Friday, January 20, 2006
An Apple a day….
I can’t believe I haven’t mentioned the electronic orgasm known as the MacBook Pro. Feel free to buy me one if you wish. DROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.
Okay by me in America
So, last night, I finally was forced to do presentation on America/Oregon that I was literally booked to do AT LEAST four months ago. Crazy Japanese people. For those of you who don’t remember every minute detail of my life (how dare you!), I had to give a presentation for 60-90 minutes in Japanese about home to whoever showed up at the Yabuzuka naninaninani place. Like, learning/meeting place. I dunno what you’d call it in English.
Needless to say, I choreographed an elaborate song and dance number in which I did my best Chita Rivera impression and argued the merits of America with a bunch of strapping young Puerto Rican men. Or I made a Powerpoint presentation. Either one. Anyway, I made a slideshow with pics of Oregon/various trips around America (NYC, Grand Canyon, SF, etc.), my high school, U of O, etc. to show various aspects of life in America. However, that is all of the preparation I did for it….I believe it may have shown ;)
I went there last night hoping that the only people there would be those I knew were coming (Jenny (bless her heart, and also, kawaisou), Nacchan, and Atsuko), but like 15 people showed up?! Surprising…I’m not exactly sure why they came! Of course, just like in the States, the only people to show up to free things put on by the town were all over the age of 70, hee hee. Oh, except for one of my shougakkou kids, who I feared may commit suicide out of pure boredom during the presentation. There are some tense issues in that sentence, but I can’t fix them. Deal with my broken English, muahahaha!
Anyway. Um. Oh, yeah, presentation. So, the pictures took about a half hour, and then I took questions from the audience about whatever. I guess it went pretty well? It was hard to talk about in Japanese because I haven’t talked about anything deep or complicated in Japanese for a long time. Regular conversations don’t compare to “Well, in Japan, you only have entrance exams to college (I don’t even know if that is correct), but in America, it is a combination of SAT scores, your grades, and activities outside of school. Even with those, it is possible you won’t be able to get into the school that you want to. It all just depends,” and so forth. Needless to say, many of my sentences ended halfway through! Hee hee. I also was scared (with good reason) because ojiichan and obaachan’s Japanese is hard to fucking understand! Even young Japanese people can’t understand what the hell they’re saying! I did pretty well, but totally didn’t understand one question. Oops! :) But I guess it went fine, who knows!
In the end it lasted about 70 minutes….I wanted to hang around and talk to people (or at least to my friends), but my ride (a guy from the kouminkan) literally had his car outside the door, ready to pick me up about TEN SECONDS after the speech was done. You would have thought he had planted bombs in the place set to explode at 8:42, he was in such a hurry to get the hell outta there.
It was worth doing, tho, if only because afterwards Nacchan and Atsuko stopped by with a gift of wine, chips, chocolate, crackers, and Coke for me! Awwww, how sweet! It was a “gokuorousama” present. Yay!
Needless to say, I choreographed an elaborate song and dance number in which I did my best Chita Rivera impression and argued the merits of America with a bunch of strapping young Puerto Rican men. Or I made a Powerpoint presentation. Either one. Anyway, I made a slideshow with pics of Oregon/various trips around America (NYC, Grand Canyon, SF, etc.), my high school, U of O, etc. to show various aspects of life in America. However, that is all of the preparation I did for it….I believe it may have shown ;)
I went there last night hoping that the only people there would be those I knew were coming (Jenny (bless her heart, and also, kawaisou), Nacchan, and Atsuko), but like 15 people showed up?! Surprising…I’m not exactly sure why they came! Of course, just like in the States, the only people to show up to free things put on by the town were all over the age of 70, hee hee. Oh, except for one of my shougakkou kids, who I feared may commit suicide out of pure boredom during the presentation. There are some tense issues in that sentence, but I can’t fix them. Deal with my broken English, muahahaha!
Anyway. Um. Oh, yeah, presentation. So, the pictures took about a half hour, and then I took questions from the audience about whatever. I guess it went pretty well? It was hard to talk about in Japanese because I haven’t talked about anything deep or complicated in Japanese for a long time. Regular conversations don’t compare to “Well, in Japan, you only have entrance exams to college (I don’t even know if that is correct), but in America, it is a combination of SAT scores, your grades, and activities outside of school. Even with those, it is possible you won’t be able to get into the school that you want to. It all just depends,” and so forth. Needless to say, many of my sentences ended halfway through! Hee hee. I also was scared (with good reason) because ojiichan and obaachan’s Japanese is hard to fucking understand! Even young Japanese people can’t understand what the hell they’re saying! I did pretty well, but totally didn’t understand one question. Oops! :) But I guess it went fine, who knows!
