I heart my 7kumi

Every Friday I have the pleasure of teaching the special needs class as my last class of the week. I usually only use the word "pleasure" in the most sarcastic tone possible, but I actually love teaching 7kumi (the special needs class). They are SO fucking cool! They are way genki (ack, a word I forgot to define before. It is "happy/energetic") and just excited for me to be there. I could sing the same song with them for 50 minutes (let's be honest, that's pretty much what I do), and they would still love it. They're also damn smart, I tell you! Last week we did numbers and I had to stretch things out 'cause they were masters before I even got there! This week we did parts of the body (well, the parts that are in "heads shoulders knees and toes") and they knew those already, too! I had extra time at the end, so I reviewed numbers with them and they're still stars. So, here's to you, 7kumi! You rock.

On another teaching note, does it make me a bad ALT for liking troublemakers in my classes? The classes without troublemakers are technically good classes, but are usually far too quiet and don't give me anything to work with. The troublemakers at least usually try to speak English, and are generally fairly amusing. They also all look the same. They all have the Japanese mullet, wear their sweats down to their knees, and pretty much do the exact same things. I find it amusing 'cause they think they're really original, but I can't really tell them apart so much. But yes, they are fun. But not as fun as my kick-ass 7kumi!

The Difference Between Japanese and American Schools

In Japan, teachers are seen as the kids’ parents who have to teach them how to be safe on their bikes (if you knew how many posters and announcements we get on this subject, you would be amazed), look after them, and generally worry about them far more than their parents. Every day I listen in on weird conversations as teachers call the kids’ parents for no reason whatsoever. They also announce in the morning meeting if any student is sick, and tell every detail they know about it.

So, it was with general amusement today when I listened in on the morning meeting and one of the “important announcements” was that one student’s bike tire got punctured this morning by something that looks like xxx (didn’t understand this word), and that the teacher would ask him about it in her class to see if he’s okay.

I’m not saying this is a bad difference, it’s just a very amusing difference, especially when Jeff is delirious from lack of caffeine and sleep. Anyway, gotta go help clean the staffroom. Ja ne.

Let's learning Japanese!

It has been brought to my attention that people back in the States have no idea what I'm saying half the time on here 'cause of my Jengrish. So, the following is a guide to Japanese words that every gaijin (oops, there's one) adopts, whether they mean to or not. You crazy non-Japanese-speaking people can refer to this in future posts, 'cause I know you are that concerned about knowing what I'm talking about.

Shougakkou- Elementary school

Chuugakkou- Middle school/Junior High (I may leave some of the u's out of these words out of laziness)

Gaijin- foreigner

Genki- happy/energetic

-nensei- grade. For example, 6nensei at shougakkou is a 6th grader at elem. school. At Junior High, an 1nensei is equivalent to an American 7th grader, 2nensei is an 8th grader, and a 3nensei is a high school freshman (high schools are only three years here)

Konbini- convenience store. I may spell it conbini, tho. It is worth note that conbinis here are a million times better than the ones in the States. Mmm, conbinis.

Keitai- cell phone

Hmm, what else?

Nihongo- Japanese

Eigo- English

ganbaru/ganbatte- to endure (there isn't a good translation of it)

Mamachari- granny bike

I'm sure there are more, but that's good for now. Here are some of the acronyms I may use:

BOE- Board of Education, i.e. that horribly far away building that can suck my dick
ALT- Assistant Language Teacher (me)
JTE- Japanese Teacher of English (my co-teacher or whatever)

This has to be the most boring blog post in history. Anyway, there ya go, ya crazy gaijin!

Fun Times at 小学校

So, despite getting up way earlier than usual, not being ready for any of my classes, and biking 15 minutes in typhoon rain and wind (um, hey, wet underwear and swearing loudly to the Japanese gods), shougakkou was a TON of fun today. I openly admit that kids are annoying and should often hide in sound-proof rooms where they won't bother me (good thing I didn't mention that in the JET interview), but my shougakkou kids are sooooo cute! Oh yeah, shougakkou means elementary school.

