K, I realized two things about myself that scared me today:
1. I worked hard today! Like, literally all day. I worked my ass off to plan next week's classes with the little time I was given. Then I was a good teacher and genki and shit, even though I was really tired. Since there were so many people gone from work today, I pretty much served the whole lunch to all of the staff (I had a few issues distributing even amounts but whatever), then was SUPER genki for 7kumi (special needs) 'cause they fucking rock. Then after that I planned lessons and stayed AFTER 4:15 ON A FRIDAY? What the hell?
2. I am becoming a nice, sharing person? What is that all about? Those of you that really know me know I'm a big fat bitch when it comes to a) sharing gum, b) sharing DVDs, and c) sharing books. Gum is my precious nicotine, and you'd better believe I don't offer it to people, and I often pretend it's my last stick if they ask me! But here (where there is no American gum to be found), I offer it to people?!
I am usually semi-nice about sharing DVDs, but box sets are usually off-limits as people tend to fuck up the boxes, and they are my babies. But now I'm like, "Yeah, sure, you should totally borrow that and this and that and this!" I even made a list of DVDs and books that I have so people could borrow them!
Which brings us to books. I am the biggest bitch about books EVER. My usual response to "Hey, Jeff, can I borrow that book?" would be "Fuck you, you'll just fuck that shit up and I don't want no fucking bent-up, torn-up, dog-earred book back, bitch!" But I currently have two books lent-out! I don't know what is happening to me.
If I become a nice, hard-working person after this experience, I will not be happy with myself!
Friday, September 30, 2005
Alcoholics Anonymous
Dude, my co-workers are freaking ALCOHOLICS! Or at least occasional drunkards. They make us Ota ALTs look like responsible citizens. I had to like be in charge of kyushoku (lunch) today because so many people were gone from being hungover! Literally about 1/3 of the teachers called in sick today because they were so damn hungover from last night! It is strange, since most Japanese people have the amazing ability to drink ridiculous amounts one night, then wake up genki as hell at 6 AM to work (or at least pretend to be genki). Apparently that doesn’t happen at Yabuchuu!
The teachers that actually came to work today look like they’re about to fall over, too. Actually, in 7kumi (special needs class), the Sensei had to sit down multiple times because she literally was falling over. Her eyes were closed for the whole lesson and she kept massaging her temples. Hehehe, too amusing.
Fortunately, I was able to take advantage of my coworkers in their weakened state and actually talk to and bond with a few of them today! Muahaha! I'm so sneaky.
The teachers that actually came to work today look like they’re about to fall over, too. Actually, in 7kumi (special needs class), the Sensei had to sit down multiple times because she literally was falling over. Her eyes were closed for the whole lesson and she kept massaging her temples. Hehehe, too amusing.
Fortunately, I was able to take advantage of my coworkers in their weakened state and actually talk to and bond with a few of them today! Muahaha! I'm so sneaky.
Tsukareta!!!
So for some reason it feels like I haven’t been home all week. I guess it’s because I’ve had something to do every night after work. Damn social obligations ;) Wednesday night’s potluck was a lot of fun. It was nice to have so many people over at my place. I don’t know HOW we fit 15 people in my living room….it’s a good thing we’re one big happy family, since we all pretty much had to molest each other to fit in there! Dinner was good, tho there was a lack of communication and we had no salad and like ten desserts, hahaha. But that is very fitting, knowing me and my friends! We had guacamole and chips, bread, quesadillas (mmmm, thanks, Emily!), yakisoba, then donuts, DELICIOUS roll cake (Grant, I am now addicted to that shit, holie….moist and delicious, indeed!), cookies, chocolate and bananas…hmm…maybe more? I don’t even want to remember! Oh, and of course lots fine and other alcoholic beverages. Anyway, thanks everyone, for coming! Now that you know where I live, I expect visitors on a regular basis. Yabuzuka IS the place to be. And Veronica, maybe next time it will take less than 90 minutes to get there, hee hee hee.
