My first two days back at school have reminded me that my kids are weird and funny! For 3nensei classes we did this writing practice where they answer the questions in the textbook. Here is the most amusing answer:
1. What would you like to do if you have enough time and money?
I want to go to heaven.
2. Why would you like to do that?
Because I want to die.
3. How long have you wanted to do that?
Since yesterday.
4. How will you feel when you do that?
I’ll be happy.
In the States that would be written by some scary goth person, but this was by a funny kid so it was okay!
And the answer that I most relate with is:
1. What would you like to do if you have enough time and money?
I want to eat until I am full.
2. Why would you like to do that?
Because eating is important.
Aww, a boy after my own heart! It is kinda sad what some of the kids would do with money, though. One person just wanted to go home so she could sleep? Hello, who doesn’t answer “travel around the world” to that question!
Friday, September 08, 2006
Thursday, September 07, 2006
From Oregon With Love
No, I am not a sentimental jackass, that is the title of a Japanese TV show (Oregon Kara Ai) from like 25 years ago that old people like to bring up when I say I am from there.
Anyway, highlights of my trip!
-So, I hate Northwest Airlines, but I have a shitload of miles on their alliance and it is the only direct flight from Narita to Portland, which makes it more than worth it. I REFUSE lay-overs because I am a bitch like that. So I was all happy to get to the States directly and stuff, but some motherfucking asshole decided to fuck it all up! About halfway through the flight a flight attendant asked if there was a doctor on board, which is never a good sign. It is even worse when they ask like ten times, as if a doctor will randomly appear out of the luggage hold or something. Might I mention that this is the second flight in a year in which they have asked that….I am cursed!
Anyway, this jackass got sick or some shit and we had to fucking stop in ALASKA to drop the bastard off! Normally I would be more sympathetic, but the bastard fucking WALKED off the plane!!! They were making a huge deal about it (they called the Neo Clinic (?) and the NWA center and stuff and no one knew what was wrong with him, so the flight was suggested to make an emergency landing. First of all, it was only supposed to take 30-40 minutes and it took nearly two hours! They sent in these huge firemen to help him out, so I was expecting them to carry the sick guy out….and he gets up and wanders off by himself! Um, if you are healthy enough to walk we are NOT stopping in fucking Alaska to drop you off, motherfucker! Then they had to search for his luggage because FAA makes you take your luggage off with you. THEN they brought on more food, refueled, and EMPTIED THE GARBAGE?!!!!! Um, just get me to Portland! On top of this, Alaska was 90 minutes out of the way, so it took for fucking ever to get home. Not amusing.
-I went to Eugene (where I went for uni) with Holly on Monday and it was so fun! Eugene is weird because when you live there you want to leave, and when you are gone you miss it! Strange, strange. We mainly went there to eat, and eat we did! I had Burrito Boy, the most amazing burrito place in the entire world! God, I missed the Boy. Holly watched me eat lunch there, then I watched her eat lunch at Glendwood. Hahaha. We missed our shit, yo! We went to my precious Eugene location of Trader Joe’s (no hot Kevin to be found, saaaaaaaaad!), where I was recognized by a worker, bad sign. Ah, TJ’s. Then we visited my old apartment and stuff and wandered around the U of O campus. Awww, it was nice to be back! Natsukashikatta!
After that we had an early happy hour and saw The Devil Wears Prada, which was really good! I recommend it, yo. Then we wandered a bit and had Ring of Fire, the best Thai restaurant in the world!!!!! MMMMMMMMMM. I had some rockin’ phad voon sen and then had their AMAZING tempura bananas with home-made coconut ice cream. Holly didn’t want any, so I ate the whole thing by myself! Hmm, I wonder how I got fat during the trip! FUCK, it was amazing. That was worth the $1200 flight right there!
