip. They are soooo much better than glasses in the States. Therefore it is even more surprising to see some of my teacher's choices of reading glasses. My tea lady has the CRAZIEST glasses I have ever seen. They are bright yellow plastic frames that seriously look like toy glasses you would get in a Happy Meal or something. I thought they were fake the first time I saw them, but I realized she doesn't really have that kind of sense of humor, plus she has used them since then. I want to take a sneaky picture!

I have one teacher who is a total man's man....he drinks beer and smokes like a chimney every day, and like refuses to eat vegetables and fruit? Whatever. Anyway, right now he is wearing glasses that seriously look like ones my grandma would wear! They are huge pink-ish/orange-ish frames that really CAN'T be men's glasses. WTF!

Dude, ALTs should start a makeover show for our teachers! That would be awesome! Away with these ugly glasses!

I can't think of a good title for this entry!

So last week was orientation for the new JETs, which is 3 days of info about contracts, team-teaching, housing, living in Japan, etc. It doesn't seem like that long ago that I was one of the JETs taking notes on how to clean my apartment using weird Japanese cleaning supplies, or worrying about what my classes would be like. However, watching the presentations, it amazed me how much I have learned in the last year! It was funny to see the presentations for a second time, because I can't imagine NOT knowing the stuff that I have learned in the last year. Like, "Duh, of course we need dry pets in our apartment to suck up the humidity so the apartment doesn't mold!" or "Of course you have to be at work before the morning meeting, why would you ever think otherwise?!", etc etc. It was really weird to think about how much I just consider basic knowledge, when it really isn't when you think about it. It's cool, and makes me appreciate the opportunities that JET provides even more! <--man, does it sound like I am in a job interview or what?! But seriously, it does!

At the same time, it is weird to think of all of the pop culture stuff that I have missed in the last year! At karaoke, the new JETs were singing songs I had NEVER heard of but artists I had never heard of! Sad! It is weird to think that the world has been going on without me. Last year, Cindy and I couldn't believe that the 2nd year JETs didn't know Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone" at karaoke, and now we are those clueless 2nd years!

I was also looking at movie listings for when I go home, as I want to catch up on independent movies that will never come here...and I didn't know like 2/3 of the movies that are showing!

I dunno, it is just weird to think about. I know I am gonna have some INTENSE reverse culture-shock when I get there, as Americans are rude-ass bitches, especially in stores and stuff. A couple times lately at my local Coop, the workers didn't immediately shriek "IRASSHAIMASEEEEEEE!" (welcome) when I came in and I was like, what the fuck is wrong with you bitches?! Man, I am in for a rude awakening!

8 years ago today....

I saw Rent for the first time!!!! Awwwwwwwwww, memories. I haven't seen it in over a year, but YAY for November! Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeent!

Dance, 1nensei, Dance!

Japanese “summer vacations” are the biggest joke of a vacation ever, as the kids still go to school and study just as much! The school year doesn’t end until March, so the kids have homework to do during their holidays, AND they have to come into school a few times in August for no apparent reason. I feel so bad for them! On top of that, the kids are doing bukatsu at school every day, and everyone goes to juku (cram school) even more than usual, especially 3nensei. Poor bastards!

Anyway, today I was doing my daily “Jeff is bored, let’s wander around the school grounds” walk when I heard lots of noise coming from the gym. I walked over there and found ALL of the 1nensei learning how to dance! Ahahahahaha, it was an amusing sight. Imagine tons of 1nensei boys and girls being forced to dance with each other, with painful grimaces on their faces while doing some sort of hybrid square dance type of thing. Hee hee! Sooooooooooooo amusing. They are going on a 3-day field trip in September to Mt. Akagi, and apparently they have to dance there? I’m not sure why, exactly, but I wish I could go just to see that! Hee hee.

Orientization

Wednesday was the first day of the new Gunma JET Orientation in Maebashi. Sadly, Cindy, Ann and I are losers and had been looking forward to it all summer! We have no lives. It was three days of intense orientation-izing, of which I skipped a lot of, muahahaha. It was sooooooooooo nice to be away from boring-as school, and it was nice to get to know some of the new JETs! I was a volunteer, which meant that I had one or two things to do all day, then just fuck around for the rest of the time! Yes, VERY stressful!