Yesterday (Thursday), there was an ALT seminar in Isesaki, and BOY WAS IT FUN! Er, not really. The only reason it was semi-entertaining was ‘cause of fellow ALTs, but it was still hella boring. Now I know how my students feel in class, Jesus! Cindy, Angie, Jenny and I were the horrible students in the back, writing each other notes, laughing, gossiping, and texting people on our keitai. Might I mention that we were getting paid $20/hr while doing this, hee hee. Anyway, the morning shit was really boring, but the afternoon wasn’t so bad. We were broken into groups and had a few presenters talk about shit, then we broke into sub-groups and talked about classes and stuff. Thank god for Jeff, as he set the “fuck this shit, let’s just talk about random shit for an hour and a half!” tone in our group! We discussed such vital topics as how huge Japanese crows are, Japanese kids wearing helmets while walking to school, scary Japanese insects, and more. At the end the two sub-groups had to report back on what we talked about, and the other group was all serious and shit, and we were the slackers. Oh, well, someone’s gotta entertain the masses!
After the seminar I went out to dinner with Cindy, Jenny and Pete in good ol’ Nitta. Got some dessert at the conbini (God forbid we not have dessert every night), then biked home as slowly as humanly possible, as I was bloody exhausted.
Thank GOD I skipped the nomikai last night (drinking party) with my co-workers, ‘cause all of the teachers are SO hung-over today, it is hilarious! Everyone is barely talking and just kinda wandering around with a blank expression on their face. Well, more than usual, hee hee. Apparently some of the students were like, “What is wrong with the teachers today? They look tired and scary! Are they sick?” Hee hee hee. Little do they know….
Anyway, I should theoretically go plan next week’s lessons. My new period schedule starts next week, and I’m not amused, ‘cause I have all three grades on Mondays now. Organization, what’s that?!
Yesterday (Thursday), there was an ALT seminar in Isesaki, and BOY WAS IT FUN! Er, not really. The only reason it was semi-entertaining was ‘cause of fellow ALTs, but it was still hella boring. Now I know how my students feel in class, Jesus! Cindy, Angie, Jenny and I were the horrible students in the back, writing each other notes, laughing, gossiping, and texting people on our keitai. Might I mention that we were getting paid $20/hr while doing this, hee hee. Anyway, the morning shit was really boring, but the afternoon wasn’t so bad. We were broken into groups and had a few presenters talk about shit, then we broke into sub-groups and talked about classes and stuff. Thank god for Jeff, as he set the “fuck this shit, let’s just talk about random shit for an hour and a half!” tone in our group! We discussed such vital topics as how huge Japanese crows are, Japanese kids wearing helmets while walking to school, scary Japanese insects, and more. At the end the two sub-groups had to report back on what we talked about, and the other group was all serious and shit, and we were the slackers. Oh, well, someone’s gotta entertain the masses!
After the seminar I went out to dinner with Cindy, Jenny and Pete in good ol’ Nitta. Got some dessert at the conbini (God forbid we not have dessert every night), then biked home as slowly as humanly possible, as I was bloody exhausted.
Thank GOD I skipped the nomikai last night (drinking party) with my co-workers, ‘cause all of the teachers are SO hung-over today, it is hilarious! Everyone is barely talking and just kinda wandering around with a blank expression on their face. Well, more than usual, hee hee. Apparently some of the students were like, “What is wrong with the teachers today? They look tired and scary! Are they sick?” Hee hee hee. Little do they know….
Anyway, I should theoretically go plan next week’s lessons. My new period schedule starts next week, and I’m not amused, ‘cause I have all three grades on Mondays now. Organization, what’s that?!
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
I'm a good cultural ambassador
So, tonight's dinner was fun! The highlight had to be after all of the gaijin left, and Grant and I introduced Mami, Minako and Kiyo to the wonderful world of gay porn (of the non-Japanese variety). Grant had his computer with him, so they got to watch multiple movies at once. Some of their translated comments included:
"He's SO CUTE!!!!" (as the guy was fucking someone up the ass....this quote was said over and over and over)
"It's HUGE!"
"If anything that huge ever entered me, I would die!"