-I caught up all kinds of movies! I watched Thank You for Smoking and…er…shit, I forget what on the plane. Something else I had wanted to see, I forget. Anyway, neither were amazing, sadly. I had high hopes for Thank You, but it wasn’t that great. Hrm. I also rented The Family Stone, Transamerica, and Spellbound. They were all fine but not amazing, either. I rented Capote but didn’t have time to watch it. Then Holly and I went to Quinceanera (yes, the n should have squiggly, Eduardo) and Little Miss Sunshine. Quinceanera is over-rated, in my opinion…it was fine, but also not amazing. LMS was funny, I liked it! Yay for catching up on stuff that will never come here!
-I got to see my little Samuel Clemens!!!!! (my dog, Sammy) She is soooooooooo cute, awwww, I missed her. She didn’t realize who I was for a minute, which is depressing, but she quickly remembered! Awwww, I want her here with me in Japan!!! She wouldn’t look at me on the day I left, she was pissed! I felt bad. Apparently she was pouting all day long, awwww! Little Samuel Clemens is clazy like that.
-Lots of shopping and eating were done! I have new clothes, TONS of products, and about 10 extra pounds on me! I also drank a shitload of alcohol and am currently making amends with my liver. He’s not talking to me right now, but I am sure he will cave in eventually.
-I went to Shanda’s wedding on the last Saturday, which was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fun. It was weird to see (chubby!) GHS alum, but I am so glad I went! Shanda looked AMAZING and their ceremony was sweet! And short! YAY to non-Catholic weddings!!!!!! Aww, I may have gotten a little misty-eyed. Afterwards we danced our asses off and I burned off at least one meal from the vacation :) Aww, it was soooooooooo fun!
I did lots more stuff, but I am too lazy to write about it. I am really glad I went, though. I didn’t realize how much I missed places and my friends and family until I went (and came back to Japan). It was surprising! But it was fun fun fun, yies yies yies.
Now I am back in the land of everything-being-too-short, no car for Jefu, work and muggy weather, bah! But it’s all good, except for the work and weather part. I don’t wanna teach again, I like summer vacation! Also, because I got used to Oregon weather I am seriously sweating my ASS off and looking really embarrassing. I am just covered in sweat and everyone else is fine. Oy.
Anyway, yeah, America=fun, but Japan=fun, too! The end.
Anyway, highlights of my trip!
-So, I hate Northwest Airlines, but I have a shitload of miles on their alliance and it is the only direct flight from Narita to Portland, which makes it more than worth it. I REFUSE lay-overs because I am a bitch like that. So I was all happy to get to the States directly and stuff, but some motherfucking asshole decided to fuck it all up! About halfway through the flight a flight attendant asked if there was a doctor on board, which is never a good sign. It is even worse when they ask like ten times, as if a doctor will randomly appear out of the luggage hold or something. Might I mention that this is the second flight in a year in which they have asked that….I am cursed!
Anyway, this jackass got sick or some shit and we had to fucking stop in ALASKA to drop the bastard off! Normally I would be more sympathetic, but the bastard fucking WALKED off the plane!!! They were making a huge deal about it (they called the Neo Clinic (?) and the NWA center and stuff and no one knew what was wrong with him, so the flight was suggested to make an emergency landing. First of all, it was only supposed to take 30-40 minutes and it took nearly two hours! They sent in these huge firemen to help him out, so I was expecting them to carry the sick guy out….and he gets up and wanders off by himself! Um, if you are healthy enough to walk we are NOT stopping in fucking Alaska to drop you off, motherfucker! Then they had to search for his luggage because FAA makes you take your luggage off with you. THEN they brought on more food, refueled, and EMPTIED THE GARBAGE?!!!!! Um, just get me to Portland! On top of this, Alaska was 90 minutes out of the way, so it took for fucking ever to get home. Not amusing.
-I went to Eugene (where I went for uni) with Holly on Monday and it was so fun! Eugene is weird because when you live there you want to leave, and when you are gone you miss it! Strange, strange. We mainly went there to eat, and eat we did! I had Burrito Boy, the most amazing burrito place in the entire world! God, I missed the Boy. Holly watched me eat lunch there, then I watched her eat lunch at Glendwood. Hahaha. We missed our shit, yo! We went to my precious Eugene location of Trader Joe’s (no hot Kevin to be found, saaaaaaaaad!), where I was recognized by a worker, bad sign. Ah, TJ’s. Then we visited my old apartment and stuff and wandered around the U of O campus. Awww, it was nice to be back! Natsukashikatta!