Wednesday after orientation, we had the big karaoke night, which was lots of sweaty fun. Holy shit, it was soooooooooooooooo hot in there, I had to take my shirt off at the end just to NOT die (I got judgmental stares from some guys, but fuck you, I was about to die it was so hot! I wasn’t trying to show off my incredibly muscular body, bitches!). Anyhoo, after that Ann, Cindy and I went to our favorite place in the world, the lobby of the hotel! We pretty much spent the whole orientation there so that we could spy on people. Hahahaha. Well, that wasn’t necessarily the purpose of sitting there, but it was a nice bonus! I got way drunk at karaoke, so it was fun night :)

Thursday everyone was tired and hungover, which was maybe not the best idea for orientation (karaoke is usually on Thursday), but oh well. That night we took some of the new JETs to the Indian restaurant to get some yummyyyyyyyyyy chocolate naan, which kicked ass! Mmmm! Plus, yay to hanging out with newbies!

Friday was the fun cultural day that GAJET organized. We all got to see a taiko drum performance, which was muy cool. And yeah! I dunno. Other shit happened, but I can’t remember anymore. It was fun times! I’m looking forward to getting to know everyone better….too bad the “Welcome to Gunma” beer garden is the day I leave for the States, hrmph.

Saturday in Toks

On Saturday, Ann, Cindy and I went down to Tokyo to see Movin’ Out, the Billy Joel musical (by the U.S. touring cast, not in Japanese). It was really good!!! It isn’t really a musical as much as a modern ballet. The whole show is danced, while a Billy Joel-ish guy sings all of the songs on a stage above them. The dancing was amazing! I can’t even imagine being able to do that once, let alone every day?! Fucking crazy, yo. The show tells the story of high school friends being sent to Vietnam, then the aftermath. It was really good and I’m very glad we went! I haven’t had enough theatre in Japan!

In Japan, theatre is way too expensive, and even though we had 8000 yen tickets, we were in the second-to-last row! Um, not acceptable for Jeff the Theatre Queen! Fortunately the show wasn’t sold out, so we moved down to the expensive seats for the second act!

After the show, we went to Yoyogi Koen for Tokyo Gay Pride. We arrived to the MOST depressing pride celebration I have ever seen! There were like five people there and it was silent! It turned out that the parade had just left, so we wandered around looking for it….only to find more silence! Dude, Japanese Pride parades are soooooo Japanese! They were all quiet and organized and shit! Hello, where are the noisy Dykes on Bikes and shit?! After being thoroughly disappointed, the girls and I went to Starbucks, where we got a great table to judge people on the street for an hour. We then returned to the Pride place in the park, and it was MUCH better than before. There were lots of guys and it was actually noisy! Yay. It was nice to see gay people actually existing in Japan. However, it totally felt like we live in Communist China or some shit, as you weren’t allowed to take people’s pictures without permission, ‘cause some people couldn’t be outed? Um, it’s fucking PRIDE, people, you can’t be like “I’m proud of being gay! But don’t take pictures of me, I don’t want people to KNOW I’m gay!” Bah. So they need to work on that, but at least there actually is Pride here, I guess.

In the evening we went to a Japanese-French restaurant that Cindy had read about in The Japan Times. It was good, but they took their sweet time with the food! We got a course set, and they totally were going purposely slow so that we could order a million expensive drinks in the meantime! We were stubborn gaijin, tho, and refused to get shitfaced (and poor), unlike SOME people in the restaurant! One table seriously drank at LEAST three bottles of wine, and there were only three people at the table! Anyway, the dinner was good, but way too filling, despite not being too much food. I am officially gonna die in the States.

The other good news about Saturday was that we got tons of flyers about musicals coming to Japan….including Tick Tick Boom! YAY!!!! TTB is a three-person show by Jonathan Larson, the writer of Rent. I have seen videos of it (perfectly legal, of course), but have yet to see the show in person. Anyway, there is a touring Japanese production of it in November, so Ann and I got tickets to see it! Woot!!! Sadly we didn’t know about it sooner, as we got tickets in the back of the theatre (WHAT Japanese people know of TTB?! Seriously), but at least we’re seeing it. And the guy playing Jonathan was Mark in the Japanese production of Rent! Appropriate! So I am seeing both TTB AND Rent in November….a Jonathan Larson-filled month! WOOOOOOOOOOOT!