In the end it lasted about 70 minutes….I wanted to hang around and talk to people (or at least to my friends), but my ride (a guy from the kouminkan) literally had his car outside the door, ready to pick me up about TEN SECONDS after the speech was done. You would have thought he had planted bombs in the place set to explode at 8:42, he was in such a hurry to get the hell outta there.
It was worth doing, tho, if only because afterwards Nacchan and Atsuko stopped by with a gift of wine, chips, chocolate, crackers, and Coke for me! Awwww, how sweet! It was a “gokuorousama” present. Yay!
You know it’s bad when Mexicans are teaching me English
K, my English is OFFICIALLY fucked up, yo. I don’t get how….it’s not like I’m never around gaijin! Nevertheless, it is beyond repair at the moment! Maybe it is because I am used to dumbing it down for school kids? Who knows. All I know is, sometimes my students know the correct answers to English questions before I do!
Last night I was talking to Eduardo online for a minute before he went to work, and I was wishing him a great day (you know, because I’m an amazingly sweet boyfriend like that). I had had a long Thursday, so I told him, “I hope your day is less long than mine!!!” to which he responded, “less long or shorter?” It literally took me like two minutes to realize what he was talking about. SAD! Hello, I shouldn’t have to be taught English by a Mexican! This is a sad state of the union, my friends! (I don’t know why it is the state of the union…I have been reading too much Sarah Vowell)
Oh, well, at least I know Cindy’s English sucks at the moment, too, muahahaha! However, that does make sense, as we are the same person….
Last night I was talking to Eduardo online for a minute before he went to work, and I was wishing him a great day (you know, because I’m an amazingly sweet boyfriend like that). I had had a long Thursday, so I told him, “I hope your day is less long than mine!!!” to which he responded, “less long or shorter?” It literally took me like two minutes to realize what he was talking about. SAD! Hello, I shouldn’t have to be taught English by a Mexican! This is a sad state of the union, my friends! (I don’t know why it is the state of the union…I have been reading too much Sarah Vowell)
Oh, well, at least I know Cindy’s English sucks at the moment, too, muahahaha! However, that does make sense, as we are the same person….
Let’s Being Possibly Racist!
K, so it is so cold that in the last 12 hours, my hands have been cut and started bleeding for like no reason. Hello, I put moisturizer on my hands twice a day, how can they be that dry?! Yes, gross, but that brings up the topic of this post!
Last night it happened and I was like “What the fuck?!” I was holding a piece of paper at the time, so I told the Japanese people, “Oh, maybe I got a papercut,” to which they responded (in a state of shock), “……….cut by paper? Your skin must be weak!” Now, this begs the question, do Japanese people NOT get papercuts?! Is their skin thicker than ours? This sounds like a fake question, but it is possible! Somehow they have the magical ability to hold so-hot-they-could-be-radioactive things in their hands and not really notice, so maybe my poor Whitey McWhiterson skin doesn’t compare to the People of the Sun? I’m not sure.
Perhaps this could inspire a science test. Go up to Japanese people at random and try to cut them with a combination of blunt and sharp things and see what the results are. Report back here immediately!
Last night it happened and I was like “What the fuck?!” I was holding a piece of paper at the time, so I told the Japanese people, “Oh, maybe I got a papercut,” to which they responded (in a state of shock), “……….cut by paper? Your skin must be weak!” Now, this begs the question, do Japanese people NOT get papercuts?! Is their skin thicker than ours? This sounds like a fake question, but it is possible! Somehow they have the magical ability to hold so-hot-they-could-be-radioactive things in their hands and not really notice, so maybe my poor Whitey McWhiterson skin doesn’t compare to the People of the Sun? I’m not sure.
Perhaps this could inspire a science test. Go up to Japanese people at random and try to cut them with a combination of blunt and sharp things and see what the results are. Report back here immediately!