"That would come up to HERE on me!" *points to breasts*
"Sad, that guy didn't cum very far!"
"After all of this, I won't be able to sleep tonight!"
"Compared to straight sex, this is like gymnastics!"
Hmm, I'm sure there are more, but I sadly can't recall them. Needless to say, Grant and I were laughing way too hard to even focus on the content of the movies (and that takes a lot!).
"He's SO CUTE!!!!" (as the guy was fucking someone up the ass....this quote was said over and over and over)
"It's HUGE!"
"If anything that huge ever entered me, I would die!"
"That would come up to HERE on me!" *points to breasts*
"Sad, that guy didn't cum very far!"
"After all of this, I won't be able to sleep tonight!"
"Compared to straight sex, this is like gymnastics!"
Hmm, I'm sure there are more, but I sadly can't recall them. Needless to say, Grant and I were laughing way too hard to even focus on the content of the movies (and that takes a lot!).
Proof that Japan is crazy
1. Today at the Fujimart I was bagging my groceries, when this worker comes up and sneakily adds a big-ass container of Q-Tips* in my bag and walks off. Actually, she did this all while walking, without breaking her stride. Um, WTF? Either she saw my ear wax from 50 feet away and was like "oh, honey, here you go," or it was some kind of crazy-ass saabisu (service....such as getting toilet paper at the gas station. Ya know, like ya do). However, I didn't see anyone else getting Q-Tips. Sad.
*I would translate Q-Tips for the non-Americans, but I forget what you crazy bastards call them
2. I saw a small bug above my bed, so I killed it with a kleenex, only to find a big-ass splatter of blood on my wall! This was a tiny fucking bug, and but now my wall has a fucking blood stain like three times its size! What the hell? Since when do bugs bleed like that?
*I would translate Q-Tips for the non-Americans, but I forget what you crazy bastards call them
2. I saw a small bug above my bed, so I killed it with a kleenex, only to find a big-ass splatter of blood on my wall! This was a tiny fucking bug, and but now my wall has a fucking blood stain like three times its size! What the hell? Since when do bugs bleed like that?
Jeff ain't got shit to do at shougakkou
I am currently at shougakkou. They gave me the last period off, which doesn't make much sense to me because a) I like breaks in the middle of the day, especially after playing with kids and b) Jeff ain't got shit to do! I wish they would let me go home so I could get started on my shitload of yakisoba I'm making for tonight! I am having the weekly potluck at my house tonight and I am making yakisoba and guacamole.
Actually, let me rephrase and bitch for a bit! I made the guacamole last night and it took a combined total of four damn hours! You bitches better like this fucking guacamole! Hehehe. On Sunday I did a biking tour of the surrounding area in order to find avocados that werent bloody bright green (not an easy feat in Japan at this time of year). I made it last night because it takes so long and is SO messy....welcome to Mexican cuisine (I do other things with Mexicans that take a long time and make me messy, but that's another story)! But it's good 'cause I know people like it, and I like cooking for other people much more than cooking just for myself. I accidentally went overboard on the salt, tho, so I am gonna have to get another avocado (hrm, I hope I can find a good one) and tomato tonight and attempt to balance it.
Anyway, today was shougakkou and it was a lot of fun. I woke up dreading it because I was so bloody tired, but the kids woke me up (and I had a little help from my Japanese "vitamin drink," which is basically a drink with a ridiculous amount of caffeine and a few vitamins. I'm sure each sip takes ten years off my life but oh well). My first class failed miserably, but I adjusted the lesson plan for the rest of the classes. I feared that one class wouldn't ask me enough questions (it was my first day with all of these classes and I always allow them to ask as many questions as they want to), but they asked so many that it took up the whole 50 minutes! So, that was cool. I was also amazed because I had the most filling kyushoku ever, and at shougakkou of all places! I dont know how that happened, but Jeff was a happy man, indeed.