Shake your bon-bon

Today is the first day of obon (or “bon”) in Japan, which is the designated time that practically everyone in Japan goes back to their hometown to visit their family and worship their ancestors (K, there is a better way to put that, but I can’t think of it). Thank god I am not Japanese, because trains, planes, buses and roads are soooo crowded at this time of year with everyone going home! Tack on the new airport drama and it’s badness all around.

Anyway, it is interesting that they have obon, as the closest things for Americans would be like Thanksgiving or Christmas, I guess? That’s when you see your family, but we don’t ever give a shit about our ancestors, hehe (well, maybe Veteran’s Day or Memorial Day, but not really).

Being at school sucks even more during obon, as almost every single teacher is taking nenkyu and is on “vacation” (I don’t consider family and ancestor time to be vacation!). There are THREE teachers here today! Sooooooooooooooooooooo boring. C’mon, kyoto sensei, tell me I can go home!!!

Naughty bits!

K, not really, but here are some either naughty or just plain random pics that didn't make it to the semi-family-friendly photo site...


The Country Ma'ams being "sexy" with Country Ma'ams! Mmmmhmmm!


In Korea, we all had the chance to marry Yon-sama! How exciting. Ann takes her turn...


Now Cindy....


Dude, Yon-sama is queenier than me, he should be in the damn bride's dress!


Dude, it's sad when you get excited at the thought of a vending machine with food in it! Vending machines are EVERYWHERE in Japan, but they only have drinks (well, there are also porn ones, battery ones, rice ones, condom ones.....everything but food!). Anyway, the ones in Korea had like big boxes of cookies and shit! Clazy.


Beer in Korea has odd names, yo. Sean's beer likes it could be "Shite" when it is turned properly....


This one looks like it could be "Ass."


And best of all, we have OB, which hopefully is NOT made by the tampon maker! Eww.


Japanese boys LOVE dressing like girls! Akihito got WAY into being Hermione in our skit!


Misaki, the stud of the camp, turned into one big-boobed girl in no time!!!


In Mexican churches, they have all kinds of creepy-ass religious mannequins all over the place. They are CREEPY. Eduardo and I found the treasure of all religious mannequins, tho......gay Jesus!


After leaving the church, Eduardo and I were talking about gay Jesus. We had different takes on it. Proper, polite Eduardo described Jesus as "being in a compromising position," while I said that it was Jesus taking it up the ass. Either way, Jesus is GAY, and a total nelly bottom, to boot!


And just for fun....me and Eduardo, awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Picture Update, FINALLY

Yes, I added a shitload shitload shitload of pics to my photo site! Go there NOW, 'cause I did it for YOU and it was BORING! Bastards ;)

Little Samuel Clemens!!!

Sammy is officially the cutest dog EVER!!!!! And I get to see her in 2 1/2 weeks! YAY!!!!

Yabuzuka Matsuri

On Saturday Cindy was nice enough to accompany me to the Yabuzuka matsuri (festival). I went by myself last year and it was soooooo boring and awkward, as I didn’t know anyone (it was a few days after coming here) and I just walked around for 3 hours by myself (sniff!).

Well, it was still kinda boring and awkard this year, but at least Cindy and I could talk shit about people! Hahahaha. Poor Cindy got judged by every single student that passed us (and the entire school was there), as all of my students were searching for gossip between us. I was asked if she was my wife, fiancé, girlfriend, friend, and, most surprisingly, SISTER?! Um, yes, there IS a very strong resemblance…..crazy students.

Anyway, apparently Shinders made a lasting impression, as I am at school today and they are all asking me about her again! Oy.

UNESCO Kyanpu

Last week was a busy week (usually an oxymoron during the summer!) for ALTs, as we all had to go to the UNESCO English Camp from Wednesday through Friday. Each chuugakkou sends their English-y students, and they get to play games, speak English, do skits, etc. It is pretty much an excuse for everyone to get no sleep and have a big sleepover (don’t tell UNESCO that!). There were 15 ALTs (!!!) and 51 kids, so it was a lot of people. We all stayed the night there (well, most of us) Wednesday and Thursday night, so by the end of camp everyone was pretty much sleepwalking.