Anyway, I started off the day by introducing myself to the whole school through a TV broadcast. WTF? It was the most ghetto old-school 1950's newsroom video camera I've ever seen, but I was still impressed. It was broadcast to every room, and I could hear the kids screaming back "HELLOOOOOO!" and stuff from their classrooms. It was fun.

None of my classes crashed and burned, and most of them went extremely well. They all pretty much asked me the same questions..."How big are you?," "Why are you that big?," "Do you have a girlfriend" (one for every day of the week is my answer), etc etc. For some reason shougakkou kids are extremely interested in what bugs I like? I got asked this multiple times. My answer of course was none, and that Japanese bugs are scary radioactive giants.

I ate with the 6nensei, which were not all bitchy and too-cool-for-school like I had heard they would be. They invited me to play soccer during recess, but I sadly had to do prep. for the next class. I will play with them next time, though. I'm sure they'll be amazed by my athletic abilities.

I didn't sleep much last night, but I had tons of energy thanks to the kids (and perhaps partially thanks to two energy drinks I had that made me feel as if my heart was going to burst from my chest at any moment).

So yes, 小学校=let's having fun times!

K, I will stop being a dorky teacher person now. Got to get going to the potluck at Sean's. Hopefully this typhoon agrees with me and lets me bike to the station in peace...

Japan rocks

Just got back from Kadoya, a restaurant two blocks from my apartment. I think it has a gaijin-beckoning machine in it, 'cause every Yabuzuka ALT ever seems to have been a regular there. Anyway, it was a TON of fun 'cause I just spoke in Japanese for two straight hours, which I haven't had a chance to do much since I came here. I love my gaijin, but it was fun to have a more Japanese experience. And good Japanese practice, too! It is hard to make friends when you move to another place, let alone in another country. Then you have to be weary if they're gaijin collectors (friends with you 'cause you're a "cool foreigner"), etc. So it was nice to talk to the owner, a customer, and Nacchan (owner's daughter) and not worry about them being big weirdos. Hehe.

Work went well today, but I taught the same exact lesson for four hours in a row to 1nensei students, and it was surprisingly exhausting.

Not so amused, as I have to do a shitload of shougakkou prep. tonight for tomorrow's lessons, as they changed the lessons after I made lesson plans. Time to ganbaru!

My Japanese boyfriends

I'd like to introduce you to a few special people in my life. I have been seeing them rather regularly for a while now, and I think it's time to announce to the whole world....these are my Japanese boyfriends.

(that's green tea ice cream, for you people who aren't in Japan)

Naughty Pictures

Hello, isn't this the whole point of having a blog that your family doesn't know about? A few random pictures....

Um, this came with my first school lunch. It is a stick of cheese, but it looked like there was a large tampon waiting for me on my lunch tray. Thank god for cell phone cameras.



A picture from the gayest karaoke night ever:



These are on my website, but I feel that they need to be repeated...me and Veronica getting freakay at the enkai:






Aren't we great cultural ambassadors? I'm eagerly awaiting my friends' copies of our "Milkshake" performance from karaoke....DIRRTY!

I debated whether or not to post this one, but I'll do it just for you, Veronica.



"Your jaw unhinges just like a SNAKE!"

Break between classes

So, by popular demand (well, er, two requests), I am going to start a blog, as it is the typical thing to do when one goes somewhere crazy like Japan. Plus this way I can talk all about ME and not care about what you guys are up to! Just kidding. Anyhoo, I figure I can post amusing stories and pictures that I otherwise wouldn’t send to my parents or put on my family-friendly photos page (k, so lap dances with Veronica aren’t so family friendly, but you get the picture).

Anyway, I am currently in the staffroom, as I have the period off. Just had my first official class and it went relatively well. The students were kinda shy and whatnot, but seemed nice enough. I have 3nensei up next, so they should be a bit more jouzu, in theory. Um, I’m not going to bother translating my Jengrish, so you can just deal!

So, my first real day of classes started off amazingly, as everyone was called to a special assembly in the morning to discuss the fact that a 3nensei student punched a teacher in the face! The principal’s speech pretty much consisted of, “I told you last term not to be violent and you were! You shouldn’t be violent, but you should study! See ya!” Ah, I love my gangster school!

Anyway, time to get back to work….