I was surprised because my Kyoto Sensei (vice principal) from chuugakkou called me today and invited me to a nomikai (drinking party) after tomorrow's undoukai. I am going to be in Isesaki for a conference, but he said I could come after that. I was amazed because the staff doesn't talk to me at all, so I wouldn't expect them to invite me at all, hehehe. So, it was cool to be invited, but I think Id rather have dinner with ALTs in Isesaki, plus I am drinking wine tonight, so I dont need to drink again tomorrow (hmm, I wouldn't expect Jeff the alcoholic to say that...yay, that means I can postpone AA for a couple more weeks).
As a sidenote, what do they call AA (alcoholics anonymous) in England and (I assume) Australia? 'Cause AAA (the car service thing) is AA in England....maybe they are such alcoholics that they refuse to start up AA in those countries. Hmm. Post comments and enlighten us Americans, people!
K, this entry is incredibly boring. Back to reading my book!
Actually, let me rephrase and bitch for a bit! I made the guacamole last night and it took a combined total of four damn hours! You bitches better like this fucking guacamole! Hehehe. On Sunday I did a biking tour of the surrounding area in order to find avocados that werent bloody bright green (not an easy feat in Japan at this time of year). I made it last night because it takes so long and is SO messy....welcome to Mexican cuisine (I do other things with Mexicans that take a long time and make me messy, but that's another story)! But it's good 'cause I know people like it, and I like cooking for other people much more than cooking just for myself. I accidentally went overboard on the salt, tho, so I am gonna have to get another avocado (hrm, I hope I can find a good one) and tomato tonight and attempt to balance it.
Anyway, today was shougakkou and it was a lot of fun. I woke up dreading it because I was so bloody tired, but the kids woke me up (and I had a little help from my Japanese "vitamin drink," which is basically a drink with a ridiculous amount of caffeine and a few vitamins. I'm sure each sip takes ten years off my life but oh well). My first class failed miserably, but I adjusted the lesson plan for the rest of the classes. I feared that one class wouldn't ask me enough questions (it was my first day with all of these classes and I always allow them to ask as many questions as they want to), but they asked so many that it took up the whole 50 minutes! So, that was cool. I was also amazed because I had the most filling kyushoku ever, and at shougakkou of all places! I dont know how that happened, but Jeff was a happy man, indeed.
I was surprised because my Kyoto Sensei (vice principal) from chuugakkou called me today and invited me to a nomikai (drinking party) after tomorrow's undoukai. I am going to be in Isesaki for a conference, but he said I could come after that. I was amazed because the staff doesn't talk to me at all, so I wouldn't expect them to invite me at all, hehehe. So, it was cool to be invited, but I think Id rather have dinner with ALTs in Isesaki, plus I am drinking wine tonight, so I dont need to drink again tomorrow (hmm, I wouldn't expect Jeff the alcoholic to say that...yay, that means I can postpone AA for a couple more weeks).
As a sidenote, what do they call AA (alcoholics anonymous) in England and (I assume) Australia? 'Cause AAA (the car service thing) is AA in England....maybe they are such alcoholics that they refuse to start up AA in those countries. Hmm. Post comments and enlighten us Americans, people!
K, this entry is incredibly boring. Back to reading my book!
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Undoukai Prep, Part Two
As I said, undoukai prep is pretty boring to watch for an hour. However, the highlight of it has to be rajio taisou, which translates as “radio gymnastics.” It pretty much consists of the entire school swinging their arms around and “exercising” while listening to ice cream man music. It is really damn amusing, and I suggest that you google it if you are bored.
While watching my students do rajio taisou, however, I suddenly remembered that the last time I saw it “performed” was at Paradise Ball. For some reason they mixed it in with the music at the pool, so a ton of half-naked gay men were doing rajio taisou. I think I prefer that over a bunch off 11 year-olds.
The other amusing thing to watch today was the choir teacher (I think she’s the choir teacher?) practice our really, really bad school theme song with the entire school over and over and over and over and over and over and over. It is currently in my head, and I don’t even know the words. The students were not feelin’ the theme song so much, so it was funny to watch her think that they were getting better, when all you could really hear was her voice out of the 600 people singing.