Each ALT got a group of about four people, and Cindy and I combined our 2nensei boys groups so that it was more fun and less awkward. We were in charge of doing a skit, and we ended up doing Harry Potter. Dude, Yasufumi (one of our boys) is totally an Asian Harry Potter, it was a bit freaky! It was actually a fun skit to prepare…I had forgotten the maturity level of 2nensei boys, as they attempted to incorporate as many fart jokes as possible within the five minutes. We also had the backbone of all skit humor….cross-dressing! We needed a Hermione, and since the group was all boys, we had Akihito dress in drag. Oh, it was amusing. He got wayyyy into it! He did his make-up over like three times! A bit worrisome!

Anyway, the camp was a lot of fun. It is nice to see the kids outside of the school setting, as you can actually see their real personalities….plus you can get all kinds of gossip out of them! Woot! I found out what they think of teachers, who is dating who (I know at least one of those should be “whom,” but whatever), etc! I need to hang out with my kids more often ;)

The only bad thing about the camp (other than getting NO sleep) was that the food was UNBELIEVABLY awful. Like, I have never had worse food in Japan EVER. Our first meal was curry, which is the basic “It’s cheap and you can’t fuck it up, so let’s have curry!” meal. Yet somehow they fucked up fucking curry. It was the saltiest shit EVER. It was like a salt lick with brown sauce over it. UGH. All of the meals were awful, and in the entire three days we had like one serving of vegetables. I felt sooooooooooo fat and malnutrition-ed on Friday that my dinner was just a shitload of vegetables. Fucking camp food! Ugh.

But anyway, the camp was way more fun than hanging out in the boring shokuinshitsu, plus I get 2 days of daikyu out of it! Yeeeea!

Munchers

McDonalds' new seasonal snack is the most lesbionic sounding thing I have ever heard of!!!


Yes, you can now go to McDonald's and order Munchers! They should have a campaign in which you get a free Melissa Etheridge with each Muncher purchased! Hrm, actually, I would totally buy Munchers then. Does that make me a lesbian?

Saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!

I just deleted the phone numbers of all of my friends who left from my keitai! That makes their absence much more realistic! Mehhhhhhhhh! Me no rikey! Sniff, sniff.

Damn my Japanese stomach!

On Saturday I met up with Ann at AEON to see Gedo Senki, an anime movie by Hayao Miyazaki’s son. No, I am not a scary otaku, but I usually like Miyazaki’s movies. Well, the same can’t be applied to his son’s, apparently, as it was NOT ADD-friendly and was kinda weird and just annoyed me. Plus it was confusing and I didn’t follow all of it, plus I got sticky dango sauce all over my hands a half-hour into it, so I was just pissed off for like half of the movie, hehe. Oh, well.

After that we met up with Mami and Cindy to get Indian food at Moti in Ota. Sadly we were fucking senior citizens and ate dinner at 5:30?! Talk about the fucking Early Bird Special, yo! That is just creepy. So, that left us with PLENTY of free time afterwards and we had no idea what to do. Mami is awesome and has a car and was like, “Let’s go to Cold Stone in Sano!” Yay! Cold Stone semi-recently opened in the sorta-new part of the outlet mall over in Sano, and I hadn’t been, so that was exciting. We drove there, wandered around for a while, then got us some ice cream.

I hadn’t had Cold Stone since high school, but we all got smalls, and they were apparently smaller than the small size in the States. However, I couldn’t finish the damn thing, felt nasty, and could barely move afterwards! Ugh! This does not bode well for my trip back home. Hrm. It was yummy, but was just too much and too filling!

It was a fun night, though! Thanks for taking us around, Mami! Tanoshikattayo :)

Gokiburi game no more!

I can’t believe I forgot to blog about this story from a week ago! Too lazy to re-write, so I will paste from an E-Mail:

Oh! I don't think I told you about me nearly being killed by a COCKROACH IN MY APARTMENT! K, the cockroach’s version of the story may be along the lines of "Jeff chased me around the apartment as I tried to escape and he smashed me with his shoe," but I stand by my story, god dammit!