After that we had an early happy hour and saw The Devil Wears Prada, which was really good! I recommend it, yo. Then we wandered a bit and had Ring of Fire, the best Thai restaurant in the world!!!!! MMMMMMMMMM. I had some rockin’ phad voon sen and then had their AMAZING tempura bananas with home-made coconut ice cream. Holly didn’t want any, so I ate the whole thing by myself! Hmm, I wonder how I got fat during the trip! FUCK, it was amazing. That was worth the $1200 flight right there!
-I caught up all kinds of movies! I watched Thank You for Smoking and…er…shit, I forget what on the plane. Something else I had wanted to see, I forget. Anyway, neither were amazing, sadly. I had high hopes for Thank You, but it wasn’t that great. Hrm. I also rented The Family Stone, Transamerica, and Spellbound. They were all fine but not amazing, either. I rented Capote but didn’t have time to watch it. Then Holly and I went to Quinceanera (yes, the n should have squiggly, Eduardo) and Little Miss Sunshine. Quinceanera is over-rated, in my opinion…it was fine, but also not amazing. LMS was funny, I liked it! Yay for catching up on stuff that will never come here!
-I got to see my little Samuel Clemens!!!!! (my dog, Sammy) She is soooooooooo cute, awwww, I missed her. She didn’t realize who I was for a minute, which is depressing, but she quickly remembered! Awwww, I want her here with me in Japan!!! She wouldn’t look at me on the day I left, she was pissed! I felt bad. Apparently she was pouting all day long, awwww! Little Samuel Clemens is clazy like that.
-Lots of shopping and eating were done! I have new clothes, TONS of products, and about 10 extra pounds on me! I also drank a shitload of alcohol and am currently making amends with my liver. He’s not talking to me right now, but I am sure he will cave in eventually.
-I went to Shanda’s wedding on the last Saturday, which was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo fun. It was weird to see (chubby!) GHS alum, but I am so glad I went! Shanda looked AMAZING and their ceremony was sweet! And short! YAY to non-Catholic weddings!!!!!! Aww, I may have gotten a little misty-eyed. Afterwards we danced our asses off and I burned off at least one meal from the vacation :) Aww, it was soooooooooo fun!
I did lots more stuff, but I am too lazy to write about it. I am really glad I went, though. I didn’t realize how much I missed places and my friends and family until I went (and came back to Japan). It was surprising! But it was fun fun fun, yies yies yies.
Now I am back in the land of everything-being-too-short, no car for Jefu, work and muggy weather, bah! But it’s all good, except for the work and weather part. I don’t wanna teach again, I like summer vacation! Also, because I got used to Oregon weather I am seriously sweating my ASS off and looking really embarrassing. I am just covered in sweat and everyone else is fine. Oy.
Anyway, yeah, America=fun, but Japan=fun, too! The end.
Do do do do America, do do do do America! Do do do do America, do do do do America!
Cant you tell from my subject that I am singing the song from West Side Story? Mmmmhmmmm. Anyway, I went back to the States for 10-ish days! I had a great time…..TONS of shopping, TONS of eating, and TONS of drinking! I gained approximately seven billion kilos over the course of ten days, and I am sure my liver is not amused with me, either, as I drank like 9 of the days! Bad news bears, but fun, so who cares!
Anyway, I will write about the trip later….I will just write random thoughts for now:
-Dude, I forgot what it felt like to live in a country that isn’t ridiculously humid!!! People were complaining about the heat and I was like, “you think this is hot?!” It was sooooooooooooo nice to not be sweating all of the time (and barely sweating at all ever!). However, I was a huge pussy when it came to the “cold,” as it got cool a couple of the nights and I was freezing my damn ass off!