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Silly Kids
Today I had 3-5, which is the creepiest, quietest class in the entire world. Like, they would be eerily quiet in any school, let alone Yabuchuu, where I am used to items being thrown about while I am talking. We had a talking activity today, which worried me, as they NEVER make a sound, even if I ask them to. They were surprisingly talkative, though, which was nice.
Anyway, the activity was using “I can ______.” I was walking around when I heard this one boy saying “I can speak Parseltongue!” I was very amused by the completely random Harry Potter reference, and the fact that he knew that word (and said it in good English!), so I started laughing. He then proceeded to pretend to talk to his friends in Parseltongue for literally at least five minutes.
It sounds really nerdy on paper, but he is kind of a “cool” kid, so it was funny. Crazy Asians and their love for Harry Potter!
Anyway, the activity was using “I can ______.” I was walking around when I heard this one boy saying “I can speak Parseltongue!” I was very amused by the completely random Harry Potter reference, and the fact that he knew that word (and said it in good English!), so I started laughing. He then proceeded to pretend to talk to his friends in Parseltongue for literally at least five minutes.
It sounds really nerdy on paper, but he is kind of a “cool” kid, so it was funny. Crazy Asians and their love for Harry Potter!
Fucking Culture Board!
So, yesterday was the crappiest day at shougakkou EVER! I was feeling like crap from being sick and not getting enough sleep, so I barely made it through my five classes…..then, after that, instead of having my usual period off before going home, I had to start work on my culture board. Every ALT in Ota has to make a culture board with their shougakkou that shows the culture of their home country/state/whatever. I had my kids draw pictures for me, so I thought it would be easy to put together….um, yeah, not so much. Don’t even ask how, but the damn board took more than TWO HOURS to put together, including one hour of overtime! WTF! Not acceptable, least of all at shougakkou! Let’s just say, never let perfectionist Japanese people in on any artwork-related activities. Actually, any activities at all, really! The only reason I stayed late doing it was because it was due next week and I wouldn’t be back there for two weeks.
After that, I biked straight to Fujimart and allowed myself to buy anything that looked good….a true sign of a bad day. So, Jeff had a good, big-ass dinner, with one a half Chuhi (girly drinks) by himself. Yay, Jeff the alcoholic.
One good thing about the shitty tiring day is that I was so damn tired that I miraculously fell asleep at 9:30. I don’t think that has happened since like 6th grade! 9 1/2 hours of sleep felt AMAZING!!!
I came to work this morning and got a call from my shougakkou advisor lady saying that she had just talked to Mr. Onda (the Ota ALT “supervisor”), and he informed her that since other ALTs have been behind on their culture boards, the fucking deadline has been changed to MARCH. And since I have extra time, I am supposed to add things (writings? I’m confused) to the fucking board! FUCK THAT SHIT! Bah!!!!!!!!
After that, I biked straight to Fujimart and allowed myself to buy anything that looked good….a true sign of a bad day. So, Jeff had a good, big-ass dinner, with one a half Chuhi (girly drinks) by himself. Yay, Jeff the alcoholic.
One good thing about the shitty tiring day is that I was so damn tired that I miraculously fell asleep at 9:30. I don’t think that has happened since like 6th grade! 9 1/2 hours of sleep felt AMAZING!!!
I came to work this morning and got a call from my shougakkou advisor lady saying that she had just talked to Mr. Onda (the Ota ALT “supervisor”), and he informed her that since other ALTs have been behind on their culture boards, the fucking deadline has been changed to MARCH. And since I have extra time, I am supposed to add things (writings? I’m confused) to the fucking board! FUCK THAT SHIT! Bah!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
They grow up so fast, sniff sniff
Am I the only one noticing my students getting hella taller and older all of a sudden?! Like, during winter break, and a little before that? The 1nensei look like 2nensei! The 2nensei look like 3nensei! And the 3nensei are becoming hot high school boys! Not that I’d ever think of them that way ;)
Help Wanted
Looking for a personal assistant. Job duties include, but are not restricted to: making lesson plans, making photocopies, teaching at shougakkou, cooking, doing laundry, cleaning apartment.
Salary: No money, per se, but you will get my EXTREME gratitude!
Now taking applicants. Arigats!
Salary: No money, per se, but you will get my EXTREME gratitude!
Now taking applicants. Arigats!