Every night I air out my apartment by opening the sliding doors and leaving the screens shut....however, Japanese bugs are sneaky and somehow break into the apartment anyway. Usually it's just mosquitoes and little things that aren't TOO bad (plus I have these amazing (I'm sure cancer-causing) plug-in things that keep mosquitoes away, so it has been better lately). Anyway, on Friday night I went into the kitchen and was washing my dishes when I saw something dark and HUGE move freaking FAST in the corner of my eye! NEVER A GOOD SIGN! It was on the wall but darted behind the refrigerator. I immediately freaked out and got a shoe to smash it with, but it was a sneaky bugger and wouldn't reveal itself! I kept shaking the refrigerator, but to no avail. I then proceeded to move the refrigerator that was heavy and hadn't been moved in probably about two years. When I finally managed to move it, I saw that there was a HUGE FREAKING COCKROACH on the damn wall! AAAAHHHHH! After throwing things at it, it darted across the kitchen with me and my shoe in hot pursuit. Holy crap, I had no idea that they were a) so huge, b) so fast, and c) have freaking WINGS?! What the hell! Finally after much yelling and swearing at it, I managed to introduce him to my friend Mister Shoe, and promptly called Cindy, who had previously had cockroach problems. After proudly proclaiming that I had smashed it, she informed me, "But you're not supposed to smash them, their eggs can fly all over the place!" Ack!!!!!!!! I then ran and got the vacuum and proceeded to vacuum my entire kitchen at 10 PM. Fun times! Gross gross gross! Not fun! So the next day I bought bug bombs and bombed my entire apartment. It still kinda smells funny. Yay, more cancer! So yes, that was my nice relaxing Friday night.

One-Year Anniversary

One year ago today I arrived in Japan….clazy! I don’t think that it has gone overly fast or slow, but it is weird to think of all the things that have happened in the last year. Cindy and I were talking today, and while we DON’T want to be ALTs forever, you can’t deny that the lifestyle is great! Sad, I don’t wanna go home any time soon! Anyway, yay one year!

Herusu Chekku!

Yesterday I was forced to get my first physical since I was like 8 years old, literally. Well, I guess I got a half-assed one before coming here, but still. Anyway, Japanese people are crazy about check-ups and teachers are forced to get one every year, which is good in theory, but I don’t like doctors!

Now in the States if we had to get a physical, we’d have to make an appointment with our doctor, wait for an hour in the waiting room, then wait for another half hour in the whatsit…um. What do you call the little room in the doctor’s office? Anyway, in that room! And you’d have to pay for it, too.

However, thanks to Japanese efficiency (I had forgotten it existed!) and socialized medicine, it took about 5 times longer to bike to the health center and back than the actual physical! It was seriously over in 10 minutes, and it was free! Clazy!

The Nitta Health Center had 2 days set aside for teachers getting physicals, so I biked down there (sweating my ass off, mmm!) and mentally prepared myself to sit and be bored. Man, was I surprised!

First I turned in my paperwork and they immediately directed me to the X-Ray wagon outside?! Um, wtf! It was like a blood drive trailer thing, but for X-Rays. Oh, Japanese people are obsessed with TB because we are in ghetto Asia, so we have to get cancer-causing pointless X-Rays every year. Not only this, but THEY DON’T GIVE YOU ANY LEAD SHIT TO COVER YOU UP. Good thing I don’t want kids ‘cause Jeff is officially sterile now! Also, the lady who takes the X-Ray wasn’t covered in any way either?! Um, NOT SAFE!

After changing my genetic code and turning into a mutant from no lead protection, I was immediately directed to the scale that weighed me and, without my knowledge, had this robotic thing that hit my head to measure me. I totally wasn’t standing up straight AND it freaked the shit out of me when it hit my head! Oh, well. Next they tested my eyes, then directed me to the next booth (these were all at tables with various people in charge of each thing, with NO WAITS at any of them! It was like a health check carnival!) where I was mysteriously given a paper cup and told something in Japanese. I wasn’t sure what he said (believe it or not, I hadn’t learned the word for “urine analysis”), but figured I knew where he was going….but why a paper cup?! That is rather ghetto. Anyway, he was like, “Er, go to the toilet.” Haha. Gross!!! Everyone came out of the bathrooms with paper cups full of urine in their hands! Nastay!

God knows what they did to my pee, then I was directed to the hearing booth and then I was done! I never had to wait for ANYTHING and I didn’t even have to get naked! My kind of physical, yo. Although really not very thorough, now that I think about it, as they didn’t check me at all. Like, shouldn’t they check my ears and throat and stuff? Eh, I don’t care!