While watching my students do rajio taisou, however, I suddenly remembered that the last time I saw it “performed” was at Paradise Ball. For some reason they mixed it in with the music at the pool, so a ton of half-naked gay men were doing rajio taisou. I think I prefer that over a bunch off 11 year-olds.
The other amusing thing to watch today was the choir teacher (I think she’s the choir teacher?) practice our really, really bad school theme song with the entire school over and over and over and over and over and over and over. It is currently in my head, and I don’t even know the words. The students were not feelin’ the theme song so much, so it was funny to watch her think that they were getting better, when all you could really hear was her voice out of the 600 people singing.
Babbling
Last night Cindy, Veronica, Emily and I went to Grow Up in Tatebayashi for dinner. Grow Up is an oiiiiiishiiiiii (delicious) restaurant with huge gaijin-sized portions. Seriously, everything on the menu is SO GOOD. Mmmmm. Anyway, every Monday they have ESS meetings there, which means that gaijin and English-studying Japanese people come to talk and eat and stuff. I’m not really into that scene, though. Yes, I’m a bitch, but after a day of working, I don’t really feel like having forced conversation over dinner.
So last night I went there for the food, and to meet up with Mami and Minako. It was a lot of fun! We had our own Japanese corner, ‘cause we are bad-ass rebels like that. Better step up! Mami and Minako went to Disneyland with Grant and Jeff on Sunday, and I saw their pictures and omiyage and stuff. I can’t fucking wait to go to Disneyland, yo! I am going on October 28th with Cindy (and maybe others?) and I’m excited to see the Halloween decorations, as I’ve never seen them at Disneyland. However, I love Christmas decorations at Disneyland more than anything in the entire world, so that just means I’ll have to make another trip a month later, woot! I believe that I have a hot date to go to Disney Sea with Mami, Minako, Veronica, Emily, Cindy, and others, as well, once the Christmas decorations start. Yay, Disney whores!
As usual, Cindy and I ate about seven people’s worth of food while at Grow Up. We have decided we can’t spend any more time with each other or our stomachs may explode.
On an unrelated note, I am currently reading The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon and would recommend it to anyone. It is really good, easy to read, and really short, too, for those of us ADD readers.
So last night I went there for the food, and to meet up with Mami and Minako. It was a lot of fun! We had our own Japanese corner, ‘cause we are bad-ass rebels like that. Better step up! Mami and Minako went to Disneyland with Grant and Jeff on Sunday, and I saw their pictures and omiyage and stuff. I can’t fucking wait to go to Disneyland, yo! I am going on October 28th with Cindy (and maybe others?) and I’m excited to see the Halloween decorations, as I’ve never seen them at Disneyland. However, I love Christmas decorations at Disneyland more than anything in the entire world, so that just means I’ll have to make another trip a month later, woot! I believe that I have a hot date to go to Disney Sea with Mami, Minako, Veronica, Emily, Cindy, and others, as well, once the Christmas decorations start. Yay, Disney whores!
As usual, Cindy and I ate about seven people’s worth of food while at Grow Up. We have decided we can’t spend any more time with each other or our stomachs may explode.
On an unrelated note, I am currently reading The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon and would recommend it to anyone. It is really good, easy to read, and really short, too, for those of us ADD readers.
You know you're turning Japanese when...
You know you’re turning Japanese when…..
1. You see a shiny new 7 11 on the way to Beisia and you get really excited and proclaim, “COOL, a new conbini!!!!”
2. You receive your keitai (cell phone) bill and get excited that it’s “only” $90 when you only talked on it for about 20 minutes in the entire month.
3. You hear that an ALT has an apartment in which the toilet and the shower are in the same room/area and you get disgusted at such a barbaric thought, despite having the same thing for 22 years.
1. You see a shiny new 7 11 on the way to Beisia and you get really excited and proclaim, “COOL, a new conbini!!!!”
2. You receive your keitai (cell phone) bill and get excited that it’s “only” $90 when you only talked on it for about 20 minutes in the entire month.