-It wasn’t too weird to drive for the first time in 13 months, but I did have about five driving-on-the-left-side incidents. Fortunately most of them occurred when I was only the passenger!
-It is weird, because literally RIGHT when I get back to the States, I go back into American mode. The same thing happened last time I went back (after study abroad). Right when I get in the airport it feels like I haven’t spent however long in Japan and nothing is TOO strange and foreign. In fact, I had more reverse culture shock at Narita than in Oregon! But that was a pleasant surprise. Other than seriously staring at all of the faaaaaaaaaaaaaat people and freaking out about how tall everyone around me was, I didn’t have many issues.
-Because I was in American mode, it also didn’t seem like it had been 13 months since having good cheeses, good wine, prosciutto, cheap Mexican food, microbrews, gooooooood pizza, Thai food, good Chinese food, etc. Like, it was nice to have them, but it didn’t seem like I had been dreaming about them for 13 months (yes, I am a loser)! Strange.
-Service workers in the States aren’t as rude as I remember them, yo! I thought I would freak out that they didn’t have a Japanese way of service about them, but everyone was way nice! It was creepy! I did seem retarded half the time, though, because I don’t remember how to make stupid small talk and answer the random questions they ask at registers and stuff. I sounded like a foreign exchange student or something!
-Although I had English issues while there (dude, any optional vocab words have been completely erased from my mind), I didn’t have too many accidental Japanese moments! I nearly sumimasen-ed waiters for the first few days (the closest I came was opening my mouth to say it to an Asian-American waiter….sneaky non-Asian Asians! Hehehehe), but I did a lot better than I thought. However, a world without “abunai,” “deshou,” and “neeeeee!” is a world I don’t want to be a part of!
I am sure I have more shit to say, but this is boring so I will end it!
Anyway, I will write about the trip later….I will just write random thoughts for now:
-Dude, I forgot what it felt like to live in a country that isn’t ridiculously humid!!! People were complaining about the heat and I was like, “you think this is hot?!” It was sooooooooooooo nice to not be sweating all of the time (and barely sweating at all ever!). However, I was a huge pussy when it came to the “cold,” as it got cool a couple of the nights and I was freezing my damn ass off!
-It wasn’t too weird to drive for the first time in 13 months, but I did have about five driving-on-the-left-side incidents. Fortunately most of them occurred when I was only the passenger!
-It is weird, because literally RIGHT when I get back to the States, I go back into American mode. The same thing happened last time I went back (after study abroad). Right when I get in the airport it feels like I haven’t spent however long in Japan and nothing is TOO strange and foreign. In fact, I had more reverse culture shock at Narita than in Oregon! But that was a pleasant surprise. Other than seriously staring at all of the faaaaaaaaaaaaaat people and freaking out about how tall everyone around me was, I didn’t have many issues.
-Because I was in American mode, it also didn’t seem like it had been 13 months since having good cheeses, good wine, prosciutto, cheap Mexican food, microbrews, gooooooood pizza, Thai food, good Chinese food, etc. Like, it was nice to have them, but it didn’t seem like I had been dreaming about them for 13 months (yes, I am a loser)! Strange.
-Service workers in the States aren’t as rude as I remember them, yo! I thought I would freak out that they didn’t have a Japanese way of service about them, but everyone was way nice! It was creepy! I did seem retarded half the time, though, because I don’t remember how to make stupid small talk and answer the random questions they ask at registers and stuff. I sounded like a foreign exchange student or something!
-Although I had English issues while there (dude, any optional vocab words have been completely erased from my mind), I didn’t have too many accidental Japanese moments! I nearly sumimasen-ed waiters for the first few days (the closest I came was opening my mouth to say it to an Asian-American waiter….sneaky non-Asian Asians! Hehehehe), but I did a lot better than I thought. However, a world without “abunai,” “deshou,” and “neeeeee!” is a world I don’t want to be a part of!
I am sure I have more shit to say, but this is boring so I will end it!
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