Bellybuttons, Matsuris, and Goodbyes

This weekend was matsuri-filled, as Cindy and I met up with other ALTs at the Shibukawa’s Heso Matsuri on Saturday. Shibukawa claims to be the “bellybutton of Japan,” as it thinks it is the center of Japan, geographically. However, it is not the only city that claims this. *shrug* Anyway, because of this, they have the bellybutton festival every year, which is much more fun than normal matsuris! Everyone involved in the parade goes around shirtless (well, the guys) with painted faces on their chests, showing off their bellybuttons. It was really funny….I will have to post pics once I steal them from Shinders.

Cindy and I are already sick of matsuri food (they are ALL the same), so we were American rebels and had our semi-annual McDonald’s fix, which was sadly quite yummy.

At the end of the night, we had to say goodbye to Anna and Jocelyn, as they are leaving this week. EVERYONE is leaving this week! I hate JET, it is not nice to make all of one’s friends leave in the same week! Hrmph!!!

On Sunday I went to the Ota matsuri with Cindy, which was HUGE (for Ota) and ghetto! It was like a normal matsuri, but then they had to trash it up to show Ota culture. There was a random bicycle trick thingy? Like, people on bikes going over bumps and thinking they’re cool. I don’t remember what you call it in English. And there was also some AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL improv rap going on. Oy. And these weird ‘50’s greaser-wannabes “dancing” in the streets? It was too strange to describe. I guess that’s what happens when your matsuri is on the hostess bar strip!

It was fun to go to the matsuri, tho, as I saw 2 3nensei couples holding hands (!!!) that I didn’t know were couples! Ooooo, yay gossip! Cindy has also apparently changed from being my girlfriend to my fiancée, according to my 2nensei! I wasn’t aware of this, were you, Cindy? Does this mean we get presents?

That night we went to Gen to have a goodbye dinner for some of the ALTs….meh!

On Monday we had to say goodbye to Jenny, which was not fun at all!!!! It didn’t really feel like goodbye, but it was sad anyway. I think it will hit me later! I also said goodbye to Sean, but he is touring Southeast Asia and coming back for a couple days at the end of August, so I’ll be able to see him again. Still, it won’t be the same! Mehhhhhhhhhhhh!

So yes, many goodbyes going on right now…..then soon enough we’ll all be meeting the new JETs! I’m excited for that, but I’d rather have my friends NOT LEAVE!

Pointless Pointless Pointless!

While I am glad that it is summer vacation, the days of being a pointless ALT have begun! Friday I biked my ass through an hour of rain to the BOE to waste time until the mysterious shougakkou ALT meeting in the afternoon. It was only me, Cindy, Tom and Robert there, and we were bored out of our minds within minutes! Never a good sign. The meeting was at 3, so we went for a 2 1/2 hour lunch to waste time, when all of a sudden Cindy got a call from our advisor on her keitai. Um, that’s never good! Mr. Goino was like, “Where are you? Didn’t you hear that the time changed? PLEASE HURRY!” We then sort-of quickly walked (hehe) to the BOE, only to find that we weren’t having an orientation that afternoon, but we were teaching shougakkou teachers English for no apparent reason?! Sooooooooooooooo pointless! Cindy and I threw together a half-assed lesson very quickly and then taught it. It went okay. Thank god for back-up games!!!

On Monday we did the same thing (tho I was lazy and trained and taxi-ed to the BOE this time, muahahaha) and it went even better. It was obvious that no one wanted to be there, so we pretty much just wasted time with games. As if shougakkou teachers have a burning desire to learn English for no reason during the summer! At least we were able to escape an hour early and “go back to school.”

Tuesday was the best day of the summer so far, as we attended a 90-minute meeting at Ota City Hall about our upcoming UNESCO English Camp. After that we “went back to school”….which is code for going to AEON and going shopping all day long! Hahahaha. We shopped at AEON for a while, then Genki Sushi-ed it up (sushi lunch for 5 bucks, yeeea!), then I spent far too much money on clothes at Uniqlo. However, it has been forever since I bought new clothes, so that is kind of justifiable….sorta. Yes, a very busy and difficult day being an ALT!

Today is my first day at school with no one to talk to, so there may be a significant increasing in blogging during these days! Stupid fake summer vacation!