3. You hear that an ALT has an apartment in which the toilet and the shower are in the same room/area and you get disgusted at such a barbaric thought, despite having the same thing for 22 years.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Mutter mutter mutter
Okay, am I the only one that notices how much Japanese people talk to themselves? Teachers seriously have whole conversations with themselves in the staffroom, especially when on the computer. This complaint is coming from someone who talks to himself ALL THE TIME. I think I am my own best friend, and best conversation partner (I know Eduardo is nodding as he reads this). However, I pale in comparison to the mighty power of the muttering Japanese person. Is this just my staff, or does everyone else notice the same thing? Comment away, people!
Prep for Sports Festival
The good thing about the chuugakkou undoukai being soon is that it means that classes are cancelled a lot lately. 4th period is prep for the sports festival both today and tomorrow, which means less classes for me to teach, woot! The only bad thing is that watching kids learn to march (as if they haven’t done this every year?) is really damn boring. So I hung out with the troublemakers who couldn’t be bothered to participate. Even that was kinda boring, but oh well. At least I was able to entertain myself by just looking down at what I was wearing. I arrived at school today to discover a track suit on my desk. Apparently a shop in Yabuzuka gave track suits as presents, and I was the recipient of the LL-sized one. I was excited to get a free track suit, and then I put it on…..it is seriously the most heinous ‘70’s track suit ever! It is red, black and white, and is just…..not pretty. Hehe. But yay for free track suits. Plus, I’m sure I can wear it to some sort of costume party at some point! My kids were laughing at me when they saw me in it, and I was like “You’re just jealous that you can’t pimp this shit and still look hot, bitches!” Nevertheless, I may bring my own gym clothes for tomorrow. Hmm, perhaps the REI shirt you can see my nipples through?
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Let's embarrassing ourselves
So, as promised, I have uploaded the horrible Genki English song that I wrote about a few days ago.....you can download it here. Don't say I didn't warn you!
Calorie Commando
I really don't think it's possible for me to eat any more food than I have lately. Screw alcoholism, I think I have an eating problem! Fortunately all of the other Ota ALTs are in the same boat as me, so I'm not by gorging at the salad bar by myself or something.
Anyway, tonight I met up with Veronica, Cindy, Sean and Jenny in Ota and we went to a yummy Indian restaurant. It was good! I had been craving Indian for a while, so it was nice to have it....now if only I could find some good Mexican, grrr. Anyway, I ate far too much there. Lots of curry and nan, mmmmm! Then on our way to Shirokiya for drinks, we stopped at a conbini for a drink and dessert.
We chilled at Shirokiya for a few hours and drank a buncha drinks and inhaled a ton of second-hand smoke. Mmmmm! Then we got food before we left. Um, then before our last train Cindy and I devoured a big tray of yakisoba from the conbini. We're bad.
Anyway, it was a fun-ass night. It was nice to just hang out with everyone and chill and talk. Might I add that we are all hilarious, and crazy stories always ensue whenever we hang out. I think we got a lot of "what-the-fuck-is-so-funny-that-those-gaijin-are-laughing-so-hard" looks. Crazy Japanese robots never show emotion! Ah, well, we more than make up for it.
Anyway, tonight I met up with Veronica, Cindy, Sean and Jenny in Ota and we went to a yummy Indian restaurant. It was good! I had been craving Indian for a while, so it was nice to have it....now if only I could find some good Mexican, grrr. Anyway, I ate far too much there. Lots of curry and nan, mmmmm! Then on our way to Shirokiya for drinks, we stopped at a conbini for a drink and dessert.
We chilled at Shirokiya for a few hours and drank a buncha drinks and inhaled a ton of second-hand smoke. Mmmmm! Then we got food before we left. Um, then before our last train Cindy and I devoured a big tray of yakisoba from the conbini. We're bad.
Anyway, it was a fun-ass night. It was nice to just hang out with everyone and chill and talk. Might I add that we are all hilarious, and crazy stories always ensue whenever we hang out. I think we got a lot of "what-the-fuck-is-so-funny-that-those-gaijin-are-laughing-so-hard" looks. Crazy Japanese robots never show emotion! Ah, well, we more than make up for it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