Monday, January 16, 2006
Lazy Weekend
For the first time in far too long, I had a relaxed weekend and I loved every minute of it! On Friday night I went to Maebashi with Cindy and Jenny to meet up with other peeps for Hayley’s surprise birthday party. Happy birthday, Hayley!!! It was a lot of fun, and was nice to see everyone. The lovely Helen volunteered to drive the three of us home (a decision I’m sure she regretted, as she learned the hard way that “Ota” is a very spread-out city!). I introduced the girls’ to the WONDERS of Ministop’s chocoman, and I’m glad I’m not the only addict now! Chocoman are like man (they sell them at conbini…they are like Chinese dumplings? Like, the pork kind and stuff), but the bread is chocolatey, and it’s filled with warm chocolate. OH MY GOD, it is like an orgasm, but better. Sorry, Eduardo, you have been replaced by another man! Hahaha, get it? That’s so punny. Oy.
Anyway! On Saturday, Jenny, Cindy, Ann and I went to AEON (which I hadn’t been to in a month! Far too long, my friends) and saw Pride and Prejudice. Awww, it was so sweet and romantic! It was good shtuff. Too bad Mr. Darcy wasn’t hot. Still good, tho. After the movie I had to take advantage of a couple of the MANY sales happening at AEON this month (I highly encourage everyone to go to HMV after pay day), then we went into Ota and had dinner with Sean and Pete at Typhoon. Yes, Typhoon, the place that we ate at approximately 700 times in one week in August. Fortunately it had been long enough ago that I actually enjoyed it (does that English make sense? I’m not sure).
On Sunday I FINALLY talked to Eduardo for the first time in like a month (in non-E-Mail form, that is), which was muy muy nice! Awww. I miss my man! Anyway, I talked to Eduardo for like two hours, then I was muy productive and cleaned my (now formerly) nasty-ass apartment HARDCORE. I vacuumed, scrubbed the floors, hung out my futon and blankets, cleaned the shower, did laundry, cleaned the bathroom, did dishes, dusted…..it was hardcore shit, yo. My apartment is so nice now that I don’t want to do anything in it out of fear of getting it dirty again! Perhaps that can be my new reason for not cooking this week (Jeff now doesn’t cook in the winter. Thank god for Fujimart and Ministop!).
After cleaning I finished Nip/Tuck season three (I may have watched two seasons in two weeks…….). I was disappointed in the finale! I will have to discuss with any fans out there.
Anyway, yes, that was my weekend. SO thrilling to read about, I’m sure! The internet is STILL down at work and I am not amused by this whatsoever. What is with Japanese people NOT caring that they can’t use the internet? They are so weird!
Anyway! On Saturday, Jenny, Cindy, Ann and I went to AEON (which I hadn’t been to in a month! Far too long, my friends) and saw Pride and Prejudice. Awww, it was so sweet and romantic! It was good shtuff. Too bad Mr. Darcy wasn’t hot. Still good, tho. After the movie I had to take advantage of a couple of the MANY sales happening at AEON this month (I highly encourage everyone to go to HMV after pay day), then we went into Ota and had dinner with Sean and Pete at Typhoon. Yes, Typhoon, the place that we ate at approximately 700 times in one week in August. Fortunately it had been long enough ago that I actually enjoyed it (does that English make sense? I’m not sure).
On Sunday I FINALLY talked to Eduardo for the first time in like a month (in non-E-Mail form, that is), which was muy muy nice! Awww. I miss my man! Anyway, I talked to Eduardo for like two hours, then I was muy productive and cleaned my (now formerly) nasty-ass apartment HARDCORE. I vacuumed, scrubbed the floors, hung out my futon and blankets, cleaned the shower, did laundry, cleaned the bathroom, did dishes, dusted…..it was hardcore shit, yo. My apartment is so nice now that I don’t want to do anything in it out of fear of getting it dirty again! Perhaps that can be my new reason for not cooking this week (Jeff now doesn’t cook in the winter. Thank god for Fujimart and Ministop!).
After cleaning I finished Nip/Tuck season three (I may have watched two seasons in two weeks…….). I was disappointed in the finale! I will have to discuss with any fans out there.
Anyway, yes, that was my weekend. SO thrilling to read about, I’m sure! The internet is STILL down at work and I am not amused by this whatsoever. What is with Japanese people NOT caring that they can’t use the internet? They are so weird!
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