Pet Peeve

K, why on TV shows do people always touch their friends'/lovers' positive pregnancy tests?! That is soooooooooooooooooooo gross! I don't care if they are excited that their friend/lover is pregnant, I don't think anyone in real life would celebrate by touching a urine-covered stick! "Congratulations on being pregnant, please let me have your pee all over my hands!!!" Nasty nasty nasty!

While I'm on the most random subject ever, why do people on TV shows always get up at 3 in the morning to make a sandwich? Even if I can't sleep, I never have the burning desire to go in the kitchen and make a sandwich. Doesn't that just wake you up more? I don't get it.

Yes, urine and sandwiches. These are my pet peeves.

Drinking, Yabu-chu Style!

Last night was the end-of-term enkai (drinking party) for Yabuchu and although I wanted to save money (SO POOR) and not go, I was coerced by Morita Sensei and others! Bastards! Anyway, I’m glad I went as it was fun! We always have enkais in fuck-knows-where Kiryu (I swear every street in that city is as wide as me) because I am the only teacher who lives anywhere near Yabuzuka, sad. Fortunately Ms. Kimura picked me up!

Drinks were very much needed that evening, as a 3nensei beat up some 1nensei students with an umbrella after school?!!! Um, yeah! I enjoy drinking with Yabuchu teachers, as I am convinced they drink 10 times more than teachers at good schools! Many schools have boring enkais with only a few teachers, or if they all go a lot of them don’t drink. Almost all of the Yabu teachers drink, and drink a LOT! Woot, my kind of people.

Enkais are abunai, as it is custom to never have an empty glass (or half empty, or even a sip empty, for that matter), so people pour each other beers constsantly. So it is impossible to know how much you actually drank by the end of the night! Abunaiiiiiiyo! They are also abunai because you are given approximately 200 pounds of food (mostly all meat and fish (yes, fish is meat, but not in Japan))!

But yeah, it was a good night! You learn some random shit about your teachers when everyone is drunk! For example, there is this new 1nensei teacher who is always super formal and high-strung and I KNEW he would be a huge lush. A half hour into the party I look over at him and he is the reddest Asian I have ever seen! Not only is his face bright red, but his arms and eyes are, too?! Scary! Anyway, we were bitching about being tall in Japan (he is 185 cm) and I don’t know how we started talking about it, but his dream is to be in the world Monopoly championship?! Crazy! He plays it all the time and wants to be in the next one (apparently it is like the Olympics, as it is every four years, hahaha), but it is in English so he is worried about needing a translator. Dude, that is the most random dream I have ever heard of!

After taking a microbus (damn, we’re organized drunks!) to the 2jikai (second party) we all drank and ate some more, then the night was done. I was dreading calling a cab, as it would be at least 5000 yen, but my gay-as-hell-but-married-with-child teacher offered to drive me home, even tho he lives in the opposite direction! Dude, he is officially the nicest man in the world! I was totally willing to blow him for the ride…..does that make me a slut? I think it just makes me polite!

I’m worthy of junior high school gossip!

Yesterday after school at shougakkou these 5nensei girls were talking to me, and I asked one of them if she had an older sister, as I have an 1nensei who looks EXACTLY like her. They’re sisters and I told the girl that I teach her sister at Yabuchu, and she answers, “Yeah, I know. The other day my sister had her friends over and they were talking about you!” Um, okay??? I asked why they were talking about me and she was like, “I dunno!” Hmmmmmmmmm, suspicious! I will assume that they are talking about my amazing hot-ness and not talking shit about me! Sad, I am SO in junior high school again!

Long Weekend, Part Two

Sunday was Jenny’s goodbye party (sniff!!!) at Atsuko’s, which was an excuse to eat the most ridiculous amount of food EVER. It was all amazing amazing amazing food, but I wanted to vomit afterwards. I also had approximately 300 glasses of wine because I’m a huge alcoholic. Oh, well!

The party was fun, though! Lots of eating, drinking, talking, and even a special little song for Jenny ;) Hahaha. Afterwards we went out to karaoke, which was good times, as always. SAD, it might be the last time we all karaoke together. BAH, I don’t wanna think about it!

Shinders slept over and we ventured out in the now never-ending rain to go to AEON to see Pirates of the Caribbean with Emily, Jenny and Ann. Um, this was the worst idea we have ever had. The line for the AEON bus was HUGE, which was not a good omen. Then it took over twice as long as usual to get to AEON because EVERYONE in Ota (and then some) had the brilliant idea to go there on their day off. There were only like ten tickets left for Pirates, so we were in the very front and all had to sit by ourselves. We rushed through lunch, saw the movie separately, then all left. Um, we all saw for about 5 minutes total and didn’t enjoy a minute of AEON. Not a relaxing day off! Also the movie wasn’t very good at all, tho I wasn’t expecting much. Should have gone with the original “I am not leaving my house all day long!” plan. Oh, well.

At night I was bored so I turned on Match Point (or is it Matchpoint?)…um, apparently I am missing out on something because it bored the shit out of me. I turned it off after 40 minutes ‘cause I didn’t care what happened in the end. Also, Scarlett Johanssen (uh, major sp) was HORRIBLE in it. She is so boring and has horrible delivery. Also the character is supposed to be like “Everyone wants to fuck me, I’m so hot,” and I don’t really think of her that way at all. She was mis-cast and now I realize why everyone says she’s a bad actress. Bad news bears, yo!

And yeah, that was my weekend. Now I’m back at work where there’s only TWO DAYS LEFT YAY YAY YAY then summer vacation! Even though summer vacation seems to be busier than actual school days, but who cares! WOOT!

BTW, a huge photo update WILL be coming soon! I am just waiting to get other people’s digital photos and then I’ll go on a posting rampage. Yies, sir!

Long Weekend

As I’m sure everyone in the world knows, yesterday was Marine Day, so we had a three-day weekend. I mean, why WOULDN’T we celebrate Marine Day?! I’m not sure what exactly it’s supposed to mean, but they often rename former Emperor’s birthdays random-ass names and take the days off, so I am guessing it is one of those. Either way I didn’t have to work, so, er, yay ocean?

Friday night Sean, Jenny, Cindy, Jenny’s school’s Portuguese/Japanese teacher Jessica and her friend and I went out for drinks and dinner in Ota. We went to Typhoon first, then to our new trashy dive, the kick-ass Brazilian bar afterwards. It has yummy drinks and yummy food (well, yummier last time when we were extremely drunk, but still good) and trashy western-style karaoke! Fortunately it’s never very crowded so it isn’t too embarrassing. Plus western-style karaoke lets you make friends! We bonded with these two guys who were as bad as us at karaoke! One of them brought their family with them?! Like his wife and two little daughters were there, and the daughters stayed out later than me!!! Um, sad! Anyway, there was plenty of karaoke to be had, and we even busted out some songs with the Brazilians! It was muy fun, even if our confidence was shattered a bit by the girls covering their ears during a particularly dreadful song. Oh, also, drunk Brazilians love sharing food with strangers, which I believe is a great custom that should be adopted by all.

Saturday was the day from hell because I believe Japan was actually HOTTER than Hell that day. Holy shit, it was SO HOT. It was 35 degrees (95 F) and 80% humidity. Um, COOL. Anyway, Emily, Ann, Cindy and I went to Veronica’s school’s festival to see our girl dance in the “Black Dance” club (haha, only in Japan). It was fun! V was of course the best dancer :) The festival was really impressive….all of the school clubs had booths selling food to make money. Hello, I’m more than happy to give money to fundraisers involving food! After that Cindy and I went to Baskin-Robbins to cool down. Mmmm, ice cream. Then we went to the Tatebayashi matsuri. Matsuri are Japanese festivals that mostly only happen during the summer. Each city/town has its own matsuri and they are ALL THE SAME. They have the same customs, same food, same everything. But it’s nice to see various people at matsuri, so as a result I am going to at least one matsuri every weekend for the next month. Um, I’m gonna be sick of okonomiyaki and yakisoba by the end of August!

Anyway, Tatebayashi’s matsuri was pretty fun except for the fact that it was raining throughout the whole damn thing. Also, for some reason they went mikoshi (portable shrine) crazy and had like 500 of them! A buncha drunk men (and a few girls) lift them (they are FUCKING heavy) and carry them down the street….I’m not sure why, but ‘tis tradition. By the end there were too many on the street, nowhere to walk, and I got cranky and bitched out an old Japanese man (well, as much as you can in Japanese). Yes, I’m a bad representative of America, but he was being an asshole! Also, I do enough good things, so maybe they balance out. Hehe.

To be continued later!